Is my boyfriend into me?

MartianMeow

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Hey everyone! So I've been having this problem for a while now, and it's really bothering me. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we love each other. I am 19 and he is 22. I am in pretty nice shape too. We have a healthy relationship, and he loves getting handjobs and blow jobs... but he wont/doesn't like to give them back. I've asked him about it many times early on in the relationship, and he said that he just doesnt like penises. He will touch any other part of me, just not my penis (or my butt. he thinks anal sex is gross, so thats out too). I know he's gay, because my muscles can instantly give him an erection and turn him on. But it really bothers me that he won't satisfy my needs for him on my privates! He says that I don't have to give him blow jobs because he doesn't like to, but thats not the point either. I LIKE penises. I LIKE touching them.

So, should I be worried? Am I being selfish? I know it's wrong, but I've been considering finding sex elsewhere behind his back. I'm young. I feel like I shouldn't have to beg my boyfriend to touch my penis. My boyfriend should WANT to do all of that without me even asking! He should want to rip off my clothes at every moment, like I do to him!

There it is, so please help me out guys. What should I do? If you need me to explain more, I'd be more than happy too.
 

theplayerking

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So, should I be worried? Am I being selfish? I know it's wrong, but I've been considering finding sex elsewhere behind his back. I'm young. I feel like I shouldn't have to beg my boyfriend to touch my penis. My boyfriend should WANT to do all of that without me even asking! He should want to rip off my clothes at every moment, like I do to him!

Yikes. Sorry to hear that. By the way, this is not about “sex drive,” but something else. There have been a few posts recently about young gay men uninterested in sex at all.

You’ve done the right thing in talking to him about it. For me, personally, unless I had an extraordinary intellectual connection with the person, it would be a deal breaker—especially if I were 19.

I wouldn’t have sex behind his back. That will create more problems than it solves. It might just be time to move on and try someone new.
 

freyfrey

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I'm a bottom and very discreet and I don't like getting blow jobs, that's why I tend to go for pure tops. I think you shouldn't go behind his back. Tell him what you want and if he still doesn't want to, then tell him find somebody else, I mean you've been together for like a year and WTF, he thinks anal sex is gross??
 

jjpooks

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go out and have some fun... ur 19, u shouldn't be restricted on what you want to do. ur absolutely right, he should enjoy you the way you want to be appreciated. enjoy looking love somewhere else, you could do better.
 

dude_007

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Let him know your true feelings. Tell him how you feel and then it is up to him to change how he pleasures you or if not then you are free to move on. Be true to yourself, you deserve it.

And I find it highly suspect that a gay guy finds both penis and ass gross. Something wrong with that picture.
 
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K.Dst

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I want to bottom for him, but he thinks anal sex is extremely gross

If we're taking the problem very litterally, he appears to never actually be into you :biggrin1:

Some guys just don't like anal, that's just the way it is. I remebered straight guys being baffled when there was a poll were guys in couple were asked if they practiced anal sex, and that in one couple out of five there was no anal sex involved (the usual remarks were "How can you be in couple without penetration?", probably by guys who never heard of non-porn lesbians...), it isn't linked to attraction for the other guy, you just gotta think about all thoses dude who practice anal sex with guys they're not really into...
It's linked to what you like or not. It's as simple as that.

If you really can't stand the fact that being in couple with this guy means no buttsex, maybe you're the one who's not really into him...
 

kiltiesf

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I'm sorry that you're in what appears to be a one-sided relationship. Relationships are about give and take and reciprocation. It seems in your case, you give, he takes and there is no reciprocation. I don't know if he's a closeted gay, who's too emotionally traumatized to allow himself the freedom to enjoy sex with another man, but I do know that he isn't be fair to you.

Personally, I think you could do better. If this were me, I would end this fallacy of a "relationship" and go and find someone who would truly appreciates ALL of you, physically, emotionally, and will allow for a mutally fullfilling sexual relationship without the hang ups. You deserve to be with someone who open to mutual exploration and adoration.

Just my two-cents - Kiltiesf
 

sexplease

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So, should I be worried? No. Worrying dosen't solve anything.

Am I being selfish? No.

I know it's wrong, but I've been considering finding sex elsewhere behind his back. Talk about monogamy and your needs. Then come to an agreement about seeking sexual gratification in or outside of your relationship.

I'm young. I feel like I shouldn't have to beg my boyfriend to touch my penis.
Maybe he has anal retentive issues. That's his psyche, not yours to deal with.

My boyfriend should WANT to do all of that without me even asking! He should want to rip off my clothes at every moment, like I do to him! This may be not what he wants. Nothing wrong with that.

There it is, so please help me out guys. What should I do? If you need me to explain more, I'd be more than happy too.

I think you two need to spend more time talking and listening and learning about each other. Sex and physical intimacy is an important facet of relationships, but more so are love and friendship.
 

rbkwp

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So, should I be worried? Am I being selfish? I know it's wrong, but I've been considering finding sex elsewhere behind his back. I'm young.




your being on site for a year adds a form of legitimacy so geuss can put some thought into an opinion?


Think he may well be into you Matey
dont think you really need to be worried (been a year?) and your certainly not selfish
Think
you really really need to work on convincing him, its a part of a relationship, that the partners sexual needs are to be attended to also.
Dont consider going behind his back, but tell him upfront, you may have to ..
put the pressure on him to oblige you, me thinks

Perhaps you should have been working on this over that year,but its surely not late to start,
Thats what i would do, badger him slowly into handling your parts
BEST to you ..


all else fails, come over and live with me ..?? ha
 

Stephenmass

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If I never had what I give to my mate reciprocated that would grow tired VERY quickly. I'd start to question why he isn't finding me attractive enough or what is he doing outside the relationship to be totally uninterested in pleasing you. I'd leave.

Lots of gay guys are not into anal. I understand that part. But to not touch you is almost cruel; especially when he lets you have your way with him.

Get out quick!
 

B_smooth_7

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My ex and I were together for almost five years. I don't think I ever knew anyone with such a low sex drive. There were 30 years between us (I was 50 when we met). I can have sex every day but he was so non-sexual sometimes. Sex was more like masturbation for him. He'd cum and go to sleep. We broke up 2 years ago and to this day I think he's really not interested in sex. He might go to a sauna and jack off with someone but real sex is not interesting to him and he admits it.
 

MartianMeow

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Thank you all for your opinions. I will definitely try to work with him through this. I think he just has an extremely low sex drive. I can understand that, but it makes me feel kind of unattractive at times. I guess I'll have to tell him how it makes me feel, and maybe we can work on this together. If not, then maybe I should consider moving on.
 

dong-in-khakis

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Sexual appetites and varying degrees of homosexuality and bisexuality amaze me.

I have a friend who loves to put on hose and heels and get fucked by a guy but says no part of the male body turns him on except the cock.

I have another friend that loves to fuck a guy and eat his ass but wants no anal play for himself, not even touching. I saw a seemingly real video once of a straight guy that let a gay guy suck him, but got pissed when the guy touched his legs while sucking him.
 

Bunny35

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As hard as this may sound sometimes even if you love someone, your just not compatible. If the worry is making you feel insecure or not satisfying you maybe you should consider is the relationship right?

Different people have different likes, sex drives etc etc and its often a case of compromising. But sometimes the differences are just too great and you have to think about if what you have is what you want?

Its better to make a change in a good way than stray from the yard and cause unnecessary hurt later on.