Is manipulation the key?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    In my circle of friends (and most women) ive noticed there are 2 types of women when it comes to how we act/re-act towards men when in a relationship

    1. The woman who isn't afraid to voice her disapproval. Telling the man he is an asshole if he has forgotten a special occasion and telling him he had better find a way of correcting it. Or even telling him a occasion is approaching and that he had better organise something

    2. And the women i like to refer to as "the manipulators". If something doesn't go their way they wont voice their issue but instead will cry, sulk, with hold intimacy etc untill their man gives in and they get their way. These women are also great liars (bending the truth) and will say whatever they need to to make sure at the end of the day they dont put themselves in a negative light


    I am quite proud to consider myself in the first catagory even though this often gets me referred to as a bitch or demanding, however thats just me and id rather be a bitch then have my issues go unheard and play games.

    Thing is i have come to realize that most of my friend that have stayed in long term relationship fall into the catagory of manipulators. This is beyond me as i thought men were smarter then to fall for the crying routine. And i thought women were now stronger and were confident in having a say and an opinion.


    Do we still live in a society where women aren't supposed to voice their disapproval and are better off playing the victim?
     
  2. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    ugh.. can't we have a #3 on that list? Someone who's just easy to get along with, not high maintenance, and able to communicate without being a bitch or manipulative, deceitful, and passive aggressive?
     
  3. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Totally agree. Men and women are different as simple as that. How about if you think he will forget an anniversary you ask him a couple of days before what the celebration plans are?

    Marriage is supposed to be a partnership where you accept and support each other. We all have strengths and weakness. Just accept that.

    Far better to remind than look for an excuse to be an absolute bitch about it. Would you rather have a great celebration or take delight spoiling it for both of you?

    Some people love an excuse to score points and be aggressive. :rolleyes:
     
  4. SpoiledPrincess

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    Some women choose to be a little manipulative because if we took the first route we'd spend 24/7 whining and telling our blokes they were being arseholes.
     
  5. Blocko

    Blocko Member

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    Yeah, I agree, add type 3:
    Women who sort out problems with their partners in an emotionally mature way.

    You don't have to yell, you don't have to manipulate. You have to use those much revered "communication skills" everyone is always claiming to have.

    If you're not with a man who you're able to sort out problems with in an emotionally mature way, maybe it's time to take responsibility and find an emotionally mature man. Don't tell me they don't exist, because I know plenty of them.
     
  6. Principessa

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    I hate to abandon my girls; but I fall into category 3. My mom was and is manipulative (#2) she uses tears to get her way etc. It annoyed me when I was 7 and it annoys me now. I don't do that, never have.

    I have married girlfriends who seem to have used #1 a lot; and while for some crazy reason that tactic got them a decent husband. In the long run it didn't get them happily married.:frown1:

     
  7. tripod

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    My most recent ex is in the first category... she also stays single and doesn't deal with men's bullshit very well at all... very outspoken... extremely defensive. I HATED it at first and we had some hellacious fights due to her always pushing my buttons. It took me a few years, but I got the hang of it... my attitude improved, my social skills increased... it was a win-win situation as far as I was concerned (we are still BEST friends).

    Those types of women are the ONLY way to go!!!!!

    They are the "New School" of women, you should be proud to be in that group Lee.

    The manipulators get WAY more off of a man than the women that "keep it real". They are like spiders who weave their web slowly around their paralyzed victims.

    These women are "old school" and are not worth a SHIT... always scheming and "acting out" in order to prove their point or get their way.

    It's all about how you were raised as a child... show me any twelve year old girl and I should be able to put her in one of these categories just from some simple observation of the dynamic between them and their parents.

    Oh, and the manipulative type ultimately takes much more effort and energy. You have to become quite the thespian with all of the acting out and emoting one has to do in order to get people to do what you want them to do... the manipulators are actual CONTROL FREAKS with a soft edge... sick in the head if you ask me!!!!!
     
  8. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Thank you, finally someone who agrees :biggrin1:

    I just dont see why some women need all the tears and theatrics to feel the need to get their way when all they need is a bit of self strength to get their point across, even if it does lead to an argument and them possibly looking bad.

    Isnt it just easier to have it out and get it over with and passed rather then carry on manipulating your man and the situation?
     
  9. Aitch

    Aitch New Member

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    Cat 1 for me but then I'm too lazy/life's too short to do all that manipulation rubbish!
     
  10. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    My point is (that i probably worded too bluntly) is that i would rather tell him that im not happy with the situation and how he has dealt with it rather then drop hints, cry etc and HOPE he does something about it. Also works in reverse, if i have done something he isnt happy about then i expect he would have the balls to tell me forthright and not mope about being pissed off at me.
     
  11. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    That does sound a lot better than "telling him he's an asshole for forgetting a special occasion."

    :rolleyes:the latter does sound a little bitchy and demanding. It could be the way you worded it, but you also said people refer to you this way. Could it be you also see yourself this way? If you did not, it seems like you would have used the less blunt wording above from the get-go.

    Otherwise... you're implying someone is unquestionably an "asshole" simply for having different priorities than you do.

    Are you automatically adversarial and on the attack when you bring these little things to your man's attention? Do you ever take responsibility for your own feelings?
     
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