Is it offensive to ask someone you're dating but haven't slept with how big they are?

[Pitbull]

Context, context, context.

Yes. Most definitely!
Same question asked by 3 different people in 3 different circumstances and I will probably react in 3 different ways.

It's both rude and offensive.

Your opinion. I find it neither.
I might be surprized in some circumstances by someone asking. Most likely I would welcome the question.
It lets me know that the thought of sex has at least crossed her mind and has intersected with thoughts of me.

If a man asks me how big my tits are ...

How many blind men have you dated or do you have the most amazing wardrobe that can hide your gigantic puppies?
The answer to the how big your tit are question
is as obvious as the boobs on your chest.

BIG! REALLY BIG!

I don't generally bring it up with someone unless I'm expecting it to be a more physically based relationship.

I'll remember that if you ever ask me how big it is. :wink:

If that's all you care about pay for a gigolo. :irked:

Gigolo for hire.
Will work for sex.
:tongue:

 

[cripple cock]

This question is currently being posed to a board full of men with big dicks that like to show them off and talk about them. I'm big, so I don't mind talking about it, but if I were small, I might be offended.

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

It isn't offensive. In fact, I go a step further and either do a touch test at some point or send a few racy text messages and ask for the same in return (usually their hard cock makes an appearance in one of them).

As far as relationships. I know the size, and have seen the cocks, of an unusually large amount of men - 90% of which were viewed, groped, etc. purely out of curiosity with no real interest. The rest had no issue with me asking about, touching, or requesting pics of their cocks, didn't matter if it turned out to be a casual or serious relationship.

women are always tight until you stretch them out
(if your stuff is big enough :wink

Hmm. :32:

 

[kazooplayer]

What do you all think, and does the answer to this question depend upon whether you are looking for a more serious connection or just casual sex?

It's all about tact. Honestly, I don't think there is anyway in hell that this will ever go over well with someone less than large, and, considering the law of averages, most guys you ask this will not be large.

If you don't care about chasing off the guys who are smaller, this isn't such a bad plan; if you're a size queen who will only be satisfied by the upper end of large, this isn't such a bad plan. I think where you will run into problems is with the guys on the large side of average, or the small side of big. Asked of something more than a casual sex partner, it does make you come off as a bit of a size queen, and these guys might always be worried that they don't measure up.

I would never be offended by a girl who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for it, but, to be honest, it would make me sad; at heart, I'm a sucker for love and still - naively - want to believe that it trumps all the physical. That's just me, though.

 

[Snakebyte]

What do you all think, and does the answer to this question depend upon whether you are looking for a more serious connection or just casual sex?

I wouldn't be offended at all. But you would have to face one of the following reactions:

a) I am interested in you
I'll grab you by your arm, lead you to the toilette and just show how big I am.

b) I am not interested in you
I'll grab you by your arm, lead you to the toilette and just show how big I am.

 

[pcghabsy]

Not at all. If she asks me, I probably will tease her "Well, why don't you find out?" or something like that. It has never happened to me though, but if it does, I won't get offended at all.

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

What do you all think, and does the answer to this question depend upon whether you are looking for a more serious connection or just casual sex?

voyeuristic-Yeah it's rather tacky and rude.

I can notice and appreciate a nice basket on a man but flaccid size means nothing, as all men know.

I've had sex and relationships with men who were below average or average and it was the hottest sex/relationship I've ever had, and we didn't talk about size and I did not rub in the fact that I was bigger, that I was intact with a foreskin and they were not, or that I have bull balls that hang low while they did not.

I have bisexual and gay male friends who are a bit above average at 6.5-6.75 inches and it's an excellent size and they tell me how it works fine on their male/female, or male partners.

Think of it this way:
What if a man or woman came up to you and asked you how deep your pussy is, how tight/loose it is, or how big/small your tits are? Then they rejected you based on your answers or if you were not rejected and they said, "Well OK, I wanna get my nut/clitoral orgasm, and you'll do!".

I know some women wrote here about how they'll just grope men I don't like it when men do this to me and I don't like it when women do it either; but I don't like being touched/groped/felt up by strangers.

For the women who are into this would you care if a man felt up your skirt or down your pants and felt your pussy?

I have a big cock and I get annoyed with the How big are you? question by size queens and it makes me think the person just uses others like a human dildo during sex and is a total do me queen and is all into themselves and their needs only and not their partners' emotions, what their partner perhaps wants, or anything else besides what they themselves want.

If you're THAT much of a size queen get a dildo, and for the sake of humanity stop having sex, stop looking for sexual partners, stay celibate and don't ever reproduce and pass on the size queen gene.

Or find a good male/female fisting Top with small hands and forearms. :wink:

 

[SEXXXX]

voyeuristic-Yeah it's rather tacky and rude.

I can notice and appreciate a nice basket on a man but flaccid size means nothing, as all men know.

I've had sex and relationships with men who were below average or average and it was the hottest sex/relationship I've ever had, and we didn't talk about size and I did not rub in the fact that I was bigger, that I was intact with a foreskin and they were not, or that I have bull balls that hang low while they did not.

I have bisexual and gay male friends who are a bit above average at 6.5-6.75 inches and it's an excellent size and they tell me how it works fine on their male/female, or male partners.

Think of it this way:
What if a man or woman came up to you and asked you how deep your pussy is, how tight/loose it is, or how big/small your tits are? Then they rejected you based on your answers or if you were not rejected and they said, "Well OK, I wanna get my nut/clitoral orgasm, and you'll do!".

I know some women wrote here about how they'll just grope men I don't like it when men do this to me and I don't like it when women do it either; but I don't like being touched/groped/felt up by strangers.

For the women who are into this would you care if a man felt up your skirt or down your pants and felt your pussy?

I have a big cock and I get annoyed with the How big are you? question by size queens and it makes me think the person just uses others like a human dildo during sex and is a total do me queen and is all into themselves and their needs only and not their partners' emotions, what their partner perhaps wants, or anything else besides what they themselves want.

If you're THAT much of a size queen get a dildo, and for the sake of humanity stop having sex, stop looking for sexual partners, stay celibate and don't ever reproduce and pass on the size queen gene.

Or find a good male/female fisting Top with small hands and forearms. :wink:

somebody's getting sensitive, hey your size should be a HUGE asset

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

somebody's getting sensitive, hey your size should be a HUGE asset

Eh I know I sound jaded or sensitive; but I've been around way too many size queens in bars/clubs, encountered them online, and that sort of mentality and attitude gets very old fast.

Heh I'm humble about my size, or I just think of it as a part of me but not a (no pun) huge asset or defining factor of who I am. :smile: It's just part of my biological makeup like having dark hair or being ambidexterous. I'm thankful that I was born to parents that did not get me cut and that I have the size that I have but it's not like I had a choice in the matter.

It makes it for a nice surprise since I'm short, thin, and I have small hands. :wink:

I once hooked up with a hot Dad type (he really did have kids but was no longer married) and when we had sex (making out, j/o, and rubbing/wrestling, verbal bodyworship, some roleplay, and spanking), he had a big cock and it was a total surprise and very sexy to masturbate!

 

[SEXXXX]

Eh I know I sound jaded or sensitive; but I've been around way too many size queens in bars/clubs, encountered them online, and that sort of mentality and attitude gets very old fast.

Heh I'm humble about my size, or I just think of it as a part of me but not a (no pun) huge asset or defining factor of who I am. :smile: It's just part of my biological makeup like having dark hair or being ambidexterous. I'm thankful that I was born to parents that did not get me cut and that I have the size that I have but it's not like I had a choice in the matter.

It makes it for a nice surprise since I'm short, thin, and I have small hands. :wink:

I once hooked up with a hot Dad type (he really did have kids but was no longer married) and when we had sex (making out, j/o, and rubbing/wrestling, verbal bodyworship, some roleplay, and spanking), he had a big cock and it was a total surprise and very sexy to masturbate!

ha4x don't worry, all men is either a size queen or a liar

 

[D_Jerry_Atric]

ha4x don't worry, all men is either a size queen or a liar

Uh what? Are you making a reference to the old joke?

I had some of the best sex ever and a relationship with a guy that is 5.5 inches at his hardest. *LICK*

 

[bjg30318]

As a gay man, or straight woman, this is a question that shouldn't be asked on a first date. When the time is right, it's just a matter of how to approach this question. There have been several occasions where my "Mr Right For Tonight" took one look at me (after I was nude) and said "Oh Hell No, I have to walk in the morning", there was also guys that I dated for awhile and when it came to "that first time" we tried, but he couldn't handle it. On a side bar, although it took him three months to be able to handle it, my husband loves that I'm bigger.
So my answer is that work up from intimacy to intercourse. My husband and I slept together the first night we met, but we didn't have intercourse. And after almost two decades, we still have the most intense and sexual encounters without intercourse.

 

[SEXXXX]

Uh what? Are you making a reference to the old joke?

I had some of the best sex ever and a relationship with a guy that is 5.5 inches at his hardest. *LICK*

It was a joke, a tried and true one though. It is human to pick the biggest muffin on the rack, yeah it will make you bloated in the end

Our eyes are just bigger than our stomach, I mean ass:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1:

 

[marriedasian]

I would ask why s/he wants to know and if the reason is sincere and honest, i'd have no gripes about spilling the beans. I mean, it is what it is.

 

[Steve26]

I have to ask why this is unattractive. I understand why smaller or average endowed guys would think so but I'm confused to hear it from the bigger guys.

Three main reasons, based on my observations of many size queens here over the years (and I'd like to stress that none of these comments are directed specifically at YOU, as I don't know you and haven't followed your posts all that closely):

1) Even though I myself am unlikely to disappoint size queens, I find it obnoxious that any woman would reject any man for this reason. Nobody deserves to be rejected solely on the basis of body part size, as far as I'm concerned.

2) Perhaps it's overly simplistic, but my assumption is that any woman willing to boil a guy down to one dimension (measured in inches) is probably pretty one-dimensional herself, no matter how much she may love sex or know what she wants in bed

3) I have way too much self-esteem to accept anyone characterizing me as nothing more than what's between my legs, i.e., as life-support for a big dong. And this IS the way size queens come across. To put the shoe on the other foot: Most busty women who are smart and confident have no interest in men whose top five criteria all boil down to "big boobs."

Just FYI, I've been with the same woman 15 years, she's not a size queen, and I never, EVER, want for sex. So your earlier rebuttal has a few holes.

Hope this helps answer your questions.

Steve

 

[MalakingTiti]

I can only speak for myself obviously. I wouldn't be offended.

 

[sendera1]

I think it depends on the situation and context. I've never really dated a size queen so most of the women I've been with enjoyed the sex, but weren't enamored with my size. I was dating one woman who mentioned the old big hands, big feet, tall thing in relation to penis size. She said she doesn't believe that old wives tale.

Anyway, she was always joking around about sleeping with me. It always turned out to be just, that a joke. It was getting old fast. One time I was at her house and we were kidding around. I don't remember how it came up, but I joked that my penis was registered with the police department as a lethal weapon. I was kidding. She said let's see. So I pulled it out. I half thought she might finally get in the mood. The other part of me said I'm tired of this womans games.

She jumped off of the couch and told me to put it back. We saw each other the next day and she apologized in a letter and said it was a pleasant surprise. This woman had more emotional issues than I wanted to deal with. We dated a few more times and I was super patient with this woman and finally realized she wasn't right for me. We never slept with each other either. She called several months later, but I knew it was a waste of time.

Often I let the women bring up any sex talk while we're dating. This happens the majority of the time. It happened with the above mentioned woman also. I've only been with two women who saw the size of my penis and we did not end up sleeping together.

The other woman and I had talked on the phone quite a bit before the first date. It was like 2 months before meeting. I was fixed up with her by a friend. One night she asked about size. I said I'm large. That almost always seemed to work itself into the conversation, by her. She was saying things like "What are you carrying around in your pants."

When we finally met and went out on a date, I was super horny. We had an all day date. We did some hiking, light picnicking, and then went out to dinner at a casual spot. I stayed hard from the time I got out of the car and met her. She was self conscious because she had been trying to get into shape. She wasn't bad looking and I did everything I could to make her feel comfortable.

We ended up making out in her car. Things got a little hot and steamy. I couldn't help myself and put her hand on my penis through my jeans. I finally opened up the jeans and let her touch it. We continued to make out and pet. She kept going on about the size. She was saying stuff like "Does it hurt, is it heavy?" She was cracking me up. It was dark and she kept trying to turn on the car lights to see it more clearly and I kept flipping them off. I was doing a little teasing. I just knew that she was ready. I guess she didn't want me to think she was cheap.

Anyway, I didn't get any that night. We kissed, hugged and went on our merry little way. We talked the next day and she said she had a great time. I offered to take her out to a nice dinner since we didn't do that on the first date. We were casually dressed for hiking type things. That's what she wanted to do. She didn't want to go out. I think she was still self conscious about her figure.

She bothered to tell me that she told her sister and her girlfriend about my penis. I said what did they say. She said she just laughed. So though, I showed her how big I was, it didn't lead to anything. I did feel honored that she was impressed enough to share my penis size with her sister and girlfriend.

The moral of this story is that unless I'm sure I'm getting the benefits, then the woman won't see my penis.

 

[driftingvoid]

What do you all think, and does the answer to this question depend upon whether you are looking for a more serious connection or just casual sex?

I agree with some of the earlier posters in that it can be a double-edged sword. Also, obviously, responses will vary among different men. I am a person that often thinks too much about things, and over-analyzes what people say to me-- especially women. The women I have been around (in other words, I'm not speaking for all women) have raised me to be wary of trusting women on personal/potentially-hurtful matters, and not take what they say at face value. So I'd be in analytical ecstasy/hell (one of the two, at least..) if a girl were to ask me. And on that subject, I think many girls would be a fool to simply take most guys' word on the size of their cocks. I really don't understand the practice of lying about cock size (like they're not going to find out..?), but still, many men do it.

It would be somewhat of a turn-on, because the penis in me would instantly fire up a "well, why don't you find out?" response to my brain. Also, it would intrigue me-- I am considered large by some, so I would be interested to know how she felt about my size... and there's a small chance that I might even get that fantasy "omg! I've never ..." awed response (then again, everyone has "the biggest cock" with some girls). The fact that the girl was interested in details about my cock would interest me-- it means it's (somewhat) important to her. I like a girl who likes (obviously, aside from just "me") my cock, and thinks of it as more than just another body part (like.. my toe or something; nothing special, aside from the pleasure it might be able to give her). I've had friends who just like to play with it when the opportunity arises... find it fun, because of its size. That shit rocks my world, so if this girl asking about my cock is a small indicator that she might be one of those potential cock lovers... that's a good thing.

But what would a list of good things be without a compliment?

Why are you asking about my cock before you've even tried it? Does this mean that what we have is only about sex, or, at best, simply all contingent on my cock's competency in your mind? Nevermind the fact that I would love a girl to have me around as a friend or more with my cock being one of her primary reasons; early on in our association, I would have doubts of a relation's serious capacity if questions about my cock came up so early. I would be tempted to think that the relationship was going more toward friendship/casual sex, but I wouldn't necessarily prevent it from being more.

 

[B_Bonky]

LOL I've dated lots of women and not once has any of them asked. The odds of a woman asking that question are about as high as getting struck by lightning.

Honestly I think men have dick size on their mind a whole lot more than women. The women are thinking "Do I look fat in this dress? How's my mascara?"

 

[B_diggable]

It depends on whether a girl or gay guy is asking the question and it's much easier, common and expected on the internet than face-to-face.

Gay guys expect it, ask for it or post it online. It's more difficult to ask face-to-face, but a fair question for EITHER casual sex or seeking a regular bf. If it's vitally important to you before you hook up, I would broach it politely and discreetly, long after you have established that you like the guy's personality and other aspects of his character. It would be wrong of you to ONLY care about his cock size.

But the truth is, I wouldn't ask for cock size face-to-face, or with someone I only know socially from the real world; without the internet. If I am interested enough in a clothed gay guy, it's because of his face, body, style and personality. So I would find out his dick size simply BY SLEEPING WITH HIM REGARDLESS!

What harm could it do? You don't have to ask the question, put somebody on the spot or make yourself seem like a single-minded Size Queen. I would just slut out if I were you —*it's the gay way. Sex is just the Gay Handshake. Most guys develop into boyfriends AFTER testing each other in bed and enjoying it repeatedly.

Women are a different story. I assume in your case, a woman might want to know your cock size because it's important to her and she can't or won't put out for just anyone, unlike the gays, who will gladly put out for everyone.

It's a fair question, so answer it truthfully if she is polite, discreet and respectful about it. Remember that sex comes with a lot more physical (pregnancy, rape) and social risks for women, so she just wants an idea before she commits to sex or a relationship.

But beware of Size Queens for dating potential. You really need to be compatible with somebody's personality and they need to like you for things besides your cock if it's going to work. You may start to resent someone you don't relate to or who doesn't appreciate the rest of you.