is oral sex cheating?

[Tattooed Goddess]

Based on the questions that women often ask when they find out their man has been unfaithful- the first is: Do you love her? Did you talk to her about things you used to only talk to me about? Did you buy her flowers?

It's more about the possible intimacy/romance with another we tend to be concerned with. Sure the sex bothers women, but its all the other things we associate with intimacy that makes us really nervous about the possibility of things not getting better after the fact.

 

[Fleur]

I know that's the norm. Definitely...for me, both are equally bothering...both are cheating...intimacy/romance and fucking.

 

[josty]

Yes.

 

[D_Portelay Porquesword]

Personally, I cannot believe you'd even ask a question like that. Perhaps you should have asked if we would refrain from thinking poorly of you for messing around with another woman?

The answer of which, for me, would be: I feel badly for your wife.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I never said it wasnt cheating. I'm saying that people equate sexual behavior with another as if there is an affair/relationship going on. Based on history: A man can still have concubines he uses for sex only and still be a good husband/provider/father at home. It's been going on for centuries around the world with aristocracy.

I've heard of women allowing their husbands to go off and have sex with others as long as they arent going to date them.

I personally wouldnt like it, but my marriage isnt exactly like someone elses. All i can say is how i would feel if i were the person getting denied intimacy with my spouse, i'd be considering going elsewhere after a long period of time.

And as far as we know, he might have had conversations with his wife in the past to gauge her feelings on the issue, her feelings about their particular relationship and where it is going.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Since when did all the sexual libs start getting on their moral highhorses? This totally surprises me around this place of all places.

 

[badgirl22]

Since when did all the sexual libs start getting on their moral highhorses? This totally surprises me around this place of all places.

What? People who like to discuss penis' and other sexual topics have less morals? Or, they define cheating differently than people who don't partake in forums like this? Hmmm...

To me it's all about expectations. If you *expect* your partner to be with you and only you then it's cheating. If you have no such expectation, then of course it's not cheating. Every realataionship is different but pretty much in a *traditional* partner relationship any sort of intimacy (emotional or physical) with anyone but said partner is considered cheating - if you can't tell them you've done it or are planning on doing it - you damn well know it's cheating.

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

If it's something you wouldn't tell a partner it's cheating.

However, I've known lots of men in sexless marriages, and it's invariably the women who decides the marriage will be sexless and he has no option but to go along with it. Sex is and should be an important part of any relationship, and it should be something that's mutually enjoyable, mutually agreed upon, it just isn't fair that 99% of the time its the female partner who gets to set the sexual rules.

If I'm in the pub with a group of women and one says oh my husband wants sex every night and I only want it once a week most women would go 'oh the selfish bugger, you stick to your guns', why should it always be the woman who gets to decide?

If you get married and at the time you know your partner will only be wanting sex once a month, that's what you signed up for and you have no right to whinge about it, if you were at it like bunnies before you got married, then the minute the ink on the marriage certificate is dry the sex dries up too that's just not fair. It's a reasonable expectation that your sex life will continue to your satisfaction.

Reading what PM has said I think it's not so unreasonable of you to want your cock sucked once in a while, and your wife should want to do that, marriage is about compromise, about carrying on making an effort.

 

[B_VinylBoy]

Well, it does have "sex" at the end of it. That should be an obvious clue.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Because there is an attitude of "Anything Goes" around here. I've seen my fair share of "Don't judge someone elses relationship" when it comes to incest, BDSM, threesomes, open marriages, cuckholds, small penis humiliation. Why should this be any different to have someone look at the other side of the coin on this particular issue?

Im not saying no one should have morals, im saying around LPSG its strongly not advised when it comes to sex practices.

 

[texas41-38]

It is sex only if you actually cum.

 

[luka82]

It`s cheating!
PM really likes to use plurals when she is expressing her opinions...
I can name some examples, but I guess that would be trolling, so I won`t

 

[nylonguy]

Every case is different, but one really quick way to find out is this. Go up to your wife and ask her if it is ok if another woman sucks your dick till it cums, you should get a yes or no answer pretty quickly!

 

[chijack]

Answer your own question: Would you consider it cheating if your wife decided to go suck another guys cock?

 

[Principessa]

Everyone keeps telling him to talk to his wife and ask her permission for it. Do you think most women not doing much with their men are going to allow them to go out and do whatever? Usually they aren't so understanding and often extremely jealous about it.

Exactly, he knows he is wrong he just wants web approval to cheat.

It's easy to say there are other issues that need to be addressed. But if someone doesnt have a sex drive and doesnt want one (which is a common issue these days with women) and other things are going well in the marriage, why should someone have to bring their marriage on the table for destruction by seperating, divorcing and whatnot for a blow job.

There is usually a medical, physical, or psychological reason for the demise of a sex drive. He didn't say there was no sex, just no blow jobs. Were there ever BJ's? If not then he needs to just resign himself to this. If she used to go downtown, but stopped he needs to find out why. Has he gained weight, changed his diet which can produce funky sweat and spunk.


It's not like he's trying to have an affair and carry on an intimate relationship and conversation with someone other than his wife. Women are rarely concerned about the sex a man has outside the marriage and more worried that he romanced her, wined, dined and talked to her about things that were important in his life.

He's not wanting to do that. He wants someone to make him blow his load is all.

God gave him 2 hands, he needs to put them to good use.

Forsaking all others is part of the marriage vows for a reason. They are sacred vows, not options on a Chinese food menu. :irked:

If I ever get to the point where I don't want to go down on my husband (don't have one now but...) then it'd be a sad day. Then again I love it...some women don't.

Doesn't excuse cheating though...I think he should talk to his wife about the lack of sex/oral sex though.

As do I! Why can't he buy a fleshlight and have her hold it for him.

 

[Smooth88]

Yes it is cheating unless you and your partner are participating.

 

[Guy-jin]

Morals are relative.

It's easy to call someone a "skunk" for cheating when you don't know the situation and don't think about the potential complexity behind it.

Can cheating actually be used to save a marriage? Why not?

While you can easily say, "You should talk to your spouse and get divorced if she won't change," is that really always the best solution to a sexless marriage? Or is that just Puritanical Western marriage morality talking?

People act like divorce is nothing and like libido is something one can control. If your wife has no sexual libido, does that mean it's time to get divorced? That seems morally improper to me as well.

I can predict responses like, "She can still suffer through sex/blow jobs/hand jobs even if she has no libido," so let me respond to them now. If you're with someone with no libido, how good is the sex going to be? For me, at least, if my partner were not interested in sex, I would not want to have sex with her.

I anticipate complaints about how people should see a doctor if this happens, or how if cheating is on the table then there is so little love in the relationship that divorce should be obvious. I do not think this is true. Love is not necessarily reliant on sex.

There was a time when I thought cheating/affairs were 100% morally wrong, but after knowing people in these situations, it became clear to me that it can be a morally complex issue without a simple answer. I've certainly known people who loved their spouses as much as they did the day they were wed, but who, due to the sexless nature of their relationship, cheated in order to satisfy that side of their psyche that their spouse could not satisfy. Their spouses did not find out and nobody was hurt by it... so where was the moral wrong done?

Because there is an attitude of "Anything Goes" around here. I've seen my fair share of "Don't judge someone elses relationship" when it comes to incest, BDSM, threesomes, open marriages, cuckholds, small penis humiliation. Why should this be any different to have someone look at the other side of the coin on this particular issue?

Im not saying no one should have morals, im saying around LPSG its strongly not advised when it comes to sex practices.

Not everyone here is sexually liberal, just like not everybody here is politically liberal. Something you should know intimately by now, no?

Using the word "lib" as a pejorative is very 2005 of you. :tongue:

 

[HazelGod]

If you're with someone with no libido, how good is the sex going to be? For me, at least, if my partner were not interested in sex, I would not want to have sex with her.

Bingo. We have a(nother) winner.

 

[DGirl]

have actually made plans to have my cock sucked in the next couple days with a woman is just gaga for me and it, but i'm married..........

so, is it cheating?

where is that line drawn for y'all?

i know it will be different for everyone, just wondering where people stand

Babe, if you do it.. you will REGRET it...

That is so fucked up..

You did NOT wanta MEET me when I was in Hawaii.. but, you will let some BITCH suck your dick..:cussing2:
You better hope your wife won't CUT your DICK off!!!!!!! If you were my man I would!!

 

[D_Ivana Dickenside]

duh, it's cheating. you can't expect to have your cock sucked by someone else who isn't your wife and not have your wife be pissed about it... unless you're swingers.