It's an act of distrust that could ruin or permanently change your relationship for the worse, but it's not "wrong" per se. The sick irony is that a prenup could destroy your relationship, when you might have otherwise been happy together and you might not have broken up, because negotiating one together is an exercise in discovering how paranoid your partner is about you, your motivations, and what you're capable of doing to him/her, and that can cause a lot of resentment and hurt feelings that are hard to forget. That's the problem with planning your breakup right when you're supposed to be anticipating your happy life together.
The idea of one is theoretically perfect, you're proving that you're marrying for love. The reality is that you find out that your partner doesn't think very much of you, and your positive and romantic feelings about each other are permanently altered, possibly irreparably. You might as well just not get married, which is what I actually recommend if you feel like you need one.
The idea of one is theoretically perfect, you're proving that you're marrying for love. The reality is that you find out that your partner doesn't think very much of you, and your positive and romantic feelings about each other are permanently altered, possibly irreparably. You might as well just not get married, which is what I actually recommend if you feel like you need one.
what about owning half some ones things makes you love them any more or less? by that arguement wouldn't it ALSO be JUST as romantic to sign away everything to prove your faith in eachother?
It's an act of distrust that could ruin or permanently change your relationship for the worse, but it's not "wrong" per se. The sick irony is that a prenup could destroy your relationship, when you might have otherwise been happy together and you might not have broken up, because negotiating one together is an exercise in discovering how paranoid your partner is about you, your motivations, and what you're capable of doing to him/her, and that can cause a lot of resentment and hurt feelings that are hard to forget. That's the problem with planning your breakup right when you're supposed to be anticipating your happy life together.
The idea of one is theoretically perfect, you're proving that you're marrying for love. The reality is that you find out that your partner doesn't think very much of you, and your positive and romantic feelings about each other are permanently altered, possibly irreparably. You might as well just not get married, which is what I actually recommend if you feel like you need one.
I don't think that you read my post, or you misread it, or maybe you just don't understand what happens when you decide to get one?
You're talking about a fantasy land where a prenup magically appears before you and you simply choose to sign or not. The idea is perfect, you choose to sign it and prove that you're marrying for love, and it would be perfect if that's how it happened. There are prenuptial advocacy groups that are working on making that possible, because the reality is much different. In reality, the process is brutal to a romantic relationships and can be relationship destroying. Hence the irony that asking for one might mean that you should just call off the wedding right away and not even bother.
Again, if you feel like you need one, just don't get married. Your relationship has a better chance of survival IMO.
if things can destroy it how is it romantic? i didn't misread anything, the fantasy land isn't one where you sign a piece of paper that says whats yours is yours mine is mine THAT is reality, fantasy land is where people don't change, grow, fall out of love or die leaving family issues to deal with and so on and so on. people runn off, they fall out of love, they die..... all relationships end if its really love then you can face that together.... cause STUFF doesn't matter dose it?
What are you talking about? I don't think we're having the same conversation.
we are its just weird cause I'm not agreeing with you for no reason.
a prenup is nothing more than a contract that states in the event of the marriage dissolving, exactly what property belongs to who. its like putting an air bag in a car you built, the thought of wrecking it is unthinkable but you have no idea what is around the corner and if you have "faith" in the relationship signing a life long separate accounts agreement isn't a big deal if you're gonna be together. the only reason it should be devastating is if you're just as worried as he is and are afraid he's gonna leave you in the cold. thats not very romantic trusting or faithful at ALL
I'd rather remain single since that also solves the problem without having to get a prenup. It's the same end result.
as usual when you put down the dukes and say whats really on your mind we are in TOTAL agreement, the first point i made was why dose giving some one half your things make you love them more? and its not just men that get buttfucked in divorce, Madonna, liz taylor, kristy alley. marriage is legal it takes place in a church, where the law is supposed to not exist, its all one big scham. see how great minds think alike.....
What are you talking about? I think you need to go back and read my posts. I said that in theory prenups are perfect, it's the reality of them that doesn't work and then I explained the reason why, which I've done over and over again.
Wait, are you making this out to be a man/woman thing? Is that why you're attacking me, because I'm female?