Is it weird that I want a husband, but also kids..

7"24

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I'm 25, and just want my vision of a loyal partner, maybe a couple kids. The entire gay scene seems all about sex... Wtf
 

D_ur675t

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a good proportion of the straight scene is the same way. Just need to find the right guy who is ready to settle down. Might have to look for someone older, but dont know your age
 

D_Ida_Ho

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I don't think its weird, then again i'm neither gay nor in the gay scene. Also, you aren't the only gay/bi dude i've seen say this. Which hopefully gives you a little hope maybe?
 

melbbiguy

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When you talk about the 'scene' I imagine your talking about bars, clubs, dance parties....and based on my experience all you will find is mainly guys who want to go out party, have heaps of sex, get drunk, take drugs etc...if your looking at a husband do something like join a social group something like GAY hikers, or 4wd/off road, or gay dance classes, or some gay volunteer organization....or what ever you have an interest in. You are more likely to meet someone who takes life a little more seriously, is obviously not afraid of commiting to something (like a social group or volunteering) and are probably over the whole 'scene'.

Your husband is out there you just need to go looking in the right places.
 

Stephenmass

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Nothing odd about it at all. For most people, gay or straight, it's perfectly natural to want to settle down and have a family.
 

iBottom818

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Not weird at all....I'm gay and working on the same thing, well waiting on kids till after 30 but yeah :biggrin1:

7"24;4826303 said:
I'm 25, and just want my vision of a loyal partner, maybe a couple kids. The entire gay scene seems all about sex... Wtf
 

interestedchap

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When you talk about the 'scene' I imagine your talking about bars, clubs, dance parties....and based on my experience all you will find is mainly guys who want to go out party, have heaps of sex, get drunk, take drugs etc...if your looking at a husband do something like join a social group something like GAY hikers, or 4wd/off road, or gay dance classes, or some gay volunteer organization....or what ever you have an interest in. You are more likely to meet someone who takes life a little more seriously, is obviously not afraid of commiting to something (like a social group or volunteering) and are probably over the whole 'scene'.

Your husband is out there you just need to go looking in the right places.
This ^^^

Even in the "straight scene" I laugh at guys complaining that all the girls they find turn out to be absolute nightmares and definitely not the 'settle down with type', yet if you ask where he got that girl, he'll say at he club.

If you want to meet someone serious, meet them somewhere well you know, a bit serious. This is why I usually date girls I always see at church but barely in the clubs as most often these relationships are amazing and if they should end they won't end with the girl randomly hooking up with another guy in the club but rather amicably.
 

ManchesterTom

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I know of 2 gay "families" who are stable and have children. They are an example to all of their friends, that it is possible to have well balanced children within a gay domestic situation.
 

ISV_9

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Not weird at all bro, in fact adding my desire for the same thing would make two guys with the same interest replying to the post and three total including you. Oh, I'm 25 as well. Also By far the best advice I've heard on this to date,lol, thanks @Melbbiguy.


When you talk about the 'scene' I imagine your talking about bars, clubs, dance parties....and based on my experience all you will find is mainly guys who want to go out party, have heaps of sex, get drunk, take drugs etc...if your looking at a husband do something like join a social group something like GAY hikers, or 4wd/off road, or gay dance classes, or some gay volunteer organization....or what ever you have an interest in. You are more likely to meet someone who takes life a little more seriously, is obviously not afraid of commiting to something (like a social group or volunteering) and are probably over the whole 'scene'.

Your husband is out there you just need to go looking in the right places.
 

pcghabsy

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Yes, very normal indeed. The desire for a family has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

As others have pointed out, the same applies for the straight scene. Most people are out for sex and dating, finding a life partner is always requires effort and luck.
 

catman

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be the change, be the 'exception to the rule' start a trend.

I have long suspected that the 'non bar scene' people don't get all the media attention and photos (how "boring" would it be to see pictures of people at home playing Chutes and Ladders with their kids? or doing homework, cutting grass, etc...) the attention whores dancing on bars, drunk, screwing in alleys tend to get the attention and focus.

I have kids, I would much rather spend time doing something (much more) fun with them...granted once in awhile I do go out with friends, get that urge to relax with the grownups....but an evening with my grandson? that wins hands down over going to a bar.

I suspect you might just be at a different maturity level- let them compare themselves to YOU, not the other way around.
 

erratic

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Of course that's not weird. Why would it be weird? It's not what we're sold on as the gay lifestyle in the West, as many have pointed out, but fuck that noise. It works for some guys, sure, but it doesn't for just as many.

I'm with you, man. I want (and, luckily, I have) a loyal, monogamous partner. We have a lot of fun and are planning on raising children. The scene doesn't work for us, and we've never really been part of it. We both know lots of people who feel more or less the same way - some like a bit of the scene, some hate it, some don't want to do the whole kids thing, some are already doing it.

Live your life the way you want to. No one ever laid on their death bed thinking "if only I'd lived inauthentically and not done any of the things that mean the most to me..."
 

FuzzyKen

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OK, Gay, adopted Son, Life Partner, 14-years, average normal life here. Do what the heck you want to do, don't think of marching to anyone else's drum, march to your own, there are a number of other gay men out there who feel just like you do.