Is it true that most gays don't really accept bisexuals?

[DC_DEEP]

Except, Industrial, that HRC has a piss-poor record of doing anything that actually is inclusive of bisexuals, or representing bisexuals accurately. NGLTF is a bit better, but neither organization has done much to recognize and correct biphobia within the G/L communities. I used to keep all of the letters I received from major GLBT organizations, and that inclusion you mentioned was spotty at best. It's unfortunate, since I think there's a lot that could be done to advance GLBT rights if only these organizations would actually do more to be bi inclusive and accepting.

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feel that way about the HRC. They are a pretty worthless "contribution black hole" as far as I'm concerned. I support the NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom). They actually seem to do stuff. They take a different approach, though, and are working toward rights for all consenting adults who have non-standard sexuality. Straight or gay or anywhere on that spectrum, polyamorous, BdSm, whatever.

 

[Hellboy0]

I am gay and TOTALLY accept ones bi-sexuality. It is true tho that some gay people think that way but I would not think most do. Would not worry about it. Also, this site should be a good indicator of how common bi-sexuality really is.

I agree. I love my bi-friends.

And who the hell coined that phrase "biphobia" used earlier in this thread??? Is that a real word...?

 

[Primal_Savage]

I agree. I love my bi-friends.

And who the hell coined that phrase "biphobia" used earlier in this thread??? Is that a real word...?

....and I love my totally gay friends, especially hellboy0 :tongue: slurp! :tongue: slurp!

 

[Industrialsize]

I think Bi guys are hot

 

[badger2395]

I agree. I love my bi-friends.

And who the hell coined that phrase "biphobia" used earlier in this thread??? Is that a real word...?

It sure is...Biphobia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(check out the links for further info on the term)

 

[Primal_Savage]

It sure is...Biphobia - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

(check out the links for further info on the term)

After reading that and related threads, maybe I'm not a bisexual at all, but rather a pansexual or omisexual as my sexual attraction/desire has little to do with a person's gender identity. The problem that I have is that "Pansexuality is sometimes described as the capacity to love a person romantically irrespective of gender." The word love is problematic for me in that it is seldom involved in the equation. For me it generally simply physical lust.

That said, helloboy and Indy, how do feel about pansexuals. Still wanta be my Daddys in heat? :lol:

 

[Hellboy0]

After reading that and related threads, maybe I'm not a bisexual at all, but rather a pansexual or omisexual as my sexual attraction/desire has little to do with a person's gender identity. The problem that I have is that "Pansexuality is sometimes described as the capacity to love a person romantically irrespective of gender." The word love is problematic for me in that it is seldom involved in the equation. For me it generally simply physical lust.

That said, helloboy and Indy, how do feel about pansexuals. Still wanta be my Daddys in heat? :lol:

I like the pan or omnisexual definition better... I certainly don't see the problem that some people are alluding to. If someone(s) is with you (sexually speaking) and you're all enjoying it, then who the fuck cares how you define their preferences anyway.

I can't speak for Industrialsize, but I'd definitely be a Daddy in heat for you, Primal. Like that's a big surprise. And I'm sure Indy feels the same; we'd play very nicely together with our pansexual hotty!

 

[BigLittleMan]

accept, yes. what you do in your private life is your business.

get involved with? not so much. why? life and work and family and friends and bills and relationships are enough work. having to deal with another level of (and i can't think of a better word right now) baggage just doesn't appeal to me. call me lazy.

sorry.

 

[aquadude]

Hi I'm in a 23 bi male student, only in the past year been open about my attraction to men with my peers. I would say I act straight, and never got in to "the gay community scene" in montreal, and only knew a few people who identify themselves as gay. Anyways I was hanging out with some friends of mines who are bisexuals and have been out for a long time (1 male and 1 female). They told me that most gay people don't really believe that someone is bisexuals, and have faced some subtle discrimination. Nothing serious but more like an attitude that bisexuals have not made up there mind, or their in denial. They even told me that there is even some resentment towards bisexuals form some people. Anyways I was wondering what other people experiences have been? Does the gay community not really accept bisexuals? (BTW for the record in my opinion men, women, whatever your in to, that it's all about preferences and that does not define who you are)

Personally I think that a true bisexual is very rare. In most cases when someone says that they are bi, it usually means that they are in denial. But that is just my opinion. I don't discriminate against bisexuals, except I'm not sure I could ever be in a relationship with a bisexual. I would constantly be thinking about how there is a part of them that I could never satisfy or fulfill.

 

[badger2395]

Personally I think that a true bisexual is very rare. In most cases when someone says that they are bi, it usually means that they are in denial. But that is just my opinion. I don't discriminate against bisexuals, except I'm not sure I could ever be in a relationship with a bisexual. I would constantly be thinking about how there is a part of them that I could never satisfy or fulfill.

While I am sure you feel this way, this is exactly the sort of thinking that bisexuals point to and say, "this is what biphobia looks like." I mean, c'mon, if bisexuals are in denial, then why aren't homophobes right when they say that gay people are in denial, and can be "cured"?

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

i think this topic has been discussed here before. i personally feel that bi males have a much harder time of it than bi women. they get negative stuff from their straight friends and also some from the gay ones. most bi guys i know are definitely in the closet. btw they seem to be really sweet men too who suffer for their orientation. sad.

I wouldn't say bi women have it easier in the gay community. After dating a few women in my late teens & early 20s, I found there was always a distinction made between the women who had been with men and those who had never or would never be with a man. The nevers were always considered more real, while some of the others were more suspect. Ehhh.

But socially in general, yes. Bi women have it much easier than Bi men.

To the OP, just go with the person you like/love/wanna bang without concern to those who don't understand or disapprove.

 

[DC_DEEP]

It is true that often, someone who does not fit neatly into a binary label can be rejected by both sides. I think that really only points to the ignorance of the non-accepter. With that said, though, I think a lot of it depends upon how the bi person views the world around him.

Do I accept bi people? Well, yeah. Am I tolerant of people who cheat on their "other halves?" Not so much. If you are bi, and playing the field, that's one thing. If you are in a relationship, and not totally honest, that's another story.

I have a friend who is truly bisexual (I'm guessing her percentages would be about 60/40 straight/gay), but I call her a serial monogamist. She has been in relationships with both men and with women, but is faithful when she is in a relationship. Unfortunately, she makes some really bad choices about whom she chooses! I think it is part of her personality - she always wants to fix what's broken. After she got her Ph. D. in chemistry, she worked for several years in industrial plastics, then decided to go back to her original love - medicine. She's now a practicing primary care physician. Still trying to fix what's broken.

But back to the original question here - where would anyone get the idea that it's their business what another person's sexual orientation is, and that anything outside the binary is bad?

 

[2322]

I've run across this kind of discrimination so I tend to avoid it. I use the term, "gay," when talking to gay people and save the bi issue for closer friends and family. It's just not worth the hassle of hearing the small-minded try to act all sagacious and laugh you off with, "Honey, bisexuality is just a stop on the train to gaytown!" Oh please. I'm 41 years old. I know what I like and what I don't and what I like includes women!

I'm just trying to pick my battles. My mood for one sex or the other varies from month to month or year to year, my feelings change too. It's far too personal or involved to get into at a bar or cocktail party.

Something I've learned at LPSG. Don't worry about the labels. The label needs to fit YOU, not you fit the LABEL. If someone's interpretation of the term, "bisexual," is different than mine then so what?

So is there a lot of discrimination? HELL YES. It's one of the reasons I've always felt alienated from gay pop culture.

 

[bek2335]

Jason:
I identify more with your post than anything I've read here or or on any other site. I'd love to hear more about you and your experiences if you feel inclined to send me a message.

 

[2322]

Jason:
I identify more with your post than anything I've read here or or on any other site. I'd love to hear more about you and your experiences if you feel inclined to send me a message.

Wow thanks! I'm most humbled!

I'm certain this is why it's taken so long for me to embrace the homosexual side of myself. Conversation after conversation resulted in more questions. The gay guys kept saying, "You're gay," but how can I be gay if I like some women as much as I like some men? That resulted in me telling myself that I'm not really gay. I must just be a confused straight guy with a domineering mother or just plain fucked-up. It took a book, Dual Attraction, to make me realize that bisexuality does indeed exist but it's not quite what people (straight or gay) think it should be. There's a whole different mode of attraction for me going on with either sex. I react more physically to men yet more intuitively with women. It's a little odd but this sort of bisexual attraction is, apparently, not so rare that I'm a freak.

 

[blah69420]

i think of myself bi. I dont think i am even close to gay though (not that there is anything wrong with that).

I just like having my cock sucked, ass played with or sucking or whatever. It just feels good. Why shouldnt I?

I have no intrest in a relationship what so ever.

I do it cause it just feels good.

 

[Kimahri]

Well, I'm gay and I have nothing against bi guys. They are often the hotter boys anyway. LOL. I seem to be a bi magnet because I've met a lot of bi guys. I agree with one of the earlier posts that a lot of gays think bis are in denial. But, as with so much about being human, sexuality isn't black and white either.

 

[B_Monster]

Im bisexual and I've never experienced any type of discrimination from a gay dude, gay men and women have always been very nice to me.

 

[Primal_Savage]

Personally I think that a true bisexual is very rare. In most cases when someone says that they are bi, it usually means that they are in denial. But that is just my opinion. I don't discriminate against bisexuals, except I'm not sure I could ever be in a relationship with a bisexual. I would constantly be thinking about how there is a part of them that I could never satisfy or fulfill.

Sorry, but I have to disagree with your first two sentences. My three closest friends and I are bi and we've been that way for damn near 20 years. As two are married to women and the other basically feels the way I do, we're NOT in denial. In terms of guys that I've had sex with and short term relationships, the majority have also been bi. That includes two other buddies that I've know since my freshman year of college, both of whom are also married to women.

 

[ZOS23xy]

Another point driven to me was that as a bi sexual, I wasn't going to be exclusive to whomever i was going to be seeing. It even mattered to the guys who were seeing three other guys a week....

...can't have sex with men and women. You're either one or the other...