is it ok to not be a girl's friend?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by bigdog83, Nov 16, 2008.

  1. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    if you would like to start something........and their not really sure. whats the point in being friends? is this wrong to think like this? i have enough girl friends already why would i want another one?

    guys what are your feelings?
     
  2. trentster

    trentster New Member

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    It's alright to feel that way. Sometimes people have enough friends. And if she doesn't want to be your girlfriend, then there's no point.
     
  3. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    is just this one girl claims she doesnt want anything/not sure, but yet we use to have sex and she still flirts with me and kisses me,cuddles with me etc....i know im just as bad for not pushing her alway. i guess i dont in hopes of something.

    but this got me thinking why the hell do i want to be her friend. if shes going to keep sending mixed signals then im going to tell her come talk to me when you finally find out. unfortunately she does work in my building and im not really sure how to handle this since i never really told anyone to beat it before....i dont work with her she just works in my complex.
     
  4. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

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    This isn't a women's issue, but I believe you are experiencing the classic "friend zone" thing. You do not have to be her friend if you do not want to--I though most men operated by "get fucked not friended"? :shrug:
     
  5. Pendlum

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    I find it weird. I don't want to date someone who I wouldn't be friends with. My friends are people who I can just be me around. I can talk about video games and guitar and whatever and it flows. Anyway, that's my two cents.
     
  6. rob_just_rob

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    Frankly, if she's "not really sure", I'm not sure I'd want to be her friend and hang around with her. It's no fun being around someone who you want and who doesn't want you back.

    Most of my female friends are either my girlfriend's friends, or women I have already had sex with.
     
  7. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    Fuck that bitch. If she wants to send you mixed signals and take advantage of you to make her self esteem better then I certainly would just get mad at her and tell her to grow the fuck up and get a way from me.
     
  8. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    if she s good enough for you to want to start something with why isn't she god enough to be friends with?
     
  9. StraightCock4Her

    StraightCock4Her New Member

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    Good point. The answer is that she's not. He just wants to get his rocks off in her a few times.
     
  10. bark

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    That's fine. She probably doesn't really want to be friends either. It's just an easy way for her to say "NO".
     
  11. earllogjam

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    Lust and friendship is like oil and vinegar. They don't mix well.
     
  12. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    think about what you are saying here...............


    what do u mean by this?
     
  13. nay-nay

    nay-nay New Member

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    lol. i was just about to ask the same thing...

    it doesn't make sense to want to be with someone...and then turn around and say "she's not someone i'd be friends with." please explain, man. cuz you're not really making any sense.
     
  14. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    the problem is...we fucked the first night we hung out.
    then fucked every time we hung out.
    she asked, what are we.........blah blah blah i said lets be fuck buddies, she agreed.
    had sex a few more times.
    all the while she was opening up to me, showing me she had an emotional connection. not so much this, just how she would do little things, watch out for me, hold my hand, cuddle.......etc. and of course i fell for it, thinking sex would stop.

    i kept bringing up......ah eh, your actions and words are conflicting here. she kept agreeing with me, saying she doesnt know blah blah blah she likes me but doesnt want a relationship blah blah blah but still wants to have sex and see where it goes.

    that is when the sex stopped. i didnt get turned down......i just didnt see it in her eyes and she wasnt jumping on me.
    we were still hanging out alot.....and at this point the emotional bond was getting stronger with her. she would tell me stuff that no one should know:eek: she even let me read her diary.
    this last stage,,,is where she would always kiss me........and i mean that deep tight emotional bs. this is when i realised that i liked her, and i did all along for the most part.

    so either i have no idea what im doing with women or this bitch is fuckin crazy and i want out. lmao
     
  15. bigdog83

    bigdog83 Member

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    exectly......... its clear as day but your looking at it in a females prospective.
     
  16. nay-nay

    nay-nay New Member

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    well, i am a female. :smile:

    so...what's the guy's perspective then?
     
  17. Kassokilleri2ff

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    If you have feelings for her in that way, there is no way you can be friends. I have already experienced this and it sucks. Don't be her friend, just forget about her completely. I guess girls don't understand this at all. In my case I felt shitty and depressed because I liked this girl so much and couldnt have her. But I just simply tried to be her friend for a long time. I thought "well she is a great friend, it would suck to lose her, we have a good time together" but i was wrong. When I stopped talking to her I was alot happier. I was wrong in thinking that keeping her as a friend was a good idea. A year later and i can definately say i wont ever do what i did again. No more friend bull crap.
     
  18. Pendlum

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    I don't agree with this, but I do understand it. The caues of this problem is most guys try to bottle those feelings up. Then the cork pops and the manifest themselvs in in appropriate gestures and such. I have had, and to an extent still have, a crush on one of my best friends. She is awesome, but I know it wont ever happen. But her and I have talked about this extensively, so it isn't a problem to deal with it. Which is why my "crush" is much smaller than it once was. I can control it. On the other hand, this isn't a case of flat out rejection to friend status, it's a little more complicated than that. And I also was her friend first before anything else developed.

    I just thought of a really great way to rick roll her.. haha *works on that*
     
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