If he's a decent person, maybe he's kinder to you because he sees that you need kindness. That doesn't mean he wants anything romantic.
If one or your indicators is that he "walks feminine and moves his hands" I'd spend a little more time analyzing internalized bias.
None of this seems to add up to him liking you. He seems in love and mildly socially awkward.
None of this seems to add up to him liking you. He seems in love and mildly socially awkward.
My point is that he's not Danny Trejo, but rather a Jude Law, which would equal a possibility at him being bi/bicurious. Besides, he's the one cleaning and cooking at home, not that non-event of a girlfriend of his
Some men have a particular hunting tendency that gets them into trouble. That tendency is that they want to punch above their weight class or in this case something more difficult to obtain.
If something is hard to get, it somehow becomes more valuable. But once they actually do get what they are after, they get bored of it quickly and move on to the next challenge. Or alternatively they never manage to catch anything at all.
You don't want to be this person, especially in the gay world. Because more often than not, the disparity will lead to the breakdown of the relationship and you've wasted all that time with the wrong person.
If you do it long enough, all the good ones are gone to live in their house with the white picket fence and matching puppies and all that's left are the disfunctional guys who should never be in relationships.
If something is hard to get, it somehow becomes more valuable. But once they actually do get what they are after, they get bored of it quickly and move on to the next challenge. Or alternatively they never manage to catch anything at all.
You don't want to be this person, especially in the gay world. Because more often than not, the disparity will lead to the breakdown of the relationship and you've wasted all that time with the wrong person.
If you do it long enough, all the good ones are gone to live in their house with the white picket fence and matching puppies and all that's left are the disfunctional guys who should never be in relationships.
HorseHung40's
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I could not have said that better myself.
I don't think you are listening to anyone who has taken the time to reply to you.
Good luck!
I’m sorry if I have given that impression, but I thought I maybe hadn’t given out all the necessary information for you to judge.
He’s probably not into me in any way, and I’ll stop reaching out to him thanks to your advice. It makes sense it’s in my head.
It’s very difficult when love isn’t precipitated, but that’s how it is when you don’t look like Top Gun-Tom Cruise. I’m sure many men would go a little gay for a guy like that. I still find pleasure in food and movies, and that will keep me alive.
Jude Law is straight, so there is no comparison between him and a gay or bi man. Chances are just as high that someone like Danny could be gay. Mannerisms don't indicate sexuality. Feminine straight men exist just as often as masculine straight men do.
This is a problematic internalized homophobic ideology.
In a world of several billion people, there are several million people who would be compatible with you. You just need to be looking in the right direction.
There are people with top gun looks who get their minders to find guys for them to meet in cheap motels. They lay in the bed like a star fish to be fucked. Worst ever. So seriously money, fame and looks can only get you so far.
I would continue to be friendly, but consider him out of bounds. It struck a nerve with me when you said it was difficult to not have love reciprocated. I heard nothing that made me think you loved him. Wanting to kiss and suck someone is not love. Get your feet back on the ground before you do something foolish. I’m sure you will find a willing partner in someone else. Good luck!
Yes, i don’t even know why he would bother asking us about it when he has made up his mind that the guy is gay/bi!
To OP, there’s only 1 way to find out. Tell him you’re gay/bi and if he doesn’t make a move on you, that pretty much answers all your questions! Life is too short to beat around the bush!
essexlad2
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I have a friend who is about to be married next month. His fiancé tells me that he will not have sex with her. Naturally I asked because of religion? She said no, does he want to wait until marriage? She said "we've done it once before" so no. He's just not interested. I am friends with him through her so I consider him a friend but we're not close. That being said I have seen him around his good friends and it's very weird, everyone who meets him says that there's something off about him and that his fiancé is very attractive so why would he not want to be intimate with her.
Anyone got any thoughts? Or how I could test the waters, they don't know I'm bi they think I'm straight...
Anyone got any thoughts? Or how I could test the waters, they don't know I'm bi they think I'm straight...
burning wings of the phoenix
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I think he may be bi-curious, but maybe he is not ready to acknowledge it and the fact he is in a relationship may be causing additional ambivalence.
I know a guy who married a woman just so he could maintain appearances. He is a weird cookie as well. Cute, sociable, and evidently closeted to his gay friends. But, for whatever reason, he believes that living the straight lifestyle will further him in life. I mean that literally: he's a bag licker, who schmoozes to climb the career ladder. Having the wife and kid helps him to build the image he feels he needs to be more successful.
That said, he has many examples of openly gay men (who are his friends) in the same field who have become much more successful that he will ever be. His methods ended up working against himself, as his transparent mechanizations made him unpalatable to a lot of people.
I'm not saying your friend-of-a-friend is in the same boat. He may be closeted, or he may just be an oddball. But, I would give a word of caution to the fiance to think about what she needs out of a husband. If he isn't interested in sex and they aren't even at the honeymoon stage, it will only get worse in that area later.
- Ldn,
^^ what he said. I went through a similar thing at uni and it bloody destroyed me.
Chasing something which isnt there is frustrating and soul destroying
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