Is my best friend gay?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by caine, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. caine

    caine New Member

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    My friend and I are both 25 yr old males. We've known each other since we were little... He's always known I've been bigger than average (8x6), but it's never been a big deal until lately. He's been depressed for a little while and has told me that the meds he takes make it difficult for him to perform. One time when we were all together he made a reference to my size but I don't think his wife caught it. However apparently he has mentioned to his wife several times about my size, and has even hinted to her that he would be okay with us "hooking up". I am fairly close with his wife as well since I was the best man at their wedding. I know he has brought it up to her because she told me. It was a strange conversation and I don't really know what to make of what she said. She seemed interested but also hesitant (naturally). It felt like she was flirting a little and I had to restrain myself from taking advantage of the moment.

    Anyhow, I wonder if he may have some gay feelings for me because I think it is odd that he has been mentioning my penis to his wife, apparently more than once. I'm not angry about it, I just wonder what's going on.

    Options are either to let it go, talk to him about it, or perhaps pursue the sexual connection with his wife (who I am attracted to). Am I right to assume this last option would be a bad idea-- I think I know the answer to that :)

    Any thought would be welcome. Thanks
     
  2. JacobFox

    JacobFox Member

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    Can't really give you advice on what to do, but nothing you said leads me to believe that your friend is gay. He may simply have a fantasy to see his wife with a bigger than average guy. I've had lots of straight friends who have made comments about their other friends' sizes before.

    Perhaps he feels bad because the meds are hindering his performance and would like to see his wife have a nice time like that.

    Not sure what the motives are, but nothing you said makes me think he is gay.
     
  3. SparkyNYC

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    ask him, I doubt it if he's married and all, but whatever.....if u r friends the bigger issue is keeping secrets from each other.
     
  4. MrToolhung

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    From what you have stated I did not see anything that would indicate that he is gay. Sounds more like he wants his wife to be pleasured by you because he is not able to do so. Better you then some stranger!
     
  5. buzzrider7

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    Another vote for just talking to him. If you've been friends since youth, I'd think you'd be comfortable talking about pretty much anything at this point, no? Maybe start by just letting him explain his actions, not by "accusing" him of being gay. (In any case, I agree with the above that it sounds more just like he's looking to have you please his wife since he thinks you can do a much better job than he can. What are best friends for, right?)
     
  6. caine

    caine New Member

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    ha... hadn't thought of it that way. I've always assumed fucking your best friend's wife was strictly off-limits.
     
  7. coastalboy07

    coastalboy07 New Member

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    This actually sounds like it.

    He is talking you up to his wife.. which would sound like he wants to get her interested.

    Careful with the motives behind that though... divorce/void pre nup. (thoughts because you said he has been depressed).. he might be trying to get out of the marriage
     
  8. caine

    caine New Member

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    Thanks all. It's a confusing situation for me, but this helps. I can't think of a scenario where starting a sexual relationship with Amy (his wife) could work out, though I have to admit my mind has been going into overdrive thinking about her the last few days. I have felt a little guilty for that. I am single right now, btw.
     
  9. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    I wouldn't go there untill he is out of his depression..

    He might have been feeling incompetent for awhile and projected his feelings of inadequacy onto his own penis size and-or performance.

    When we are depressed we can say stupid things to relieve ourselves from the hurt we are in. If you are a true friend..don't just lust over his wife..talk to him.

    And dont act on anything untill he's in good spirits again..let's see if in that state of mind he still believes that you should fuck his wife..

    And yes his wife is open to it..probably she has been suffering from his failure to perform for quite some time or is just bored and has secretly had a bit of a soft spot for you all of this time.

    But the timing just doesnt feel right to me.. Could be opening up a can of worms with this one..

    Talk to him..be brutally honest. And also discuss the cold hard truth when his wife actually enjoys having sex with you...what happens if she would enjoy it more than with him???
     
  10. caine

    caine New Member

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    Good points... the timing doesn't feel good. But he actually hasn't been feeling that bad lately. The medication has worked he says, apart from the unfortunate side effects. I don't think he plans on going off the drugs because he's actually pulled himself out of a hole in some ways.

    Perhaps I was too quick to think he was lusting after me... maybe he does want to set us up. The last point you bring up is a great one though. I fear that once we started it would be very hard to just stop completely. I am also afraid because I feel like just from that conversation I had with Amy a "wall" of sorts has broken down and it is hard for me not to think about her like that.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    I also don't think he's gay. There is a possibility that he may be a bit more bi than you know though. Serious question, how far would you let yourself go with your 10%? Would that freak you out?
     
  12. caine

    caine New Member

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    I don't think that's what he's proposing... not sure, I may be open to it. I don't feel a desire to do it at this point and from the sound of it he's not really "performing" at this time anyway.
     
  13. rbkwp

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    Agree with Country
    Seems as tho you should review your % of gayness
    be carefull you dont use your friend as an excuse for your own hidden feelings is my thought
    All the Best matey, dont tread on your friends toes, tho
    enz

    we alre all allowed to be naturally curious huh?
     
  14. caine

    caine New Member

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    to rbk: Well, I hear you, good thoughts...

    Honestly I don't think that's in the cards. However I am scared because my mind has been going crazy with thoughts about Amy. As I said, I feel like a damn of some kind has burst and I feel embarrassed because I thought I had more self control than this.
     
  15. rbkwp

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    I should have said 'inadvertently' use your friend, sorry
    anyway i do feel your capable of sorting things out for the best for ALL 3 of yous going by the feedback you generously respond with.
    Perhaps you may want to rid yourself of all things sexual' and concentrate on maintaining a fair & decent friendship, with your now married friend.
    Your not a substitute male stand in, surely it would only end in trouble and a possible break up of a close friendship if pursued sexually
    again Wish you the BEST matey, your first experience with the vagaries of human relationships is it?
    enz

    I wont be responding forthwith btw, off to a funeral fyi
     
  16. acc90630

    acc90630 Member

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    does his dick task like shit?
     
  17. Bw51102

    Bw51102 Member

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    Maybe he just wants to see it up close for him self or compare... wouldn't be the first time a friend was interested...
     
  18. caine

    caine New Member

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    So I did bring it up casually while we were playing basketball the other day and he pretty much denied having made the comments to his wife. He did mention that it's frustrating not being able to perform and that has been something they have discussed. I thought that was really honest of him to talk about and we just left it there.

    That's it for now. I still feel weird about the whole thing and am having a difficult time restraining my desire, been replaying that convo with Amy a lot in my head.
     
  19. cockaddictedboy

    cockaddictedboy New Member

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    3some is the solution ;)

    let him play with your cock...it's obvious that he envies your size and wants to know how a big cock feels. he wants to see you in action.
     
  20. DQSundae

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    I'm thinking if he is your friend and he's depressed, you should just be his friend. Ignore the big dick talk and don't screw his wife. If you care at all for him, leave it alone. Don't throw him away for a piece of ass.
     
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