Is it you or is it him?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Lordpendragon, Jan 13, 2007.

  1. Lordpendragon

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    One sees many posts saying I don't come from oral or I don't come from penetration.

    Is it just the way you are physically and emotionally/psychologically or is it him, his technique and build or the way he makes you feel compared to other lovers you may have had?
     
  2. kalipygian

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    If I'm not turned on by the person, nothing they do is physically going to accomplish anything.
     
  3. SassySpy

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    I feel the same way. Some have taken it as a challenge, but needn't bother. I havent had it done, but am certain I could be tied up, and no physical ministrations of any man I dont feel anything for will get a physical reaction from me. well not a positive one anyway.
    I dont speak for any but myself when I say there has to be an emotional or mental or both. attraction- my orgasms are spurred on as much by the powers of my mind as by the powers of his sexuality. And thats primarily why cock size isnt an issue to me, but being a good lover, nice guy, and generally good humored person are far more important to me. Sure I can have my shallow superficial dirty naughty hot sex and nothing but raw sex fantasies when I masturbate, but I like the person Im with so its not a problem.:wink:
    the other side of that coin however, is that having the vivid imagination that I do, I can and have, exaggerated someone s qualities in order to feel enough for him in order to get to the sex part. Its never quite as fulfilling, and the inevitable 'drift apart we've nothing in common' let down soon follows- so Ive quit all that now and would rather have some really mind blowing sex with someone I genuinely like (or more who knows?) than the lukewarm sex I have with someone with whom I have no intimacy.:smile:
     
  4. Bacchusbigboy

    Bacchusbigboy New Member

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    I use to love giving down on my x-wife and yet she didn’t do anything for her and I can assure you I asked and tried everything. She could organism sometimes with a bit of light simulation and she just adored doggy style using a vibrator at the same style. It was truly heaven.
     
  5. RoyalT

    RoyalT New Member

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    No, I come from England! :tongue:

    Anyone who can't cum from oral or penetration alone just hasn't run into me, or had me *ram* into them. Hehe.
     
  6. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I orgasm from oral or penetration..

    Im just not a fan of oral and i think that beacuse im not comfortable with myself. Nothing to do with the guys or their technique but it takes me along time to feel comfortable having them go down on me..penetration however has never been a problem
     
  7. Lordpendragon

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    That's why we're a support group :wink:
     
  8. Ethyl

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    If a man is having difficulty finding my clitoris, I will provide him a guided tour of my netherregion, so if I can't come from oral it's because he's either not paying attention to the guide or he's lazy. I've had a couple lovers who admitted they didn't like oral sex, so even after I taught them what I needed. they did it only half-heartedly which as we all know just won't do for a decent orgasm.
     
  9. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    I have the same problem with the not being comfortable with myself.. it took one guy a year of talking to me on the net to be comfortable with me fucking him, and him assuring me that I'd love oral. He was good, but I think I'm on the frigid side.. I need tons and tons of pressure placed on my clit to orgasm... so penetration and oral just don't cut it.
     
  10. Rihanna

    Rihanna New Member

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    They say "it takes two to tango." So, to be fair I'll say it has to do with chemistry first. And then the other stuff.
     
  11. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I have no problem with my clit, it is very sensitive and if he or i uses fingers or toys i orgasm quickly but i have an issue with them being so close to me. I naturally have a tendency to keep people at a distance and letting a man put his head between my legs is a little tough to deal with so i never fully relax. When i am comfortable with them i love oral, it just takes a while to get to that stage
     
  12. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    I learned to have an orgasm from oral when I was in my late 20s. After learning how to do so, it basically became a matter of his technique.

    Some people are just gifted orally. For me, it has nothing to do with how much I care for him or a relationship. It has solely to do with technique. I have had long term relationships with men that I truly cared for but I did not or rarely had an oral orgasm.

    However, if a lover truly cares about orally satisfying me or he is a very oral person but just needs to learn what it takes to get me or orgasm, we will eventually work it out. In that case, I would say that it is more a desire to please than technique.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  13. Love-it

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    I agree. With all our problems with penetration, we have never had a problem with my wife orgasming from oral sex, I know that my technique has improved over the years but my level of enthusiasm is as great as the first time I went down on her (and I never had a chance to practice with anyone else), she readily orgasms and I can control the pace somewhat depending on tenderness, frequency, intensity and/or style.
     
  14. Naturall

    Naturall New Member

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    I like it when a woman is able to cum from both oral and penetration. It is great when a woman can cum from penetration alone whithout the help of manual stimulation. <---It makes me feel good about myself.
     
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