Is it possible to be sexually incompatable with the one you love?
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crescendo69
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One would hope that such incompatibility is rare, but it certainly happens. And, if that happens in a marriage where "they were saving themselves for each other until after the wedding" it could pose a real problem.
Isn't asking the question the very thing that potential lovers should do? And, to ask the question, is to suggest the utter stupidity of those who so strongly oppose pre-marital sex.
Sex without the strong bond of friendship and love misses the intense meaning and importance of sex; but, it is equally true that genuine incompatibility can exist evern where there is genuine love.
Isn't asking the question the very thing that potential lovers should do? And, to ask the question, is to suggest the utter stupidity of those who so strongly oppose pre-marital sex.
Sex without the strong bond of friendship and love misses the intense meaning and importance of sex; but, it is equally true that genuine incompatibility can exist evern where there is genuine love.
whatireallywant
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I think it can happen. For average people, maybe not, but for people who are outside of the averages, yes.
And there are different ways people can be sexually incompatible.
There is the size issue, of course. Again, most people are average so this won't be a problem for them. For people outside of the averages, whether on the large or small side (and this goes for women as well as men, too), it can be.
There are also incompatible sex drives. Say one person has a very high sex drive and their partner has a very low one.
Another is that people can actually be allergic to their partner's body chemistry. I am convinced that I was allergic to one of my exes' body chemistry. I had a lot of problems with him that I didn't have with anyone else.
It's unfortunate, but it occasionally happens. Now the closest I have been to "love" was with my LTR. We were sexually incompatible for the sex drive reason. Mine is a lot higher than his. He and I are still friends and still talk to each other on a regular basis, and enjoy each other's company, though.
And there are different ways people can be sexually incompatible.
There is the size issue, of course. Again, most people are average so this won't be a problem for them. For people outside of the averages, whether on the large or small side (and this goes for women as well as men, too), it can be.
There are also incompatible sex drives. Say one person has a very high sex drive and their partner has a very low one.
Another is that people can actually be allergic to their partner's body chemistry. I am convinced that I was allergic to one of my exes' body chemistry. I had a lot of problems with him that I didn't have with anyone else.
It's unfortunate, but it occasionally happens. Now the closest I have been to "love" was with my LTR. We were sexually incompatible for the sex drive reason. Mine is a lot higher than his. He and I are still friends and still talk to each other on a regular basis, and enjoy each other's company, though.
That was said beautifully.
This is a fear I have. To find someone that I am most comfortable with and the intimacy be lacking. What a horrible place to be.
I'm hoping that is true but I've loved girls who I'm not compatible with, so who knows.
Probably, but I think most things can be worked out with cooperation, understanding and patience. Ultimately, if you need something your partner can't give you then they should let you get it somewhere else, although ideally you can still keep your relationship with them.
One of my exes told me we were sexually incompatible because I wouldn't kiss her during sex if she had stankbreath. I disagreed with her because I love kissing just as much as the next guy, I just wish she'd have done something to freshen her breath!
One of my exes told me we were sexually incompatible because I wouldn't kiss her during sex if she had stankbreath. I disagreed with her because I love kissing just as much as the next guy, I just wish she'd have done something to freshen her breath!
open501s
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Hmmmm. I've had the opposite experience more often- sexually compatible but not compatible in a relationship - Star Crossed Lover syndrome.
But I think sex is just a part of the compatibility equation, so yes I do think it's possible to not be sexually compatible yet have a fulfilling loving relationship. I have a feeling there are lots of couples that don't have sex anymore or much less sex after being together more than 10 years and their lengthy relationship is built on friendship and trust more than sex so they cuddle a lot and hold hands, do nice things for each other and enjoy common endeavors that brought them together in the first place. Sex is great though. It's like the icing on the cake that makes everything sweeter, a physical, emotional, spiritual consummation. I'd try to make it work.
But I think sex is just a part of the compatibility equation, so yes I do think it's possible to not be sexually compatible yet have a fulfilling loving relationship. I have a feeling there are lots of couples that don't have sex anymore or much less sex after being together more than 10 years and their lengthy relationship is built on friendship and trust more than sex so they cuddle a lot and hold hands, do nice things for each other and enjoy common endeavors that brought them together in the first place. Sex is great though. It's like the icing on the cake that makes everything sweeter, a physical, emotional, spiritual consummation. I'd try to make it work.
Yes and sort-of no.
To one extent or another, obviously, no two partners are going to have exactly the same sexual desires, drives, turn-ons, etc, so there's always going to have to be some sort of compromise. But relationships are like that anyway-- full of compromises. Just like anything else, two people can be so very different sexually that any compromise isn't going to satisfy one or both partners. In that case, they are obviously incompatible. It seems to me, though, that people compromise and choose to make things work in so many other areas that in most cases I would venture that there are relatively few cases of sexual imcompatibility on its own making a relationship not work. I also would venture to say that there are things that would be deal-breakers for a lot of people ahead of sexual incompatibility-- abuse is an obvious one, desire for kids, religion, money issues, etc.
To one extent or another, obviously, no two partners are going to have exactly the same sexual desires, drives, turn-ons, etc, so there's always going to have to be some sort of compromise. But relationships are like that anyway-- full of compromises. Just like anything else, two people can be so very different sexually that any compromise isn't going to satisfy one or both partners. In that case, they are obviously incompatible. It seems to me, though, that people compromise and choose to make things work in so many other areas that in most cases I would venture that there are relatively few cases of sexual imcompatibility on its own making a relationship not work. I also would venture to say that there are things that would be deal-breakers for a lot of people ahead of sexual incompatibility-- abuse is an obvious one, desire for kids, religion, money issues, etc.
YES. Definitely YES!!!
But that doesn't mean you can't bring them over to the side of licentious avarice by using your well honed(boned), wiley ways.:biggrin1:
Am I wrong?
You can be very much in love and enjoy each others company and have a disappointing to non-existent sex life. I have mentioned our problems numerous times in the forums and suffice it to say that she is in pain if we attempt intercourse. She has been trying to dilate her vagina to accommodate me for nearly 2 years but there are so many factors that hinder her progress from releasing stress to vaginal infections and her doctor told her that there is a possibility that it may not happen. I believe that her learning to relax and enjoy her sexuality is the most important thing. Progress is damn slow but she is trying.
It is very stressful at times for both of us, frustration is not a strong enough description, but love wins out.
It is very stressful at times for both of us, frustration is not a strong enough description, but love wins out.
