Is No Vaginal Sex a Deal Breaker?

[Icarium]

For me the answer is NO if everything else is on offer ie anal (or her good looking horny sister i'm joking here lol). I find anal sex with my gf is amazing because its that old taboo thing, plus she's tighter there & doesn't get so wet that i lose friction either.

So long as she can still enjoy oral (me to her) & being fingered vaginally (something i love doing) Then thats ok.

 

[RawDog]

Yes.

I consider vaginal penetration to be a key, non-replaceable facet of an intimate relationship. I don't consider it to be fully making love without that joining. (Personal definition only, I'm fully aware that you can be lovingly intimate without penetration) Never ever to have penetration? I couldn't cope.

I'm probably still on ignore and I know this situation is presently a concern of the OP, so I hope the rest of you will reassure her that this is sure to be no more than a temporary thing due to delivering a child and that her body is certain to adjust to accommodate her husband again.

Totally agree with the first paragraph. The second one I quoted just for the fuck of it. :smile:

 

[Ramsey]

If she was like you said and was my best friend and I was madly in love with her and we had plenty of other sexual avenues to play with, then it would certainly not be a deal breaker. There are so many ways to be intimate, and if we couldn't have vaginal sex like you have been struggling with, I would do every bit I could to reassure her of my love and devotion to her.

It's her I love, and I may love her pussy too but I can enjoy it in other ways like going down on her, fingers etc.

 

[helgaleena]

I say it depends on what the 'deal' is. I for one don't want any(more) kids and it freaks me out that my ex was unable to enjoy anything about me but my hoohah. Other partners have been more broadminded. And soon I'll officially be a crone and not have to worry. Because every time tab a is in slot b, there is always risk.

 

[petite]

I say it depends on what the 'deal' is. I for one don't want any(more) kids and it freaks me out that my ex was unable to enjoy anything about me but my hoohah. Other partners have been more broadminded. And soon I'll officially be a crone and not have to worry. Because every time tab a is in slot b, there is always risk.

I'm referring to Dan Savage's Price of Admission when I use the term.

YouTube - ‪Dan Savage on The Price of Admission‬‏

 

[LaFemme]

If this is an issue that arises in a brand new relationship - it would probably be a dealbreaker. But if this was an ongoing serious relationship, than for myself, I would learn to adjust. I love sex...love love love it! But love for another person is so much deeper than that. I would hope that we would be able to use other sexual activities and the all-sexy imagination to stay physically intimate.

 

[Gecko4lif]

Definite deal breaker.

 

[stoneten69]

Would you have a relationship with a woman if you couldn't have vaginal sex? Let's suppose for the sake of this scenario that your penis didn't fit in her vagina because of girth. Would you settle for oral sex, mutual masturbation, playing with toys, and anal sex 2-4 times a month? Or would you simply consider yourself too sexually incompatible and give up on the relationship? Suppose that you have a really great relationship with each other. You consider yourselves best friends and you're very romantic with each other and what you do in bed together is very passionate and raw and intimate. The vaginal sex problem is the only problem with the relationship.

For the women of LPSG: Same scenario as above. If you were dating a man that you were compatible with in every way except that you couldn't achieve vaginal penetration with him, would it be a deal breaker for you?

I dated a girl years ago that was saving vaginal penetration for marriage but everything else was "no holds barred." We didn't go as far as using toys. But, had mutual masturbation, oral, grinding, etc. I found it an awesome experience and we came hard just with that. It was an awesome experience.

 

[Pitbull]

If this is an issue that arises in a brand new relationship - it would probably be a dealbreaker. But if this was an ongoing serious relationship, than for myself, I would learn to adjust. I love sex...love love love it! But love for another person is so much deeper than that. I would hope that we would be able to use other sexual activities and the all-sexy imagination to stay physically intimate.

Stole my answer

I adore the feeling of vaginal sex but not being able to have it wouldn't be a deal breaker. My wife has lost both breasts to cancer and although I always saw myself as a 'breast man' I still love her and want her to be my sexual partner. If I lost my penis in an accident or to disease, I'm sure my wife wouldn't stop loving me either. Love transcends flesh.

Perfect

The other side of the fence.... what about the erectile disfunctional man (meaning he cant get a lasting hard on)? Old age will bring this to most of us.

Yes, the door can swing both ways.
The Golden Rule should guide your actions.

It'd definitely be a deal breaker. Vaginal sex is one of the most intimate moments I can have with my partners. Without it, I don't feel as strong of a bond between us.

At some point in your life you will realize that you can have that same "intimacy" with any one of hundreds of people and when you withdraw the intimacy is over.
A bond is truly strong when nothing short of death can break it.
When you love someone and you are there for them when they need it in a way no one else is, that is beyond intimacy.

I myself at this point in my life would not enter into a relationship which was lacking sexually.
But if the situation changed and I was committed to the relationship - well isn't that what commitment means?
I've done it once.
I can do it again.
A terminal illness can terminate your sex life and consequently that of your partner.
I spent nearly 5 years without sex while my partner was dying.
Besides not being able to have sex there were 3 days a week at the hospital, hair gone, strength lost, numerous surgeries, unable to drive, then unable to walk, confined to a bed.
I know there are people who abandon someone in such a situation but to me that is just wrong. So wrong that it is unthinkable.
I had no vaginal sex for 5 years and yes it sucked.
But my wife had no sex either. And a slow death that came to one much too young to die.

 

[GarthMerenghi]

Nope, I could easily have a relationship with someone where all we did was kiss. It's about the person, not about sticking your penis inside them, surely...

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

I understand how you feel, Petite. While I didn't have any issues with penetration after childbirth (I had a c-section as well), my post-hysterectomy insides are different. The lack of hormones from ovary removal make the walls less elastic and intercourse has been painful. Vaginal length was shortened by maybe a 1/2 inch but when you add decreased elasticity it feels like I've been shortened by inches. I honestly think your issues are your hormones balancing back out. For most women it's an emotional issue, maybe it manifested physically for you? It's also difficult to relax with a newborn that needs so much tending to, so could some of this be emotional? Just throwing that out there.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Sad to say it is a dealbreaker for me.

As usual, we're thinking along the same lines.

It it came up early in a relationship, it would be an instant deal breaker for me.

If it came up later, I'd need to discuss opening up the relationship. If he wasn't OK with that, it would be a deal breaker.

My vagina likes being fucked too much to give it up.

 

[GarthMerenghi]

As usual, we're thinking along the same lines.

It it came up early in a relationship, it would be an instant deal breaker for me.

If it came up later, I'd need to discuss opening up the relationship. If he wasn't OK with that, it would be a deal breaker.

My vagina likes being fucked too much to give it up.

I guess it's different for girls? I wouldn't know. But like, if I ever need a sexual release, I just masturbate...like, it's as simple as that for me, haha. I'd happily be with someone I loved and just masturbate if I ever felt the need to stick my penis inside anything.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I guess it's different for girls? I wouldn't know. But like, if I ever need a sexual release, I just masturbate...like, it's as simple as that for me, haha. I'd happily be with someone I loved and just masturbate if I ever felt the need to stick my penis inside anything.

Toys and cocks are totally not equivalent. It isn't a simple as just needing a vaginal orgasm.

 

[invisibleman]

A woman has a lot more to lose in vaginal sex. Women have to worry about family planning issues...reproductive health issues...changes in her body. If she isn't into having sex with a man that has large penis...THAT IS A DEALBREAKER more for her and possibly for him. If a man isn't happy...he should be happy with a woman that can handle him.

 

[Not_Punny]

Absolutely NOT it would be a deal breaker. If the sex is otherwise hot and if he is affectiomate, vaginal sex can weather the vissisitudes of motherhood. Hell, you just brought another human being to life. Give it time and keep the big picture in mind.

 

[B_prettyswinggirl]

It would be a deal breaker for me. But Petite, like I said before..I cross my heart and hope to die...Your's is a temporary situation. Rawdog brought up a valid point in that there is a creme called Premarin that your dr may be able to prescribe, but it's not relaxin(your body is still producing that btw till about 6 months postpartum). It's a form of estrogen to help lubricate and allow the vaginal tissues to stretch easier like they did before baby came along. You insert it everyday according to instructions into your vagina. A warning though, unless you're well established with your breastfeeding, it could cause a decrease in your production of milk, so most Dr's recommend that you drink plenty of fluids if you want to try this method. Some Dr's woun't allow the use of premarin just for sexual intercourse and will tell you to just wait it out. Hope this helps!

 

[D_Plenty OToole]

If this is an issue that arises in a brand new relationship - it would probably be a dealbreaker. But if this was an ongoing serious relationship, than for myself, I would learn to adjust. I love sex...love love love it! But love for another person is so much deeper than that. I would hope that we would be able to use other sexual activities and the all-sexy imagination to stay physically intimate.

I think that this is exactly my thinking. A lot of posts talk about sexual release, but when I have vaginal intercourse with my wife there is a lot more to it than that. I think vaginal sex is different than anything else. it probably has to do with playing out the reproductive instinct. I think that some people are chemically and psychologically suited to one another, and that makes the experience of vaginal sex deeply intimate. I honestly think that no combination of other sex play could replace it. But, I have other non sexual ways in which I am intimate with my wife. I think if we couldn't have intercourse, then I would focus a lot more on those things than I would on creative sex play.

I don't think it would affect how I feel about my wife.

 

[TheEqu]

I think I could, but only if anal was on the cards. Mainly because I'd want to do something to her with my penis... a blow job she's doing all the work, toys its not really me doing it... I would still want to have sex with her and cum inside her.

This is also assuming we were 100% compatible personality wise, and she fucking loved anal.

 

[RawDog]

As usual, we're thinking along the same lines.

As usual indeed. :smile:

It it came up early in a relationship, it would be an instant deal breaker for me.

If it came up later, I'd need to discuss opening up the relationship. If he wasn't OK with that, it would be a deal breaker.

If I hadn't gone through that already during my first marriage, I would've answered the same way, but I just can't be happy being with someone I couldn't be inside of. Now, if this were a temporary thing like petite is surely going through, I'd wait for as long as it took to get things the way they were. There's no finality here. It took me 9 years to realize with my first wife that things were not going to change. Ever.

My vagina likes being fucked too much to give it up.

Same as my cock.

Toys and cocks are totally not equivalent. It isn't a simple as just needing a vaginal orgasm.

I've said this before; My very best, most memorable, masturbation experience pales in comparison with my worst penis in vagina sexual experience.