Is No Vaginal Sex a Deal Breaker?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by petite, Feb 15, 2011.

  1. petite

    petite New Member

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    Would you have a relationship with a woman if you couldn't have vaginal sex? Let's suppose for the sake of this scenario that your penis didn't fit in her vagina because of girth. Would you settle for oral sex, mutual masturbation, playing with toys, and anal sex 2-4 times a month? Or would you simply consider yourself too sexually incompatible and give up on the relationship? Suppose that you have a really great relationship with each other. You consider yourselves best friends and you're very romantic with each other and what you do in bed together is very passionate and raw and intimate. The vaginal sex problem is the only problem with the relationship.

    For the women of LPSG: Same scenario as above. If you were dating a man that you were compatible with in every way except that you couldn't achieve vaginal penetration with him, would it be a deal breaker for you?
     
    #1 petite, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  2. tgirlsrgreat

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    that's a great question, i want to say it would not be a problem, but i think it would over time.
     
  3. nicenycdick

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    I've only had one great blow job in my life. But if I could have that whenever I wanted, I could live without vaginal sex...
     
  4. D_Steve_Blough_Jobs

    D_Steve_Blough_Jobs Account Disabled

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    Petite, is this something you have had an issue with?? I know I dated a very small girl years ago and she really struggled taking me in. We basically were just able to work in about 1/2 of mine and I don't consider myself huge. She really got off on me but wasn't able to take me very deep, mostly because of my girth. And since I have really never been into anal, we did have a LOT of times where we just concentrated on some incredible oral. I don't think it really had to do with us not staying together, but I know she got frustrated sometimes that she couldn't take me deeper. It was just a young love thing that wasn't really going to be long lasting anyway!! She was a wonderful girl though.
    CJ
     
  5. Riven650

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    It isn't only about differences in size between cock and vagina: A lot of women have to have hysterectomies and the vagina can sometimes end up very short making vaginal sex difficult or even impossible. I adore the feeling of vaginal sex but not being able to have it wouldn't be a deal breaker. My wife has lost both breasts to cancer and although I always saw myself as a 'breast man' I still love her and want her to be my sexual partner. If I lost my penis in an accident or to disease, I'm sure my wife wouldn't stop loving me either. Love transcends flesh.
     
  6. MrHangman

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    It'd definitely be a deal breaker. Vaginal sex is one of the most intimate moments I can have with my partners. Without it, I don't feel as strong of a bond between us.
     
  7. EmJay

    EmJay New Member

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    Yes it would..it might not be when i'm done with the whole sex thing..but my guess is that i still have a good 25 years to go before that could happen..

    If i'd find a man i am totally compatible with but couldnt have or enjoy sex with I would cry my eyes out...:frown1:
     
  8. petite

    petite New Member

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    I think ours is a temporary situation. I'm still recovering from childbirth and we haven't been able to achieve vaginal penetration because it hurts and now I seem to be even smaller! The other women have assured me that this is temprorary, but it did make me wonder, what if we were like this forever? Could we live with this? I can't imagine my future without him, but that thought did make me feel fear about our future happiness. It also made me curious what other people would think about that kind of decision.

    So this is just a hypothetical situation, not one that applies to me personally, it was just inspired by a personal experience that made me curious. What if you couldn't have vaginal sex EVER (not just after childbirth)?
     
    #8 petite, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2011
  9. HiddenLacey

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    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You always say the sweetest things!:wink:



    Petite,

    I know why you are thinking about this. Since I've never had a baby I can't tell you what's normal and what's not. I would talk to my doctor about it if I were worried. I'm sure everything will return to normal:smile:

    So far in my life I've never had to deal with that issue. I've always been able to adjust somewhat.

    I'd like to think if I loved someone enough his penis really wouldn't matter. That's like being with someone because they have a beautiful face... what if they were burned? I would never want to be so shallow as to love them any less.
     
  10. D_Plenty OToole

    D_Plenty OToole New Member

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    I would never think of leaving my family. Especially if my wife was willing to try other things. It would probably be exciting for a while. I bet that this will not be a long term problem for you. Have you talked to you gynecologist about this? What was his/her advice?
     
  11. petite

    petite New Member

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    Oh, we made obvious progress this weekend and that was encouraging. I think we'll be just fine eventually. This is just a hypothetical question. :smile:

    Actually, I haven't asked. I've been able to fit an average size dildo just fine. If he were smaller, we would have had sex weeks ago! I think it's just going to take some more time for him to be able to fit. When I thought of the question, I thought it was interesting, so I'm really not asking about me and TheBF, but the question was inspired by the past few weeks, that's all. I'm sure that vaginal sex is in our future. :smile:

    I just thought the question was an interesting one and worth asking.
     
  12. RawDog

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    Sad to say it is a dealbreaker for me.

    That response out of the way, couldn't you ask your doc if dosing up on relaxin would help?
     
  13. MrGoodDate

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    The other side of the fence.... what about the erectile disfunctional man (meaning he cant get a lasting hard on)? Old age will bring this to most of us.
     
  14. aglets

    aglets Member

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    Heck no! In fact I would give up vaginal sex right now for anal once a week and the rest of the activities you mention. I see anal as more intimate because she is really going out of the way for me. She would have to enjoy it and be enthusiastic about it all, though. If I can tell it's a drudgery for her that kills my enjoyment and any sense of intimacy.
     
  15. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    My first impression was to say, yes, if I thought a woman and I would never be able to have vaginal intercourse due to size incompatibility that it would cause a rupture. But I suppose if it were a woman I really loved, perhaps I would be able to work around it.

    I think for most men, falling in love with a woman and being sexually intimate are pretty closely tied together. I think it is certainly possible to stay in love with a woman with whom you could no longer have sex with, for whatever reason. But for myself, I am not sure that I would have gotten to the point of being in love with a woman that I had never had intercourse with.

    Obviously, other guys are different. Some profess never to have had sex with their wives before their wedding night, but that would not work for me.
     
  16. Riven650

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    [QUOTEsubmissivegirl83]AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! You always say the sweetest things!:wink[QUOTE/]

    Aw shucks :redface:

    [QUOTEsubmissivegirl83]Petite, ...
    ... I'd like to think if I loved someone enough his penis really wouldn't matter. That's like being with someone because they have a beautiful face... what if they were burned? I would never want to be so shallow as to love them any less.[QUOTE/]

    And you are the sweetest thing sg83 :wink:


    Very glad to hear you're making progress Petite. Keep working at it. I'm sure you'll be fine.
     
  17. IrishAsal

    IrishAsal Member

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    My last girlfriend (who I went out with for 6 years) really struggled. Basically we met when we were very young and we were both virgins. She struggled and I didn't know what I was doing anyway. We tried and tried. We enjoyed oral sex a lot of the time (and to this day she is the only girl to ever make me cum that way). As the years went on she kept trying but less regularly. The fact is, the simple act of trying was enough for me. If she could never take it that's fine, but because she kept trying she let me know that she loved me and would always try and please me.

    Since then I've had my fair share of vaginal sex with other girls and given how they have handled it (or not) I can really appreciate my ex girlfriend's efforts. Would I go back to her if it was the same. Yes I would but I do firmly believe my experience (and perhaps hers) would allow us much greater sexual freedom of choice than we previously had. Even if it didn't I'd still do it. In case it matters I'm very sexual and with my current girlfriend average about 24 hours of sex a week.
     
  18. borntobeking

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    It is certainly not a deal breaker. Sex has many forms of expression. Vaginal penetration is just one of them. If we have the use of our mouths and our hands we can still satisfy one another and have a great time. Besides, assuming this is someone with whom I am in a serious relationship, I'm not in it just for the sex. My wife and I share a connection that goes well beyond the physical.
     
  19. Gillette

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    Yes.

    I consider vaginal penetration to be a key, non-replaceable facet of an intimate relationship. I don't consider it to be fully making love without that joining. (Personal definition only, I'm fully aware that you can be lovingly intimate without penetration) Never ever to have penetration? I couldn't cope.

    I'm probably still on ignore :rolleyes: and I know this situation is presently a concern of the OP, so I hope the rest of you will reassure her that this is sure to be no more than a temporary thing due to delivering a child and that her body is certain to adjust to accommodate her husband again.
     
  20. my64sqin

    my64sqin New Member

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    That might be true for some but for me, they'd have to cut out my tongue too!
     
    #20 my64sqin, Feb 15, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 15, 2011
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