Is it true that most gays don't really accept bisexuals?

[B_IanTheTall]

I have almost found gay guys accepting, specially the ones that like long, thick cocks attached to tall guys...

but that's not what you meant.

 

[B_dumbcow]

i think it would help a lot if you give your definition of "accepted." are you being harassed? have you lost a job? has your family disowned you?

no nothing too bad. i just mean that i am generally disliked more by gays and they dont like me to be in their social groups, wheras the lesbians i come across tend to warm to me more.

 

[chavous]

I am gay and accept everyone. I think what you may be eluding to is that some gays think a bi person is a gay that just can't accept themselves. I think there are really bi people that get turned on by sex no matter who it is with!

 

[Standard Deviant]

I am 100% gay and I get quite annoyed when I hear people refer to themselves as bisexual. I think that sex and love are two different concepts which is why I don't believe bisexuality really exists. I do think it's possible for a person to have sex with both men and women but when it comes to actually being in love with someone, you're either gay or straight. I find people who see themselves as bisexual are really just deluded and pretentious wankers who think they're more interesting than they really are. They are confusing sex with love and I find them to be a waste of my time.

This is wierd to me--I always thought it was easy to see how you could love someone regardless of what kind of genitalia they happened to have, but that following through with sexual expression was the less likely part.

I was a gay rights activist in the 1970s before gays even accepted lesbians into the movement, much less bisexuals. I'll never forget as late as 1984 being a member of the Gay Pride steering committee for that year and a bi friend suggesting we should be accepted as part of the movement. The gay chairman reacted, "If bi's want to be active in this movement, they should form their own group!" And here were the two of us sitting there, stunned. (And doing a HUGE amount of the work!) It took a couple more years for "gay lesbian" to become "gay lesbian bi" and so on.

I never said it out loud to the small-minded, bigoted gay men I worked with on these causes, but I always thought of gays and lesbians and straights as people whose emotional/sexual/mental development just came to a halt at a much earlier stage than those of us who achieved bisexuality. The gays and lesbians are even more stunted than the straights. They are like little 10-year-olds who think "ick, boy germs!" or "ick, girl germs!" unable to relate to other genders. It is no revelation that many gay men seem to have "issues" beyond sex with women in general, and many lesbians are notorious for "hating men." Straights are more advanced but still cannot handle the thought of going beyond what society dictates.

I like the quote by the initiator of this thread about people thinking we need to be cured, but we are the cure.

 

[D_Chaumbrelayne_Copprehead]

I am gay and accept everyone. I think what you may be eluding to is that some gays think a bi person is a gay that just can't accept themselves. I think there are really bi people that get turned on by sex no matter who it is with!

Chavous pretty much summed up my sexuality. I get turned on by both men and women and think about both when I fantasize while jerking off. I can think about getting a guy's hard dick out of his pants or think about fucking some hot woman's pussy and get equally turned on.

 

[saintedelephant]

I think people are people, but have no desire to be with anyone bi. It's nothing more than a personal choice for me. I have my thoughts on bisexuality, but since I am not bi, thats all they are.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I met a woman once who said she had to ask me the same 3 questions she asked every guy...

Have you ever tried to suck your own cock?
Any guy answering no, she said, was a liar.


I think Bi-sexuality is actually the norm for human males.

Just look at history... thru most of it, in most cultures... women were not all that available because of the paternity/chastity concerns over reproduction...

The result is that when males do not have access to females... males will do fine.


While I do believe some men are wired for full on homosexuality... as this site shows, the majority of straight men are still penis obsessed... who doesn't love their own cock? under the right conditions, with the right person... total annonymity...


My own experience is that I am biologically inclined toward women-- I turn my head to watch them go by...

But I had early experiences that proved to me how much fun male on male sex can be...
Even tho it started as a molestation... I can not deny that I went back for more.

So- no, as much as I can enjoy sex with a guy... I am not a conflicted gay guy...

Just a guy who had his horizons widened and wouldn't have had it any other way.

 

[Nucklez]

Just to throw my two cents in:

I'm bisexual, and none of my friends know it. I don't feel comfortable telling my straight or gay friends, and I don't know of any of them being bi as well ( I only know two other bi's period - and they're both only casual acquaintances). All of my friends that I have talked to seem to have the mindset that "bisexuals are confused," or "can't make up their minds." I understand that it can seem a little confusing, since I know a number of gay people that have used the label 'bisexual' as a slightly less jarring transition point to fully gay. However, some people just are sexually attracted to both genders. Its sad, but I just don't feel like I could express that and have it just be known - I really feel as if my friends would just judge it and pass it off as something else. Its really as if the just can't understand.

I don't see why one's sexuality should go beyond just that: sex. Its not a question of love: phileo, eros, or agape, its just a question of eroticism. Frankly, I don't see why any competent person would factor in someone's genitalia into an intangible emotive response to that person. While sex can be the vehicle of eros (romantic love), I don't see why it has to be tied to it solely. Bisexuals don't confuse love and sex - they more clearly define it. Guys and girls get me hard. Deal with it.

Bisexuality is not the "middle ground" on the sexual slide scale - its a third spoke on a wheel of attraction. Once people accept it as a distinct choice and not just and in-between fence straddle, then we can become a cohesive group as accepted as hetero/homo - sexuality.

 

[kudo451]

Of course there are gays who don't appreciate bi's but to call it discrimination is a reach. We love bi men, I mean we chase them enough! Truth is if you where to really ask the hard questions to gays you would find that they get just as confused over other peoples sexuality as str8s do. The difference is we are not so free to hate-especially given our background. Gay men probably understand gay women the least and I believe the feeling is mutual. Because in the end most people like their own sexuality and unless they are enlightened on a Ghandi level they will always have questions about others not like them.

Of course there is the hard and true fact that many gay men do use bisexuality as a transition to accepting their own homosexuality. Because many people are more likely to accept the transitionality (lol new word!) of being bisexual. Especially when these gay men could otherwise pass for str8 but aren't ready to take that last step mentally.

Truth be told there are also a lot of str8 guys with rough backgrounds that find it easier to define themselves as bi rather than admit that the time they spent sleeping with other men was a mistake in their lives. Especially given that they are more sensitive and open until they narrow down their life choices to what they want to sustain.

The problem I think is that so many people use bisexuality as a transitional issue that they forget that there are some tried and true bisexuals out there. Everyone is looking for that one person and bi's kind of skew that view for the rest of us because they are often looking at both sides of the isle. But when they settle down they don't change. They are still bi.

Me personally I happen to love bisexuals. A person has the right to express their sexuality because who you do does not define who you are in a world with so many challenges. There are a million gay men and women with divorces under their belt who can testify to that. And a million str8 men and women who if everyone really knew what their sexual history was could too.

 

[jackrabbit777]

Ah acceptance. You learn a lot about acceptance when you "come out" and identify yourself as anything but "straight". I'm gay and I have lots of friends of different sexual orientations and identities, doesn't make a lick of difference to me.

Unfortunately, I have noticed some bias in the gay community towards people who identify themselves as anything but 100% gay. If they don't like it, screw 'em (not literally hah). Too many people want to pidgeon hole people into neat little categories and are hung up on "it's either A or B", black and white, X or Y, chocolate or vanilla. Life is so much more interesting with AB, ABC, XYZ, Super Chunky Chocolate, etc... hehehehe.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

I like the quote by the initiator of this thread about people thinking we need to be cured, but we are the cure.

Well said. I tend to agree.

I find women facinating. And I find men facinating.
Sex is pleasurable whether with one set of equipment or the other.

And if you really are enthralled with another human being, then giving them pleasure is the best thing in the world... and who cares what gender they are?


I would not even consider myself Bi-sexual... more like Pan-sexual.


All of life is an experiential orgy-- all of it, even the painful parts, a form of ecstasy when compared to the nothing of the grave.


Excluding women from your realm of attraction, excluding men from your realm of attraction...
its just that, exclusion.
Tribal, divisive, and little more than an excuse to treat other people badly, deny them consideration... or just create an OUT group so you can have an IN group.


The more evolved perspective is to see all people the same... to react to them the same.

 

[playainda336]

I have my thoughts on bisexuality, but since I am not bi, thats all they are.

What are they might I ask?

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

I have met a surprising number of gay men who believe:

1. All straight men are really somewhat bi and want to go on the downlow with a male.
2. All bisexual men are secretly closet gays, or gays "in transition".

Is this selfish thinking, type identification, projection?

There seem to be more misconceptions about bisexuality than homosexuality: I did not choose to be bi; I am not twice as likely to cheat; I am not always in the mood for both men and women; I am not always 50/50; I am not in transition; I am not secretly gay or straight; I am not confused.

 

[aspshortjock]

i think it's selfish thinking. I love bisexuals and think they're perfectly natural. I also think sexuality can change--I was attracted to women at one point (not caused by any confusion or anything), and now for the most part I am not.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I have met a surprising number of gay men who believe:

1. All straight men are really somewhat bi and want to go on the downlow with a male.
2. All bisexual men are secretly closet gays, or gays "in transition".

Is this selfish thinking, type identification, projection?

There seem to be more misconceptions about bisexuality than homosexuality: I did not choose to be bi; I am not twice as likely to cheat; I am not always in the mood for both men and women; I am not always 50/50; I am not in transition; I am not secretly gay or straight; I am not confused.

To be honest I've felt what you express more on this website than in real life. I don't mean to be negative but gay guys on lpsg have made private and public comments about my sexuality on occasion. I don't have a huge number of places where I can talk in an anonymous way about my sexuality, so this is a good place for me to get information and discuss my feelings. I guess I'm TOO occupied with my 10% gay side and not enough with my 90% straight side for some people on this site, so this proves to them that I'm hiding or something. It's true that I'm trying to understand myself especially concerning my attraction and love for some guys and my best friend in particular. I guess I'd prefer a more supportive environment about my exploration rather than the judging that I've received from some gay guys here. Thanks.

 

[D_Tintagel_Demondong]

... I guess I'd prefer a more supportive environment about my exploration rather than the judging that I've received from some gay guys here. Thanks.

I hear you Jon.

I don't want to seem like I'm picking on gay men. It's just that some of them have misconceptions that are wrong, or even dangerous, about straight and bisexual men.

I am sure that some straight men have insisted that lesbians are somewhat bisexual and secretly lusting for their cock. It must be just as annoying for these women to put up with that.

 

[playainda336]

Well said, the lot of you.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

Gay people are just like other people.

We ALL tend toward judgment and seek to find difference. We all look to alienate "others", to pigeonhole folks for the purpose of simplifying the social work of dealing with them...

Easier to manage just 2 or 3 ways of reacting to people with simple sets of applied biases rather than have to actually THINK about them as individuals.


Culture is a form of groupthink... and culture evolves, just like any organism...

I shudder to think of being Gay before Stonewall...just as I shudder to think of being black before King.


King said that the Arc of the moral universe is long... but it bends toward justice.

I hope to see a time when folks can be as they are, and yet still be seen as the same.
"nothing human is strange to me".

 

[danbala]

Trust me we love Bisexual men. It's only when they act superior because the fuck women do they get irritating. Of course a lot of gay guys identify as bisexual because they think it makes them more macho, or because they got drunk and fucked a girl once. My pappi identifies as BI, and I just roll my eyes and smile. His best friend is a hot hot lady, do I feel threatened? Not one bit. I think He just realy likes to sing that song "Jay and Jane." But I have also been with truly Bisexual guys who are great fun, but will always go for the girl for relationship.