Is it weird??

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by FSUnole2k9, Sep 7, 2010.

  1. FSUnole2k9

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    Well, I'm not sure if this is the right place to post this but it does have deal with relationships. So....my question to you all is---

    Is it weird that I really want to have sex with a guy like every minute of the day and I have been wanting this for quite some time now. I've never been like incredibly horny even through puberty I would jerk off and all that but never have I been physically and mentally horny as I am now. Yet, I just can't see myself going out and having sex with a random guy/stranger. I've tried many times I've gotten right up to the guy's home and left. I just couldn't do it. My self-conscious in some sense gets in the way. I would have to many emotions running through my head and I would feel some sense of connection with the guy after having sex with him. To me, having a sex with someone is more of a physical and emotional connection and that's what it should be in my opinion and not just a random fuck. So I'm a bit torn here because I want to have sex and really have a lot of it, but my conscious and semi-conscious won't let me. I start second guessing, and self-doubting, and saying what if this and that to a point where I end up leaving.

    It's almost as if the internal me wants to develop a relationship with someone and then have sex while my external me wants to have sex right this minute and every day and night.

    Confused here.....
     
  2. Bbucko

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    This was never an issue for me, because, right after my first guy (whom I ended up selecting by default, essentially, rather than any emotional connection), I started having completely anonymous sex almost immediately. I didn't really start a serious relationship until after about six months of exploration and play.

    But what you're going through isn't "weird", precisely so much as self-induced stress. Are you really so isolated that finding someone who'll date and explore you personally prior to sex is that difficult to find? Or is it that you don't feel ready for a commitment so therefore abstain from sex completely?

    Just for the record: are you still a virgin? How many guys have you been physically intimate with?
     
  3. FSUnole2k9

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    Thanks Bbucko for responding--
    I think that it might be a case in some sense of where you started off at where you had sex with a guy and from that point forward you just started having sex with anonymous guys afterward.

    No, I'm not isolated at all my friends say that I'm just too picky which may be one issue, but I think it's that the guys around my area I don't find attractive and the ones I do are straight(go figure). I'm ready for a commitment so that's not an issue.
    I've had guys to offer to meet up for sex before but I would rather meet up and get to the know them before we have sex. And to answer your question yes I'm a virgin.
     
  4. Bbucko

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    Your status as a virgin really clarifies everything for me, now.

    I was the very last of my circle of friends to lose his virginity, but the late 70s were a very different time from now, at least from a risk perspective. At first I wanted to make sure that I was emotionally ready (I had been sexually abused as an adolescent), then got really picky, then just got desperate and went with an obviously interested older man (I was 17, he was ~45) from work.

    It was incredibly anticlimactic (not just because I didn't cum :wink:) and felt like I was really ready more fun than a serious commitment.

    FWIW, I started a thread a while back called Criteria, Preferences and Limits that really explored a lot of different types of approach to expressing one's sexuality from a nice cross-section of the board. As a mental exercise, it might be interesting if you peruse it even if you don't actually respond to it. Sometimes thinking this kind of thing through can be quite enlightening.

    ETA: Oops! I see you responded in that thread already :redface: My bad...

    Some times picky is a good thing, some times it's a tool in avoidance; if you're not ready emotionally for sex, then this avoidance isn't such a bad thing. Only you should make such a choice for yourself.
     
    #4 Bbucko, Sep 7, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 7, 2010
  5. FSUnole2k9

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    yeah I'm really picky about the guys I'm interested in. I have certain criteria that I did list on your topic you posted. I just wonder if me being so picky is causing me to limit myself too much. And in doing so am I just prohibiting myself from every being sexual with a guy? I over think things way to much and I blame that on myself(conscience). It's just something I've been working out with myself I thought I would get everyone's opinion.
    Thanks.
     
  6. badgirl22

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    I can only answer as a heterosexual woman but in my opinion, for what it's worth, it's not weird at all - especially for the first time. I don't know too many people who went and lost their virginity to basically a one night stand. The first time usually has some sort of meaning for the person and you should be picky.

    You will meet the right person at the right time. How you conduct your horny self after that....we'll just have to wait and see what you write!

    Good luck, hope your prince comes along soon.
     
  7. B_Tonnie

    B_Tonnie New Member

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    Hey Man, No, I Don't Think It's Weird At All, I know where you are coming from, I am also very wary of the 'random pick-ups', in truth, I have had half a dozen over the past four years, but I have had the offer of quite a few more, but have backed out, or to put it bluntly, ''been too chicken-shit scared to go through with it'' I just can't seem to get my head round it, no not that head. I read a very good article in Penthouse a few year's ago titled ''Beyond The Zip-Less Fuck'' and I could really relate to it. it dealt with the topic of people who had grown sick and tired of one night stands, sex, just for the sake of sex. If for you, it's your first time man, personally i'd say no, don't go for a random hook-up, it is supposed to be 'special', get to know the guy a little, ease your way into it, let him know it's your first time, I'd be willing to wager, that if he knew this was the biggy for you, he'd do all he could to make it memorable. The choice is your's dude, I wish you luck. Let us know how you get on. lol Tonnie.
     
  8. HiddenLacey

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    I don't think it's weird at all. Personally I think it's more special when you're close to the person you are going to be intimate with. I just think looking into someones eyes that you love/ care about vs a stranger makes it better.

    Wanting to have sex is very natural. Stopping when you're not comfortable is good in my opinion. You're less likely to get hurt afterward if you go in knowing what to expect. I would pick a partner over a one night stand in a heartbeat, which is why like you, I would always pull back from those type of situations.

    You have to find your comfort zone. Goodluck!
     
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