Is it possible to increase sex drive!?

[missbec]

Greetings,

I am healthy 20-something woman. I dont have self issues (that I can think of), love sex and exploring. The problem is that I do not feel like sex as much as I would like to and cannot arouse myself with my partner around as much as I want to.

Has anyone had a smiliar experience?

Perhaps a word of advice?

Thanks!

-B

 

[dolfette]

you're going to get a lot of people telling you that your hormones are faulty and that a doctor will magically fix it, but i suspect they're full of shit.

common things known to kill sex drive:
hormonal contraceptives
meds (especially antidepressants)
general poor health
fatigue
depression

the obvious things to do are eat right, work out and make sure you're getting all the vitamins and minerals you need. wank? sex drive snowballs, so having more orgasms will usually make you want more sex. think about changing meds/contraceptives. if you have any other 'symptoms' to do with your physical and/or emotional health then sex drive might be worth mentioning when you bring them up with your doctor, just in case they're linked. are you getting enough of the right kind of foreplay, and is it the sort of sex you're really after with the person you really want?

BUT if your sex drive has always been low, you might just have a lower sex drive. this might be normal for you and there'll bugger all that'll change it. there's nothing wrong with having a lower sex drive than our sex obsessed media tells us we should have.

 

[tbrguy]

What about acting out one or two of your fantasies?

I assume you daydream about slightly unusual sexual encounters from time to time...

 

[dolfette]

What about acting out one or two of your fantasies?

I assume you daydream about slightly unusual sexual encounters from time to time...

but be aware that living it often ruins it. things that provide years of hot fap fodder can be rendered tepid by the reality.

learn to know the difference between the things that turn you on in your head and the things that will turn you on in the flesh.

don't ever feel like you ought to try it. only try it if you actually really want to.

 

[pipemare]

I'm inclined to believe that sex drive is different for everyone. there are some who want to have sex every day, multiple times a day, and there are some of us who are satisfied with once or twice a week, and I'm sure that there are some who are okay with even less. I don't think anything is "wrong" with any of those people.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

In my experience, focusing more on the playfull side, the foreplay seems to work wonders on the women I've been with.

Just keep sex out of your mind completely and just enjoy being smelled, and touched and a lil bite here and there won't hurt.

I've always thought that it's a man's job to make a woman feel like having sex and not the kind to pleasure him but for her own pleasure.

So my view is external and I say take a look at how your partner makes you feel about sex.

 

[OlderGuy]

Have you explored your and his anatomies by candlelight, slowly and sensually? There is quite a bit of material on the web and in bookstores about tantric sex. Sometimes the best way to get aroused is to spend time not hurrying it.

Spend the day doing something that makes you feel sexy - like making your home a sexy nest for the night and cooking a fun meal together. Have some wine and talk about things you normally don't - happy memories from your childhood, or dreams you've always wanted to fulfill.

Sensuality is a journey of which sex is only one part. Let it build over time - even hours. By the time you get to the sex, your bodies will be as on fire as your minds and spirits.

Sex is sexy without the why.

 

[dolfette]

^^not everyone works that way and it's ok if you don't.
you're not a freak if you'd prefer just getting down to business.

whether it's long, romantic evenings or rough & ready quickies, whatever works for you is ok.

 

[missbec]

you're going to get a lot of people telling you that your hormones are faulty and that a doctor will magically fix it, but i suspect they're full of shit.

common things known to kill sex drive:
hormonal contraceptives
meds (especially antidepressants)
general poor health
fatigue
depression

the obvious things to do are eat right, work out and make sure you're getting all the vitamins and minerals you need. wank? sex drive snowballs, so having more orgasms will usually make you want more sex. think about changing meds/contraceptives. if you have any other 'symptoms' to do with your physical and/or emotional health then sex drive might be worth mentioning when you bring them up with your doctor, just in case they're linked. are you getting enough of the right kind of foreplay, and is it the sort of sex you're really after with the person you really want?

BUT if your sex drive has always been low, you might just have a lower sex drive. this might be normal for you and there'll bugger all that'll change it. there's nothing wrong with having a lower sex drive than our sex obsessed media tells us we should have.

Thank you kindly Dolfette. I will take what you have said into consideration. I do need a better diet and more exercise... Also, I will ensure I try to masturbate at least once a day everyday.
-B

 

[missbec]

but be aware that living it often ruins it. things that provide years of hot fap fodder can be rendered tepid by the reality.

learn to know the difference between the things that turn you on in your head and the things that will turn you on in the flesh.

don't ever feel like you ought to try it. only try it if you actually really want to.

AH! Yes. One thing I did not note - My previous partner of 4 years and I enjoyed D/s sex and other fantasies and rarely did we do vanilla sex.

I could have possibly cconditioned yself not to become aroused by "vanilla" sex which I have found a lot of men are into. That ofcourse doesnt stop me for searcyhing for someone who is into sex that is not just of the vanlila kind.

Hmmn. That could be it.

-B

 

[missbec]

In my experience, focusing more on the playfull side, the foreplay seems to work wonders on the women I've been with.

Just keep sex out of your mind completely and just enjoy being smelled, and touched and a lil bite here and there won't hurt.

I've always thought that it's a man's job to make a woman feel like having sex and not the kind to pleasure him but for her own pleasure.

So my view is external and I say take a look at how your partner makes you feel about sex.

Oooh.. now there's an idea!... if only more men were privy to this info, maybe they'd get more sex!?

Thanks!