Is J/O with another guy cheating?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by lilguy11, Nov 17, 2010.

  1. lilguy11

    lilguy11 Member

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    I'm with someone and I know he doesn't mess around. He is in his fifties and I am in my twenties. I like older men, but feel like I want more experience. This would upset him if he knew I felt this way. He is a very nice guy and I love him a lot.

    But sometimes I want to be with other guys. I have only jerked off with a few, one time only deals, no kissing, not much cock touching, mainly jerked off. Tonight I did with a guy who had a big thick cock...it was fun, but I don't know if I should feel guilty about it......

    any advice?
     
  2. eargnai

    eargnai Member

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    jerking off is not cheating, its just another wank
     
  3. Sugarylizzie

    Sugarylizzie New Member

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    I think that it is normal to want different experiences. Hell that is what living is. A series of experiences that shape a person. And I feel the same way about wanting new and different things too. Isn't that human?
    But if you feel bad, than it may not be good for you. Especially if you think it would hurt your lover. Be honest with him and yourself. Maybe you two could come to an agreement regarding certain arrangements for you. If not you need to decide which is more imortant. Best of luck hun.
     
  4. AlteredEgo

    Gold Member

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    What does your significant other think? Whatever you can agree upon is the correct answer.
     
  5. DavidXL

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    I don't think j/o without touching the other guy is that bad on the cheating meter, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. But, once you start touching, it's a slippery slope to more. So, if you're going to do this, I'd advise having a "no touch" policy.
     
  6. SyddyKitty

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    In my book, yes. Doesn't matter if you didn't touch - mutual sexual activity.

    Also, if you -know- it would upset him, you've answered the question yourself.
     
  7. jerryhall

    jerryhall New Member

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    The best thing to do is talk to your partner about it. If you want more experience, that is 100% normal, he may even feel the same way, except when a guy is older that feeling usually isn't as strong.

    He will respect you more if you tell him, rather than try to prevent from hurting his feelings by doing things you need to feel guilty about. That just puts up walls between you two.

    Deal with it before you go too far with someone else and then really mess up the relationship and destroy the level of mutual trust and respect.
     
  8. NSX57

    NSX57 Member

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    Could not be said better.
     
  9. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    If you try to hide what you are doing the fact that you are doing this will likely cause more upset then the act it self. You should talk to your partner and discuss the boundaries you have in place - if mutual masturbation is not something you agree is allowed then you should make a decision based on your feelings and respect for him.

    We can tell you our personal feelings on the matter but none of us are in your relationship.
     
  10. sjcgymrat

    Verified Gold Member

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    You have to talk to him about what you want or need. The worst thing would be to let it linger in the background until he figures it out for himself. He was twenty something once too. He might understand. You can start the conversation perhaps by asking what his fantasy is.
     
  11. canon

    canon Active Member

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    You say you are "with" him and you love him a lot...right? If you have made a commitment to him and he believes that it is an exclusive relationship then you may be taking a risk. If you found out that he was playing around with another guy how would you feel? If you can't keep a commitment to him then you need to discuss it with him. If you don't and he finds out from someone else, and he eventually will, then the shit will hit the fan. Do you want to lose him?
     
  12. hung

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    Open and honest communication always serves everyone best. Talk about it and see how he reacts.

    Wanking is fun and can be enjoyed by all age groups, but you must remain within your own value system.
     
  13. erratic

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    If you're worried about what he's going to think about you jacking off with other guys then the only person whose opinion matters here is his. Is it cheating? Ask him.
     
  14. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    If you can't talk to him about it, it's cheating.
     
  15. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    Such a great reply.
     
  16. D_Eric Banana

    D_Eric Banana New Member

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    I don't see it as cheating...
     
  17. Bbucko

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    I agree. If you feel as though you need to hide something from your SO then it's cheating. It's really that simple.
     
  18. tgirlsrgreat

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    sure it is
     
  19. B_Noctem

    B_Noctem New Member

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    Yes, it is cheating, even if there's no touching involved. Willingly showing your erect cock to another person and cumming constitutes a form of cheating. I would not tolerate this from my lover/boyfriend/companion.
     
  20. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    Bill Clinton "did not have sex with "that woman" " because it was just a blow job. Frankly, although I don't give a shit, I think he did.

    I once had a lover who told me he'd "not cheated" on me because he hadn't come. I said, "Were you two naked? Were you hard? Were you jerking off and touching each other and getting off on it? Then you cheated. The fact that you were too drunk to come doesn't really matter to me."

    I believe you and your bf need to explore these issues. The fact that you are significantly younger and have less experience is something that will probably have to be dealt with. Hopefully, the two of you can incorporate that into your relationship. Together.
     
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