"Do you find that watching too much porn desensitizes sexual response and/or sets elevated expectations for your partners?"
I'm not sure what porn is. When I was younger, there were movies and other stimuli that were not explicit in the depiction of sex that had a profound affect on me in the way that porn did. Causing arousal, producing fantasy after the exposure, conceptualizing what is sexually possible, setting boundaries....you need to define porn.
And what is "too much porn."
Listen: An absence of porn, or its equivalent produces some of the most sexually desensitized people I know. I could substitute another word for desensitized.
You conflate porn with masturbation, I think. Sexual response is driven by imagination, and by physical normalization. You should isolate the two factors. If I watch porn and masturbate to a certain degree, my ability to experience other partnered sexual interaction is certainly affected. A certain amount of masturbation is in fact NECESSARY, in my humble opinion.
Physical arousal is dominated by our mental perception and our sense of what is stimulating. That may include bringing to bear our naughtiest fantasies in our thought processes as we engage in sex. If that includes for some person anal sex, yet after hundreds of hours of watching anal sex it becomes more of a normal activity, an important component of our ability to feel aroused is diminished.
But that assumes that our imaginations are a vessel of fixed capacity. When anal becomes pedestrian, how about anal with a BIG BLACK COCK?
Or a BIG BLACK COCK while he's getting fucked dead up the crack of his ass with semen in his ear?
And shit.
And so on.
Until having sex in the missionary position -- only for procreation, in a wholesome marriage, with the lights out and no sodomy, is so far out that it's fucking hot.
Relative to creating unrealistic expectations: That could fill a book. Here's the summary: Porn is fake, staged and hard work. Nobody fucks like they do in porn. I've watched or been involved in fucking a lot of people. Nobody fucks like they do in porn. If you have anxiety that you are not measuring up to those performance standards, buy Ron Jeremy's book or any other of the good books about the industry. It's staged and it takes hours to produce and frankly, you shouldn't be watching it with your wife. Porn is for jacking off IMHO.
"In real life few of us will have a porn star beauty as a partner (male or female) and I wonder if you find yourselves disappointed by your partners because of the expectations set by porn movies."
Never.
Ever.
Never, ever, ever!
Are you high?
No.
No fucking way. You did NOT ask that question.
OK.
Google Rosie Casals -- a really hot Latina tennis player. She's not a big woman, but she's a tennis player (which means she's HOT) and she's one of those heroes who made it possible for women's sport to blossom into an element of worldwide culture. She and Billie Jean King helped to make women's tennis the most popular women's sport.
She's a hero of mine and I've rubbed out a lot of sweet smelling semen to the legs on that mujer hermosa.
Good.
I'm writing her and her charitable foundation and I'm tasking her with finding and smacking you for asking that question. Note: She's got a serious forehand. Duck.
Listen: You need to either:
Stop watching porn
Or continue to watch it and internalize the fact that these are not people you should compare yourself to. They're actors. Selected and PREPARED to film scenes -- over a period of hours -- to seem as hot as possible. Most porn actresses are unatractive to me. One look at fake C or D cups, eyelash fortification, and skin that indicates exercise doesn't matter and I am turned off.
The hottest porn actors are plain regular folk.
"For instance, after watching a lot of porn do you find that it takes longer to achieve full arousal?"
You're using it wrong. Here's the correct syntax.
You feel like cuming.
You get chunked up. Even hard.
Find the lube.
Take off your clothes.
Turn on porn.
Rub one out.
If you need porn as step #1, there's your problem.
"Do you find that you still achieve the same level of satisfaction with your partner that you did prior to watching porn? Are your orgasms less powerful and/or less frequent with your partner?"
If you're with a partner, you shouldn't be watching porn. YOU'RE MAKING THE PORN.
If you are sitting down with a partner and using porn to get aroused -- unless you've been married for a long time, you are with the wrong partner. That'd be like me meeting Jelena The Body Jankovic -- the woman with the lung inhalation killing smokingist body in tennis -- and she asks to go to my hotel room. Theoretically, my cock would demand so much blood flow my neocortex would be starved for oxygen and I'd be dead, but instead I order MILFs Gone Wild to watch it with her.
I outa smack you my damn self for that question. If you're with a partner, turn the porn off.
"What about body type – do you find that you’re comparing your partner to porn stars and finding flaws that perhaps you never noticed before resulting in dissatisfaction?"
That's a restatement of the same question. Seriously, it can be positive to enjoy porn together, but in my experience, you need to be in a very secure and boring relationship to do that.
"One of my concerns is that young people look to porn as a kind of how-to manual for sex, just like many of us did when we were younger. Only now porn seems more raw and violent. Are the movies today setting stereotypes that will carry over into adulthood? Few porn movies illustrate the intimacy, beauty and sensuality that sex can be between true lovers. I wonder if porn is rewiring our brains so that it makes experiencing that kind of intimacy and true closeness more difficult to achieve."
Let's get this responded to crisply.
1. You shouldn't be concerned with anyone's sexual socialization unless you can claim them as deductions on your income tax. Period. Please redirect that concern to more important concerns, if you will.
2. There's no such thing as beauty, sensuality and all that other bullshit. There's finance, cumming and friendship -- those are your three ingredients in any lasting type relationship. Only one is required. Add The kids to that, although many would argue that they're a byproduct, not a requisite component.
3. After Rosie smacks you, you fall, regain your wits and begin consideration of the physical challenges of getting back up to your feet, I ask that you remain on your knees and that you begin praying that our brains -- all of them -- do get rewired. It's our only hope. :biggrin1:
Seriously: Yours was an interesting post. Thanks for being in the forum.
