Is my boyfriend losing interest in me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_d_man09x, Jan 28, 2011.

  1. B_d_man09x

    B_d_man09x New Member

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    Okay, so... I'm feeling a bit insecure here lately in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. Our sex life isn't as frequent as it used to be, and I guess that's expected after being with someone over a year.

    Our age different is 13 years, he's older and I'm younger. I, of course, want sex all day 24/7. He, however, claims he does not. However, when we first met it was ALL the time. So, he suddenly claims he doesn't "have as high of a sex drive" as I do. Not sure if this is just a "cop out" and he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore or not.

    I've also recently found him looking at porn A LOT -- and he didn't do that much before. But, all of a sudden he is. We still have a decent sex life, but I feel like he truly isn't interested in it anymore. We will have weeks where the sex is awesome and very frequent, and then a week later its like once or twice a week. What am I doing wrong? Do you think he is losing interest?

    How much sex is "enough" sex after being with someone for a year? We mess around about 4-5x a week, but does not always include anal. I'm a little worried because I'm always wanting sex, but he isn't.
     
  2. Sharpone

    Sharpone New Member

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    This may not help, but I'm in my mid 40's and I have found many changes in my sex drive. Sometimes it comes in spurts like this summer I couldn't get enough. Now I couldn't be bothered. Stressful situations also have an effect when before nothing could interfere with it. The porn thing might be a reaction to a stressful situation as an escape.

    also, my initial tendency is to think that a situation has to do with me if another person is acting differently. However it might be something that your bf is going through, having nothing to do with you, that is effecting his drive or interest.

    Good luck!!!!
    :smile:
     
  3. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    Well, things do change when in a long term relationship. When my BF and i got together (almost 2 years ago) we were like horny little puppys. Now its only on the weekends but that has to do souly on our living situations. Appart we both do our thing to porn and joke about it together and even gather new ideas from it. So in respect to that i wouldn't be concerned. What does concern me is that you say he never really watched porn all that much in the past and that has now changed. If he claims that his sex drive has decreased, then he wouldn't even be snapping one off to porn. May be he is bored and (with no disrespect to you at all) does not get turned on my the idea of sex at all.

    My suggestion to you is that may be you should try doing something wild and completly out of charature and take him by supprise. If you still see no change, you need to sit down with him and have a talk. As humans, we all have needs and need to have those needs satisfied. Still if nothing changes, I think that you need to start doing whats best for you and start re-evaluating your options. Just my two cents.

    Good Luck
     
  4. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    He may just have a lower sex drive than you. In the early months of a relationship most people fuck like bunnies, then the normal sex drives kick in and suddenly you're only fucking as often as the person with the lowest libido wants it. Personally, I think people should come with signs around their necks honestly stating the level of their sex drive.
     
  5. brownboy21

    brownboy21 New Member

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    im in the same boat, been with my bf a lil over a yr now and we are 9 yrs apart.......
     
  6. payaso69

    payaso69 New Member

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    Hmmmm, that's weird, not to be blunt or anything but does he show signs of cheating? I know your not stupid, but that's usually one red flag.... Cuz in my relationships, the sex usually stays at the same rate, unless ur wayy older or there creepin!
     
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