Is revenge a good thing?

[joeyjoe123]

Hi people,

Had a crazy relationship, what would you do......

About five months ago i met a girl(bev) in a nightclub, we swapped numbers and text then on for a few weeks. I knew she was in a relationship but i have many women friends and so i thought why not another.

3 weeks later she said her boyfriend had moved out with another woman and invited me to stay at her mums, her mum said ' i wont tell anyone' i found that weird because she was 'single'. We went to her mums because she lived with her sister and bevs boyfriend who had apparently left, and she did not want her sister to see her with another man straight away, fair enough.

We carried on seeing each other but i never got an invite to her sisters, i found this strange. I always thought he could still live their because she never answered the phone when he wouldnt have been at work. She always made excuses and finally confessed he still lived their. I was mad but she then moved in with her mum and we became inseperable.

We argued quite a bit after a while, her ex bf had a very good job and they had a big circle of friends, i was never invited into this group.

We ended three weeks ago and she contacted me a week later and said she had an abortion, we slept together a few times last week and tonight she has gone away with her 'ex'!

Now what to do next...... This might sound vindictive and mean but i would love to message him and tell him the whole truth! Is that a bad thing, it would make me feel better cos she has done us both over! It would also clear my confusion as i am just puzzled.

I am puzzled because she always lied constantly and only bothered with me when she had no one until we started more or less living together, i feel used and its doing my head in!

Any help/advice will be appreciated.

 

[nudeyorker]

I've said this before in the other revenge threads and I'm sticking with it as the best possible advice....

This has been brought up here a few times before. I think the best revenge is getting on with your life and become very happy and successful. If your paths should cross again it makes them feel horrible.

 

[joeyjoe123]

I've said this before in the other revenge threads and I'm sticking with it as the best possible advice....

What if it eats away at you? What if your head is up your a@@. I know it was only 5 months but she played me for a fool. Thanks for your advice though

 

[nudeyorker]

I understand how you feel as I have also felt that way before. It's important to find a healthy outlet to get it out of your system. I go to a gun club and shoot at targets or go to the gym.
It makes you feel better to get your frustration out. But it's more important to not let someone live rent free in your head and have them nag at you, because it hurts you not them.

 

[joeyjoe123]

Yea that good advice and i appreciate it. Its knowing i can hurt her 'ex' as much as im hurting which makes me feel better, its strange because i never want to hurt anyone. I dont know what to do! she text me today saying she loved me. I think its games but who knows

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

NudeYorker has given good advice. As a matter of fact, I've given the same advice before.
My philosophy is "Success is the best revenge."

Go to a gym, do yard work, do something productive to get all that energy out of your system. You have to get over her and the best way to do that is to stay busy.
Hang with your friends...

Move on and move upward...

PS IMO, you should block her from your text and have no contact with her. It only opens the wound and you will never heal as long as you keep in touch with her.

And her ex?? Oh, he will get his one day, I'm sure...
your best bet is to feel good that you got out of a horrible situation and he's still stuck in it... (he's the sucker, not you!)

 

[nudeyorker]

It's games please move on. You want to hurt her ex? What if then he wants to hurt you for hurting him? There is no winning in this unless you walk away and work on recovering from a bad relationship; the sooner you move on the sooner you will be able to have a "Normal" relationship. If you insist on traveling with her down crazy lane you are going to be the looser in this.

 

[joeyjoe123]

Thankyou fancypants and nudeyorker you have been very helpful. I think your right i need to get on with it because who knows what my revenge will trigger off. Thankyou.

 

[Incocknito]

Just forget about her. The boyfriend is more likely to just twat you for sleeping with her. How often have you seen a person who's been cheated on go mad at the partner who cheated?

On Jeremy Kyle, Jerry Springer, in real life...they always have anger towards the person who their partner cheated with.

And yes block her number/texts. You can do this easily on Android with an app like GBlocker.

https://market.android.com/details?id=com.guardam.blocker&feature=related_apps

A bit more difficult if you don't have an Android phone

The best revenge is for you to ignore her and don't give her the attention she wants.

 

[sexplease]

Waste not a moment of your only life. walk away, head high and heart full of yet undiscovered love and hope for your future.

 

[Bbucko]

Revenge never works out they way you plan, and you're inevitably the one seething with anger wile your principle victims have already moved on.

Let it go!

 

[_Jonesy]

The best revenge that always works is to make them see you are literally not fussed. That always eats away at them. I know how it feels, trust me, though I am young I feel like I have beaten up and life will keep you on the floor if you let it. Get up and move on pal.

From your story it sounds like you should have seen the rebound bounce coming. You got a few cheeky lays out of it, and you may love her. I've been in the same situation, but believe me you come out stronger and you will not do it again. That is why I could see it from the first 2 paragraphs you described.

She wanted to use you, don't let her win. Let her go, don't care. There are SO many other girls out there man! What she did to you is cruel, just be thankful you got to escape.

As for revenge, I am saying don't although myself I am struggling to follow my own advice sometimes. But you shouldn't. Whatever you're planning; is this girl worth that much to you to potentially (depending on how far you take it) lost years off your life for in jail?

Definitely not. Drop that girl.

 

[psidom]

revenge may soothe the sting of betrayal but...
it does not enlighten her, and that is the real sting.

she will burn herself down.
trust that.
:raincloud:

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I will go against the grain and say revenge is a dish best served cold.

 

[willow78]

Don't do it.

Telling the boyfriend would only hurt HIM - and he's as much a victim of her antics as you are. Get on with your life and let her go.

 

[airc3]

Revenge on your enemies is what makes life fucking worth living

 

[psidom]

Revenge on your enemies is what makes life fucking worth living

lol...not forgiving someone is like taking the poison and expecting the other person to die.

 

[_Jonesy]

lol...not forgiving someone is like taking the poison and expecting the other person to die.

Unless you have nothing to lose, in which case it is more like euthanasia.

 

[Remington]

Success is the best revenge.

 

[B_625girth]

so if you tell the other guy and he beats the fuck out of you for fucking his woman, how revengeful will that be??

I think I would just move on, vow never to have anything to do with that woman ever again in your life.