is it sadist to...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by avdude19, Nov 20, 2010.

  1. avdude19

    avdude19 Member

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    is it sadist to want to be in a really horrible relationship? like ive been in a series of bad relationships, but im talking about a horrible relationship where a guy is really good looking where everyone thinks hes the greatest guy in the world and hes athletic and an involved member of society and then a month after dating he begins to be a mega jerk where he tells you stuff like "you're worthless," and "you're never going to have anyone. I'm the best you got," and basically makes you feel like crap but at the same time u like him becuz hes with you, but at the same time is worried that one day he'll leave you. just wondering.
     
  2. petite

    petite New Member

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    It's called emotional masochism. You want an emotional sadist, is that correct?
     
  3. jump_start

    jump_start Member

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    No, it's not sadist. What it is: a verbally and mentally abusive relationship.

    It sounds like you've got some personal issues that need to be dealt with by a professional. If you're completely hooked on him because of his looks (and from your post, it sounds like that's why you're him), you may have some self esteem issues as well. There's lots of similarities to "battered wife syndrome". He's controlling you by ruining your confidence and self esteem through his hurtful and condescending comments.

    Let me ask you this: do you believe what he says? Do you believe he's the best you can do? Do you believe you'll never do better than him? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, it's time to get rid of this guy and seek professional help. NOBODY deserves to be treated like this. NOBODY.

    I speak from experience on this. I was in one of these relationships and it really messed me up. I'm still working through the issues I developed from that abusive relationship. If there's one piece of advice I can give you, it's this: No man is worth compromising your personal well-being, physical, mental or otherwise for, in order to be his whipping post.

    EDIT: I let my personal experience influence my post. I could've written that original post about myself. Sorry if I offended you/anyone. I wasn't intending to do so.
     
    #3 jump_start, Nov 20, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 20, 2010
  4. avdude19

    avdude19 Member

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    haha well im not with anyone right now, but i do want a relationship thats like this. idk why but specifically i want an experience like this. its very weird to me, and i know its strange. haha i know i got issues, but i know im good looking and i do have confidence in my self, but im not confident that i can find a good guy or a great girl
     
  5. petite

    petite New Member

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    I don't understand emotional masochism, but it sounds like that's what you're talking about. You might need some professional help. It doesn't sound healthy to me, either.
     
  6. helgaleena

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    ^ ^ ^ what petite said. It's not sadism, it's masochism. And it's not physical brutality,which is covered by law, but bullying and belittling. What is it that makes you happy about being told you are worthless? It drives some to suicide.
    Don't indulge until you have had therapy to find out the answer, please.
     
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