Is Porn Rewiring Our Brains?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by ArtofDesire, Dec 9, 2010.

  1. ArtofDesire

    ArtofDesire New Member

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    No doubt this has been asked before but do you find that watching too much porn desensitizes sexual response and/or sets elevated expectations for your partners?
    With the prevalence of porn I am wondering if in your experience watching too much desensitizes sexual response and set elevated expectations – from what I’ve read I would say “YES”. Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy watching good porn, but I cannot help but wonder if the videos & movies don’t set unrealistic expectations for our partners. After all porn is fantasy, in real life few of us will have a porn star beauty as a partner (male or female) and I wonder if you find yourselves disappointed by your partners because of the expectations set by porn movies.
    For instance, after watching a lot of porn do you find that it takes longer to achieve full arousal?
    Do you find that you still achieve the same level of satisfaction with your partner that you did prior to watching porn? Are your orgasms less powerful and/or less frequent with your partner?
    And what about body type – do you find that you’re comparing your partner to porn stars and finding flaws that perhaps you never noticed before resulting in dissatisfaction?
    One of my concerns is that young people look to porn as a kind of how-to manual for sex, just like many of us did when we were younger. Only now porn seems more raw and violent. Are the movies today setting stereotypes that will carry over into adulthood? Few porn movies illustrate the intimacy, beauty and sensuality that sex can be between true lovers. I wonder if porn is rewiring our brains so that it makes experiencing that kind of intimacy and true closeness more difficult to achieve.
     
  2. JustAsking

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    This last part is my concern as well. Internet porn has to be damaging to young people for the reasons you stated. Since they have no other reference point, their impression of sex could come more from Internet porn than anyplace else.

    That is pretty scary, actually. I would rather they fumble around clueless in the back seat of dad's car than come to their first experiences with a head full of Internet porn as a model for it.
     
  3. D_Rawkesbye Deadheade

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    Depends largely on the viewer. It's all good if you can come to terms with the fact that porn is not real life - it's an expression of sexual fantasies and that is that. If you blur the line or cross it altogether then that is when it starts to dominate your view towards sex in real life.
     
  4. Cowabanga

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    Moderation of everything is okay. I think porn can help in ways of opening up new technique for sex. I think before porn came along, most men didn't bother with foreplay, and most women didn't know about masterbation. I think like everything else there is good porn and bad porn. I really think it depend on the person ability to discern what is real and fantasy in porn. I think that is why study on this subject is harder to ascertain what effect it has on people. The high pleasure you get from arousal is definitely a chemical reaction from the brain and I do think that too much of it can make it harder to achieve orgasm, but also a balance amount of orgasm proven to be healthy for the heart and libido. Some people use the fantasy of the porn they watch to get arousal with their partner. Often couple watch it together, and have a great time.
     
  5. mexdude

    mexdude New Member

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    Nope, not by any chance, i just saw that history channel will have a special about sex paitings and such, in old civilizations, and its pretty much the same as todays porn, and just like in all the movies, real life its another thing than movies, just like when in movies u see that bullets are as good as air to the big invincible monster, in real life a bullet makes more damage than anyone would imagine
     
  6. D_Delbert Dingleberry

    D_Delbert Dingleberry Account Disabled

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    "Do you find that watching too much porn desensitizes sexual response and/or sets elevated expectations for your partners?"

    I'm not sure what porn is. When I was younger, there were movies and other stimuli that were not explicit in the depiction of sex that had a profound affect on me in the way that porn did. Causing arousal, producing fantasy after the exposure, conceptualizing what is sexually possible, setting boundaries....you need to define porn.

    And what is "too much porn."

    Listen: An absence of porn, or its equivalent produces some of the most sexually desensitized people I know. I could substitute another word for desensitized.

    You conflate porn with masturbation, I think. Sexual response is driven by imagination, and by physical normalization. You should isolate the two factors. If I watch porn and masturbate to a certain degree, my ability to experience other partnered sexual interaction is certainly affected. A certain amount of masturbation is in fact NECESSARY, in my humble opinion.

    Physical arousal is dominated by our mental perception and our sense of what is stimulating. That may include bringing to bear our naughtiest fantasies in our thought processes as we engage in sex. If that includes for some person anal sex, yet after hundreds of hours of watching anal sex it becomes more of a normal activity, an important component of our ability to feel aroused is diminished.

    But that assumes that our imaginations are a vessel of fixed capacity. When anal becomes pedestrian, how about anal with a BIG BLACK COCK?

    Or a BIG BLACK COCK while he's getting fucked dead up the crack of his ass with semen in his ear?

    And shit.

    And so on.

    Until having sex in the missionary position -- only for procreation, in a wholesome marriage, with the lights out and no sodomy, is so far out that it's fucking hot.

    Relative to creating unrealistic expectations: That could fill a book. Here's the summary: Porn is fake, staged and hard work. Nobody fucks like they do in porn. I've watched or been involved in fucking a lot of people. Nobody fucks like they do in porn. If you have anxiety that you are not measuring up to those performance standards, buy Ron Jeremy's book or any other of the good books about the industry. It's staged and it takes hours to produce and frankly, you shouldn't be watching it with your wife. Porn is for jacking off IMHO.


    "In real life few of us will have a porn star beauty as a partner (male or female) and I wonder if you find yourselves disappointed by your partners because of the expectations set by porn movies."

    Never.

    Ever.
    Never, ever, ever!

    Are you high?

    No.

    No fucking way. You did NOT ask that question.

    OK.

    Google Rosie Casals -- a really hot Latina tennis player. She's not a big woman, but she's a tennis player (which means she's HOT) and she's one of those heroes who made it possible for women's sport to blossom into an element of worldwide culture. She and Billie Jean King helped to make women's tennis the most popular women's sport.

    She's a hero of mine and I've rubbed out a lot of sweet smelling semen to the legs on that mujer hermosa.

    Good.

    I'm writing her and her charitable foundation and I'm tasking her with finding and smacking you for asking that question. Note: She's got a serious forehand. Duck.

    Listen: You need to either:

    Stop watching porn
    Or continue to watch it and internalize the fact that these are not people you should compare yourself to. They're actors. Selected and PREPARED to film scenes -- over a period of hours -- to seem as hot as possible. Most porn actresses are unatractive to me. One look at fake C or D cups, eyelash fortification, and skin that indicates exercise doesn't matter and I am turned off.

    The hottest porn actors are plain regular folk.

    "For instance, after watching a lot of porn do you find that it takes longer to achieve full arousal?"

    You're using it wrong. Here's the correct syntax.

    You feel like cuming.
    You get chunked up. Even hard.
    Find the lube.
    Take off your clothes.
    Turn on porn.
    Rub one out.

    If you need porn as step #1, there's your problem.

    "Do you find that you still achieve the same level of satisfaction with your partner that you did prior to watching porn? Are your orgasms less powerful and/or less frequent with your partner?"

    If you're with a partner, you shouldn't be watching porn. YOU'RE MAKING THE PORN.

    If you are sitting down with a partner and using porn to get aroused -- unless you've been married for a long time, you are with the wrong partner. That'd be like me meeting Jelena The Body Jankovic -- the woman with the lung inhalation killing smokingist body in tennis -- and she asks to go to my hotel room. Theoretically, my cock would demand so much blood flow my neocortex would be starved for oxygen and I'd be dead, but instead I order MILFs Gone Wild to watch it with her.

    I outa smack you my damn self for that question. If you're with a partner, turn the porn off.

    "What about body type – do you find that you’re comparing your partner to porn stars and finding flaws that perhaps you never noticed before resulting in dissatisfaction?"

    That's a restatement of the same question. Seriously, it can be positive to enjoy porn together, but in my experience, you need to be in a very secure and boring relationship to do that.

    "One of my concerns is that young people look to porn as a kind of how-to manual for sex, just like many of us did when we were younger. Only now porn seems more raw and violent. Are the movies today setting stereotypes that will carry over into adulthood? Few porn movies illustrate the intimacy, beauty and sensuality that sex can be between true lovers. I wonder if porn is rewiring our brains so that it makes experiencing that kind of intimacy and true closeness more difficult to achieve."

    Let's get this responded to crisply.

    1. You shouldn't be concerned with anyone's sexual socialization unless you can claim them as deductions on your income tax. Period. Please redirect that concern to more important concerns, if you will.

    2. There's no such thing as beauty, sensuality and all that other bullshit. There's finance, cumming and friendship -- those are your three ingredients in any lasting type relationship. Only one is required. Add The kids to that, although many would argue that they're a byproduct, not a requisite component.

    3. After Rosie smacks you, you fall, regain your wits and begin consideration of the physical challenges of getting back up to your feet, I ask that you remain on your knees and that you begin praying that our brains -- all of them -- do get rewired. It's our only hope. :biggrin1:

    Seriously: Yours was an interesting post. Thanks for being in the forum.
     
    #6 D_Delbert Dingleberry, Dec 10, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2010
  7. LadyJaneGrey

    LadyJaneGrey New Member

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    This meant to be funny?

    You think women need porn movies to open their eyes to the fact their hands reach their vaginas and clitorises?

    Then surely men would also need porn to teach them that it feels good when they 'pull on the plonker' wouldn't they?

    Just the same as little boys put their hands in their pants and fiddle with their penises little girls put their hands in their pants and fiddle too.

    You don't need a penis to fiddle.
     
  8. D_Harvey Schmeckel

    D_Harvey Schmeckel New Member

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    Porn per se is not the problem, but online porn with tens of thousands of choices seems to have hurt my attention span. It takes a real effort to stick with a single porn episode long enought to get off, rather than change the channel ten times. That constant scene-changing has gotten internalized and is now how my sexual imagination works even in the absence of porn. So am trying to stay more focused in jacking to porn, in hopes of likewise being more focused when fucking my partner.
     
  9. D_Edwin Eatser

    D_Edwin Eatser New Member

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    A few weeks back there was news of a survey conducted amongst young teenagers in UK. It found most girls thought they'd be expected to have anal sex, take part in group-sex, and remove all their pubic hair in order to keep up with the demands of boys. The girls concerned thought this was quite normal and expected of females. The survey concluded this was due to the widespread availability of porn amongst kids of this age-group.

    Did men cum on women's faces before porn suggested it? Hard to imagine my grandparents doing that! I guess men pulled out as a form of birth control in the past, but you almost get the feeling every fuck should end with a pull-out, you see lots of this in swinging clubs. Again, it's all down to porn.
     
  10. FuzzyKen

    FuzzyKen New Member

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    Porn is by it's nature designed to increase arousal in the viewer. For some it does that and nothing else. The one thing however about porn is that it is total fantasy and people don't always realize this.

    If there is a problem it lies not in the reality, but in the lack of the recognition of the fantasy aspects.

    One of the largest examples for men is penis size. Most porn actors in gay porn for example are chosen for certain physical characteristics. As a general rule they are physically small men with slightly above average penises. Porn publicity however will paint a picture of these men as if they were of average size.

    Charlie Peyton/Jeff Stryker is less than 5'6" tall. I met him several times in West Hollywood as we had a mutual acquaintence there. He had small hands and the muscular body proportion he had gave many illusions. In truth his penis was probably at best about 6.5 - 7 inches based on great camera angles and other tricks.

    The late "Lance" was another one. He often appeared with the late Leo Hilgeford (Leo Ford) and both of these guys were very small people. Neither one weighed over 135 pounds at their best. Again small men proportions that made them look larger than they were and penis size that was mildly larger than average. Lance left us as a result of HIV and Leo was killed when his motorcycle was struck by a drunk in Silverlake off of Sunset Blvd. The only one who really was what the pictures and film showed was the late Dan Westling (Ed Wiley) Dan left us only a few years ago and was a good friend. He spent his last days in Palm Springs and he spent his final Thanksgiving at our dinner table. Dan was about 6'0" tall and weighted about 170 pounds. He was truly a nice guy.

    In men the main illusion is penis size and this is detrimental in that it makes many men feel totally small or not adequate to get the job done when in fact they may be larger than the guy on the screen. The guy on the screen has a great deal of help making him look larger.

    In reality the majority of females are photographed using similar but different techniques. Breasts that are not out and out silicone specials when large are often larger than average and attached to a disproportionately small body.

    In porn one of the things they want to do for the most part is to move your concentration to the genital areas of the body of the actors male and female. In straight porn they often will pick male and female combinations to do exactly that. The people will be very average with the exceptions of their genitals and those will in some way draw your attention.

    Another trick used on porn sets are intra cavernosal injections. An average penis can be made to look a whole lot larger if the actor has been given an IC injection just before the shooting starts. If they want him flaccid in the beginning they shoot him and then let his co-star work him up. An IC injection if formulated right can make a penis a great deal harder than required for penetration or what one would normally have. Again this perpetuates an illusion. In straight porn the guy can in fact do a number of women in line and still will not lose the erection. This can then be edited and great acting makes the cum shots. It has other advantages in that actors can couple with people that they may personally not find attractive. In addition one can place a gay male actor on a straight porn set and with a shot he can go like gangbusters.

    The problem is that in a percentage of individuals these illusions lead to feelings that they are not adequate in their performance, their appearance or other things and that can be a detriment.

    As long as the people watching know that they are real and the porn is not, they are fine. There was a time I was a porn junkie and now I rarely use it. Visual porn to me is boring and having known people in the business a long time ago the illusion for me really does not work.

    The main thing with porn is to remember that it is not real in any manner.
     
  11. ArtofDesire

    ArtofDesire New Member

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    Thank you all. I appreciate your well thought out responses to my post. The question popped into my mind after talking with some folks that mentioned having performance anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy and I wondered if watching porn might have something to do with those feelings.

    Good responses!

    Being new to the forum I appreciate your taking the time to post a reply. I'm looking forward to developing new friendships here. Feel free to PM me if there's ever any question about something I've posted. I am open to talking.
     
  12. ArtofDesire

    ArtofDesire New Member

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    Another question: Do you think that straight porn is demeaning to women?

    For instance, it seems to me that the women are always dominated by the men rather than showing a woman topping a man. Now don't get me wrong, I adore being dominated and taken roughly sometimes, but do you honestly expect to cum all over your woman's face as is so often portrayed in the movies? Guys, try to put yourself in the woman's place, would you want that done to you?
     
    #12 ArtofDesire, Dec 10, 2010
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2010
  13. Bbucko

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    Demeaning? Not necessarily: but porn objectifies all of its participants, male and female alike. More than half of the porn on my external hard drive (about 400 gigs) features women in one capacity or another, and I've never felt that any of them were demeaned as much as glorified. In fact, one of my pet peeves about straight porn is when they don't show the men's faces: just torsos, dicks, asses and legs. IMO, such porn objectifies males to the point of being nearly dehumanized; in contrast, the female is front and center and glorified, even in (especially in) a gangbang.

    As a consumer of porn for well over 30 years, I do not believe that it's become more violent. However, I think that the internet makes the relatively small quantity of extreme porn that's produced much more accessible to more people. The overwhelming majority of porn is still quite vanilla, just like it always was. And, as FuzzyKen points out, anyone who doesn't understand that porn is show biz and illusion is delusional; IMO such people aren't mature enough to watch it, but that's another story.
     
  14. D_Jared Padalicki

    D_Jared Padalicki Account Disabled

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    I "learned" stuff from porn, but most from reading stuff.
    I didn't had high (s)expectations from my first bedpartner. There were expectations, but not based on experience etc.
    And porn didn't gave me the wrong idea of sex, because having sex with someone and connecting with someone during sex is so different than what pornactors do.
    And yes, you try stuff you saw in porn, but you don't do them so "professionaly" as it looks in porn. But that is just the fun part of it, because for example 69 with one person is so much different with another person, so every single time it will be a discovery.
    And I don't have problems with getting arroused. It's very easy for me, but maybe that is age :rolleyes:
     
  15. D_Edwin Eatser

    D_Edwin Eatser New Member

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    Agree a lot of porn is for male consumption and feeds male fantasies, and facials have been few and far between in my sex life, usually as a fun thing to do occasionally when both of us are feeling 'naughty'. Many women I've been with enjoy porn and enjoy watching women dominated, but some porn uses women as objects rather than individuals, and that's less appealing to them. Over here we have a female porn director, Anna Span, who produces porn for women - lots of seduction, kissing etc, and even this ends in good hard fucking, but creampie-ing rather than facials. My wife likes this porn very much.
     
  16. Wrat

    Wrat New Member

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    I have to admit here that my partner is a beauty. She is everything a guy could want in a porn star.
    Just sayin'. It's not all fantasy.
     
  17. Thenavigatorcometh

    Thenavigatorcometh New Member

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    Porn exists to make money - that is an in-escapable fact of life, they dont do it for any other reason - period.

    Do not confuse Porn with erotica or sensuality - wait a minute that's confusing!

    Yes i do think, if I think about porn too much I start to lose wood, it's much more powerful if I think of a previous good experience. That goes beyond porn, what a woman (or man) says is in porn too predictable, etc. What a real woman(or man) says is often different.

    Thing is reality kicks in, in porn they cannot tell you what a good pussy smells like, it cannot replicate the feeling of a woman squirting all over you or the feeling and the scent of woman clamping her huge black breasts around your head and teling you that she loves you....

    I like Porn but you can't beat the real thing!
     
  18. ArtofDesire

    ArtofDesire New Member

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    Hmm, I should see if I can find any of Anna Span's movies. Being a straight female I prefer to have the camera focused on the male rather than the female when I watch.
     
  19. sexysharpay

    sexysharpay Member

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    The worst thing that porn does is sugarcoat sex. Porn doesn't reveal just how truly deeply disgusting and messy sex really is.
     
  20. B_ILIW

    B_ILIW New Member

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    It depends how one sees it.

    Porn if used just as a filler is fine. But it never should be seen as a depiction of sex, at least in a real life sense. It's entertainment above all else, not a tutorial lol...
     
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