Is it true that most gays don't really accept bisexuals?

[lokican]

Hi I'm in a 23 bi male student, only in the past year been open about my attraction to men with my peers. I would say I act straight, and never got in to "the gay community scene" in montreal, and only knew a few people who identify themselves as gay. Anyways I was hanging out with some friends of mines who are bisexuals and have been out for a long time (1 male and 1 female). They told me that most gay people don't really believe that someone is bisexuals, and have faced some subtle discrimination. Nothing serious but more like an attitude that bisexuals have not made up there mind, or their in denial. They even told me that there is even some resentment towards bisexuals form some people. Anyways I was wondering what other people experiences have been? Does the gay community not really accept bisexuals? (BTW for the record in my opinion men, women, whatever your in to, that it's all about preferences and that does not define who you are)

 

[prince_will]

That seems to be the norm, apparently. I've never had this problem, but then again, i haven't admitted my bisexuality to anyone. People like to say that being bi is the last step towards homosexuality, but i disagree with that. i guess some gay people might think that being bi is a way of shunning homosexuality. i could be wrong.

i always thought that this could be compared to people's stance on issues. There are usually two sides, and saying you're in the middle will sometimes bring resentment from either party. it's a burden, but don't let it get in your way of who you are.

 

[Micstar456]

I am a straight man and I accept all. Why gays won't accept their cousins is beyond me.

Now while I do not see the problem there, I do see that bisexuals ALSO sleep with men as well. So why do they face prejudice that usually gays get from straights (all minus one - me)!

 

[B_Nick4444]

(BTW for the record in my opinion men, women, whatever your in to, that it's all about preferences and that does not define who you are)

that's odd -- I would have thought that would have been the sine qua non for defining who one is?

 

[Industrialsize]

Wait a second, every major Gay rights group, such as the Human Rights campaign, National Gay and Lesbian Task force etc. refer to fighting for lgBt rights......the B stands for Bi.........I have many Bi friends and at least among the people I know........Not one of them is unaccepting of Bi men and women.

 

[DaveyR]

I can't speak for anyone else but I don't give a shit about anyone's sexuality. That's their business.

 

[NEWREBA]

Hi I'm in a 23 bi male student, only in the past year been open about my attraction to men with my peers. I would say I act straight, and never got in to "the gay community scene" in montreal, and only knew a few people who identify themselves as gay. Anyways I was hanging out with some friends of mines who are bisexuals and have been out for a long time (1 male and 1 female). They told me that most gay people don't really believe that someone is bisexuals, and have faced some subtle discrimination. Nothing serious but more like an attitude that bisexuals have not made up there mind, or their in denial. They even told me that there is even some resentment towards bisexuals form some people. Anyways I was wondering what other people experiences have been? Does the gay community not really accept bisexuals? (BTW for the record in my opinion men, women, whatever your in to, that it's all about preferences and that does not define who you are)

i think this topic has been discussed here before. i personally feel that bi males have a much harder time of it than bi women. they get negative stuff from their straight friends and also some from the gay ones. most bi guys i know are definitely in the closet. btw they seem to be really sweet men too who suffer for their orientation. sad.

 

[Micstar456]

someone's stats are way off, thread man.

 

[invisibleman]

I need more bisexuals in my life.

 

[salinger]

I have more straight friends than gay friends for this reason. Some gays so desperately want everyone to be gay that they view it as some sort of betrayal when you sleep with women. But I also live in Hollywood which is 90% douchebag anyway, gay or straight.

 

[DC_DEEP]

I can't speak for anyone else but I don't give a shit about anyone's sexuality. That's their business.

Well, it would appear that you spoke for me, too.

 

[bek2335]

It has been my experience that lesbians, in my generation anyway (I am 54), are not receptive to the idea of bisexuality. For that reason I have always had a hard time "fitting in" with either the lesbian or straight groups. (Gay men have been much more accepting of me, and I believe that is because they are less threatened because what I do doesn't matter to them or reflect on them.) I think there are two main reasons why lesbians have been uneasy with the idea:
1. They, like most of the rest of our society, insist on seeing people as either gay or straight, and they don't know what to do with ambiguity.
2. Like many other members of oppressed groups, they see showing a romantic interest in any of the perceived oppressors as a betrayal. It's as though they would would see me dating a man as saying that lesbians are "less than". I have a very close friend who is African-American (I am white) and she has told me she has sometimes felt angry at seeing black men with white women for just that reason - it feels to her like the black man is saying, "I can get a white woman and white women are superior, so way would I want a black woman?"

 

[Bluewave]

Er - what Industrialsize said.

"Why gays won't accept their cousins is beyond me."? Using 'gays' as a catch all for a large and diverse group with a wide range of views isn't helpful.

The LGBT community is just like any other, and there'll always be some people who don't get on/agree with others, but to suggest that most gay men don't accept bisexuals is meaningless unless you've actually asked most gay men. I have friends who are gay, bi and straight, and some of them have defined themselves in different categories over the years, but not one of them has ever had a problem with any of the others on the basis of their definition. And here's the key thing - most of us never even think about it.

It's unfortunate that some of the people you've met have had a bad experience with some individuals, Lokican, but I definitely don't think you should base your expectations of all gay men on that.

I'll happily accept you however you define yourself on the scale

 

[Zzingerific]

I've heard about this but never personally seen it.

But my two cents: the problem is historical. Years ago, there were so many closeted people who got married anyway just to fit in (and then act like Larry Craig at the Minneapolis airport). Rightly or wrongly, I suspect that while many gay people can intellectually accept bisexuality, there may be a deep suspicion that many bisexuals are Uncle Toms.

I can't speak for anyone else but I don't give a shit about anyone's sexuality. That's their business.

If I'm attracted to someone, I certainly do give a shit!

 

[THEEman]

I think everyones curious either way. whether that curiousity is rooted in disguting or pleasure is beyond me.

but as myself. Honestly. I'm on the fence, on the plate ready to bat and don't know whether to swing. to put in a metaphor/analogy
.

this is probably just an excuse for my damned [SIZE=-1]Indesciveness. [/SIZE]

 

[badger2395]

Wait a second, every major Gay rights group, such as the Human Rights campaign, National Gay and Lesbian Task force etc. refer to fighting for lgBt rights......the B stands for Bi.........I have many Bi friends and at least among the people I know........Not one of them is unaccepting of Bi men and women.

Except, Industrial, that HRC has a piss-poor record of doing anything that actually is inclusive of bisexuals, or representing bisexuals accurately. NGLTF is a bit better, but neither organization has done much to recognize and correct biphobia within the G/L communities. I used to keep all of the letters I received from major GLBT organizations, and that inclusion you mentioned was spotty at best. It's unfortunate, since I think there's a lot that could be done to advance GLBT rights if only these organizations would actually do more to be bi inclusive and accepting.

 

[LoveLoveSugar]

Biphobia.... Weird- But anyways- Im gay, and Im ok with Bi's and trans's and.... well... everyone in the world pretty much.

Because Im gay- I know whats its like to be discriminated against- and therefor I treat people equally; As a gay guy, you have to be pretty open to other peoples decisions- Because if your not... then your no better than the fag-bashers kicking your teeth against the curb.... No?

Yes.

 

[playainda336]

Some Black and White people don't like mixed people at all. Go figure.

-shrugs-

 

[auncut10in]

There are probably some gay guys that do not accept bi guys. But it is a diverse group. There are some gay guys that don't like other races, straight people, democrats etc. BUT FOR THE MOST PART, THE GAY COMMUNITY IS THE MOST INCLUSIVE, LESS JUDGEMENTAL GROUP YOU WILL EVER COME ACROSS. Why? Simply because you learn a lot about being marginalized and hated just for who you are.

And it is true; a lot of gay guys think that bi guys are just moving toward being gay on their own timetable. It is also because a lot of them have done the same thing. I would say about 70% of my gay friends at one time considered themselves bi. It is just a defense mechanism to help us deal with society. I am not saying every bi guy is going to be gay. There are a lot of bi guys that will always be bi. And hopefully the gay community welcomes them as well. After all what men would bi guys sleep with if gay guys did not accept them? Only other bi guys?

 

[BigNole]

I am gay and TOTALLY accept ones bi-sexuality. It is true tho that some gay people think that way but I would not think most do. Would not worry about it. Also, this site should be a good indicator of how common bi-sexuality really is.