Is No Vaginal Sex a Deal Breaker?

[B_subgirrl]

I'm terribly good at keeping FBs as FBs (that might be a bad thing).

I think it's an awesome thing.

I'm not so sure. Maybe it just means I'm not easy to fall in love with. Of 7 FBs I've only had 2 who wanted more, plus the FB-With-Blurred-Boundaries.

Of the same 7 FBs I've wanted more with 2 of them (not the same 2, although 1 was blurred boundaries guy) and was tempted with a third (who WAS one of the 2 who wanted me). The 2 that I wanted more with were very long term FBs. So I guess it only gets dangerous for me if it continues for a long time.

MrsR, back in her college days, really had no problems doing that. Through her first and second marriages when we'd commiserate about relationships, she'd still "tsk tsk" me about finding these women who I ended up marrying instead of dumping. Hah! Fooey to her now! (We were supposed to be FBs as well)

:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: Now THAT is amusing :biggrin1:. You know why that happens, don't you? It's the PIV thing. The second you do that - bang, instant bond :biggrin1:. You are dangerous with PIV.

On which aspect?

You are good looking enough and hung enough (dunno about your monetary situation). You are also a wonderful guy and I suspect you are brilliant in bed.

(I'll leave it to MrsR to give you the rest of today's compliments :redface.

I'm too much of a nice guy I think. I can't stand to see a woman cry.

That's rather sweet!

Good for you. Here's hoping you never turn into a miserable evil bitch.

Already been there, done that. Have moved on now (thankfully!).

Just for grins and giggles, write down your point of view for me.

Having a cock buried inside me, up to the hilt, with the head wedged firmly in my deep spot, completes me. Happy? :tongue:

ticIf he had an average size penis, it wouldn't be an issue at all, but when I described the difficulty I had dilating using dildos and the pain I experienced when we tried penetration, she said that it was lack of elasticity due to breastfeeding, so it sounds like a similar problem that occurs after a hysterectomy. I was really glad to get a solid answer so I could stop wondering. It's also nice to know how long I need to wait. I was thinking maybe a few weeks, but it turns out that it will probably be months before we can have vaginal sex again, which doesn't make me happy, but it saves me the frustration of attempting to have sex over and over again and failing repeatedly.

I think the wait will be much less frustrating now you know how long it will be, now you know it's normal (and temporary!) and knowing that you have the power to change it (if you were willing to stop breastfeeding).

Unlike you, we aren't as good at separating sex and emotions, and we're both aware of it.

It's embarrassing, but even though I know I'M good at separating the two, I'm not sure I'd have faith in my hypothetical partner's ability to do so.

My baby also had jaundice and they almost didn't release us from the hospital. I spent the first few days after he was born with the breast pump, feeding him as much as possible. Breastfeeding is very important to me because it reduces his chances of getting diabetes, cancer, allergies, asthma, and becoming overweight. It also reduces my chances of getting breast cancer and heart disease. Everything I eat is in consideration of it's effect on my breastmilk and I'm careful to get my vitamins and take the DHA supplements. We aren't ready to give it up quite yet, especially since I've been struggling so much with it, working so hard to increase my milk supply so that I wouldn't have to use formula. I'm too invested in doing it to give it up.

This is one of the things I love about you. You're always so focused on doing the right thing. I'm not nearly as good as you :redface:.

 

[chrisb4sure]

Nope sorry sex is an absolute deal breaker.

 

[RawDog]

I'm not so sure. Maybe it just means I'm not easy to fall in love with. Of 7 FBs I've only had 2 who wanted more, plus the FB-With-Blurred-Boundaries.

Of the same 7 FBs I've wanted more with 2 of them (not the same 2, although 1 was blurred boundaries guy) and was tempted with a third (who WAS one of the 2 who wanted me). The 2 that I wanted more with were very long term FBs. So I guess it only gets dangerous for me if it continues for a long time.

I still don't see the downside. You both can make a fair assessment after the fact of whether or not you'll be the right fit for each other.

:biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: Now THAT is amusing :biggrin1:. You know why that happens, don't you? It's the PIV thing. The second you do that - bang, instant bond :biggrin1:. You are dangerous with PIV.

And this is why no PIV sex for me is such a dealbreaker. That "magical" bond that occurs with PIV sex ends up being necessary to replenish the energy within the relationship. My wife and I seem to have a deeper psychic connection for the next day or two.

You are good looking enough and hung enough (dunno about your monetary situation). You are also a wonderful guy and I suspect you are brilliant in bed.

Thanks.

Having a cock buried inside me, up to the hilt, with the head wedged firmly in my deep spot, completes me. Happy? :tongue:

Very happy. I can read that sentence all day long.

 

[B_subgirrl]

I still don't see the downside. You both can make a fair assessment after the fact of whether or not you'll be the right fit for each other.

That's true :smile:.

And this is why no PIV sex for me is such a dealbreaker. That "magical" bond that occurs with PIV sex ends up being necessary to replenish the energy within the relationship. My wife and I seem to have a deeper psychic connection for the next day or two.

Maybe it has something to do with all the neurotransmitters and hormones that get released?

Thanks.

You're welcome :smile:.

Very happy. I can read that sentence all day long.

:biggrin1::redface:

 

[Love-it]

My wife and I have been together over 36 years, we started having problems right away that was attributed to vaginal infections, etc. It took over 30 years before we realized that I was to big for her. During those 30 years there were years where we might have tried vaginal intercourse once or may twice in any 12 month time frame. If it wasn't for oral sex there wouldn't have been any sex at all, and sometimes that was only one time per month. We are still together and in love. Sure, it would have been better to have discovered our problem earlier and it would have been nice to have more sex but we're still here.

 

[paneros]

Although it would be fine for a while, especially as a springboard to explore new sexual experiences, long term, no vaginal sex would not work for me, because there really is nothing to compare to it, on an energetic level. A gorgeous, welcoming vagina is where my cock wants to be, and it's so beautiful. I feel complete as a man there.
Also, because I practice tantra, which is about exploring the deeper aspects of sex, sexuality, being, relating and their interconnection, energetically - and this is experiential, not just theory - the energy and union created between a vagina and penis together is unique, and it is not simply a result of physical sensation. Sacred sexuality explores how the two energies, when handled with awareness, heal both partners.