Is Over 5 1/2 Inches Of Girth Considered Big?

Zyz

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I genuinely don't know if I have a big cock or not. I'm a virgin who just found a tape measure. I might go to the store and try different condoms on.

I like the idea of this condom fitting store. Is it all wood panelling and leather chesterfields, like an old school tailor, where you’re measured up before they present you with samples to peruse?
 

chrisrobin

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I like the idea of this condom fitting store. Is it all wood panelling and leather chesterfields, like an old school tailor, where you’re measured up before they present you with samples to peruse?
Ah, so you found the condom fitting store as well - a hands on experience! I went for the teat less one with double strength reusable
 

Zyz

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Ah, so you found the condom fitting store as well - a hands on experience! I went for the teat less one with double strength reusable

The double strength reusable is an economical choice, but I detest having to wait while my valet washes the blasted thing and drapes it in front of the open fire to dry before going again.

My usual choice is Mrs Ursula Quandress’s Patented Womb Defender made from three layers of wax-impregnated silk covered with goose fat for lubrication. When we’re done, I simply toss it on the fire, and enjoy a scent reminiscent of roasting potatoes.
 

chrisrobin

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The double strength reusable is an economical choice, but I detest having to wait while my valet washes the blasted thing and drapes it in front of the open fire to dry before going again.

My usual choice is Mrs Ursula Quandress’s Patented Womb Defender made from three layers of wax-impregnated silk covered with goose fat for lubrication. When we’re done, I simply toss it on the fire, and enjoy a scent reminiscent of roasting potatoes.
Why burn it when you could add it to the Sunday roast and baste the potatoes with the fat etc...
as for the washable ones a nice dusting with talc after being turned inside out and washed does the trick fine and they ready for the next penetration, in fact I usually hang my used ones on the bedhead.
 

Zyz

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Why burn it when you could add it to the Sunday roast and baste the potatoes with the fat etc...
as for the washable ones a nice dusting with talc after being turned inside out and washed does the trick fine and they ready for the next penetration, in fact I usually hang my used ones on the bedhead.

Dear Christopher,
I’m terribly sorry to hear that you’re down on your luck at the moment, and either eating spent prophylactics, or laundering them and having the indignity of hanging them out yourself, on the bedhead no less. Of course, studio apartments and going without staff is de rigeur at present, so I hope your social standing has not suffered too much as a consequence. I would be more than happy to send a postal order for 80 Guineas to see you through, and we can come to some sort of arrangement at a later date, if that would be helpful.

Yours,
Z.
 

chrisrobin

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Dear Christopher,
I’m terribly sorry to hear that you’re down on your luck at the moment, and either eating spent prophylactics, or laundering them and having the indignity of hanging them out yourself, on the bedhead no less. Of course, studio apartments and going without staff is de rigeur at present, so I hope your social standing has not suffered too much as a consequence. I would be more than happy to send a postal order for 80 Guineas to see you through, and we can come to some sort of arrangement at a later date, if that would be helpful.

Yours,
Z.
Oh thank you sir, life as a poor gamekeeper does have its ups and downs and in these troubled times more down that up. I did neglect to mention that I only have a bed head but no bed, that went in the winter to keep me warm and the main reason I use washable johnnies is they come from sheep intestines and are cheap - plus I always want to eat my protein to help keep me fit. I would love to have staff but consequences have decreed that I actually am the staff. Would that I was lucky enough to have a studio apartment instead of this cludgy with holes in the walls
 

Zyz

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Oh thank you sir, life as a poor gamekeeper does have its ups and downs and in these troubled times more down that up. I did neglect to mention that I only have a bed head but no bed, that went in the winter to keep me warm and the main reason I use washable johnnies is they come from sheep intestines and are cheap - plus I always want to eat my protein to help keep me fit. I would love to have staff but consequences have decreed that I actually am the staff. Would that I was lucky enough to have a studio apartment instead of this cludgy with holes in the walls

Well, that is wonderful news! I am so glad to hear that your social standing has been wholly unaffected by your misfortune, being a happy-go-lucky, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants workaday sort. How I envy the simple pleasures you must enjoy, unencumbered by the materialistic preoccupations and devilish plague of choices that wealth can bring. All of that fresh air - how glorious! And, best of all, with so little almost everything can become an aspiration. You lucky, lucky thing!
 

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Well, that is wonderful news! I am so glad to hear that your social standing has been wholly unaffected by your misfortune, being a happy-go-lucky, fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants workaday sort. How I envy the simple pleasures you must enjoy, unencumbered by the materialistic preoccupations and devilish plague of choices that wealth can bring. All of that fresh air - how glorious! And, best of all, with so little almost everything can become an aspiration. You lucky, lucky thing!
Its my philosophy in life to take things as they come, turn the other cheek and always swallow everything, aftyer all you cant take materialistic things with you but you can take whats on offer in the here and now.
 

Zyz

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Its my philosophy in life to take things as they come, turn the other cheek and always swallow everything, aftyer all you cant take materialistic things with you but you can take whats on offer in the here and now.

That suggests you’re either sanguine, or a bit of a whore. Or both.
;)