Is Sex Ruined for Sex Workers?

earllogjam

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This might be a bit off-topic because I was responding to the 'people who've had many sex partners' comment, and I've never been paid for sex. But since you asked:

Sex lost its intimacy and importance at that point in my life. I was looking for acceptance, intimacy and a sense of importance to men in general. I always equated sexual desire to power. It wasn't an intimate act shared between two people who want to show deep feelings of love, passion, etc. to one another. It was just a quick fuck, I felt fulfilled for a very short time afterwards (usually until the buzz wore off) and then felt like a complete piece of garbage. I thought that if a man chose to share his body with me, that surely it must be because I meant something .. When in reality it was the exact opposite. Most men that have casual sex with you care nothing about you. They're just tired of fucking their hand, simple as that. It took me a long time to understand and stop sleeping around with random men for an imaginary shot of power.

Thanks amiegrrl for your candor. I notice in myself that I can do the act but whether it is fulfilling or not depends on what is in my head about the other person. I mean the orgasm is the same, the physical sensations are the same but it's the mental connection which makes all the difference in the world on how satisfying the sex is. I think trust has a lot to do it for me. I don't think I could easily fake having satifying sex as a sex-worker - to fool yourself so to your own conceit.
 

vibratingfinger

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I hate the way the arguments are being presented here. It makes it sound like prostitution is a real option for women. Reality is that it's a filthy high risk job that usually comes with minimal reward for most. High class escorts which "supposedly" make a decent living are a very small percentage of sex workers. Most girls who go into this business don't have the looks, wits, education and experience to pull that off. Even among those who do have those qualities few are prepared to deal with the challenges that are associated with it. Satisfying a group of psychologically unstable men with all kinds of strange fetishes is not a job. It's torture.

I find it interesting that whenever an actual study is done to measure the quality of life of prostitutes, strippers and the likes the findings show that on average their standards are very poor. Yet we always see these personal anectodes suggesting that you could make $750 an hour by selling your body to strangers. Now porn is a whole separate discussion.
 

LouisVauban

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I find it interesting that whenever an actual study is done to measure the quality of life of prostitutes, strippers and the likes the findings show that on average their standards are very poor. Yet we always see these personal anectodes suggesting that you could make $750 an hour by selling your body to strangers. Now porn is a whole separate discussion.

I didn't realize this was a quality-of-life thread. And I assure you that the small percentage of high-end call girls have a VERY nice quality of life (financially).

As for the "anecdote" of a girl making $750/hr, you know very little of which you speak. As I mentioned, I worked a phone booker for a high-end service. This is hardly an anecdote. While most of the girls who worked for us made $500/hr (Meaning the client pays $750-$1K), our "elite girls" made $750-1K per hour (Meaning the client pays 1-2K for an hour, or if it was a nice regular client, we'd charge $2K for the session of 2 hours and the girl walked away with $1500 for 2 hours). There was one girl that worked for us that commanded $2k/hr for HER... She didn't work much, but there would be an occasional trust-fund baby that would ant-up $3K for an hour's session.

This is an industry I know VERY well. So please, be careful about labeling things as "anecdotes."

I know one girl who dances at a high-end club in NYC. She's given up the call-girl business because she's making much more money in the "private lounge" at the dance club. She has made in excess of $10K on a singularly good night with some heavy hitters. That's not EVERY night, but it illustrates the amount of money that CAN be made.
 

vibratingfinger

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I didn't realize this was a quality-of-life thread. And I assure you that the small percentage of high-end call girls have a VERY nice quality of life (financially).

As for the "anecdote" of a girl making $750/hr, you know very little of which you speak. As I mentioned, I worked a phone booker for a high-end service. This is hardly an anecdote. While most of the girls who worked for us made $500/hr (Meaning the client pays $750-$1K), our "elite girls" made $750-1K per hour (Meaning the client pays 1-2K for an hour, or if it was a nice regular client, we'd charge $2K for the session of 2 hours and the girl walked away with $1500 for 2 hours). There was one girl that worked for us that commanded $2k/hr for HER... She didn't work much, but there would be an occasional trust-fund baby that would ant-up $3K for an hour's session.

This is an industry I know VERY well. So please, be careful about labeling things as "anecdotes."

I know one girl who dances at a high-end club in NYC. She's given up the call-girl business because she's making much more money in the "private lounge" at the dance club. She has made in excess of $10K on a singularly good night with some heavy hitters. That's not EVERY night, but it illustrates the amount of money that CAN be made.

I don't doubt your expertise on high end prostitution. I just hate the way the argument was being presented. You made it sound like that prostitution is an option that people can use to make a lot of easy money. But the truth is very few girls actually end up making that kind of money. You said it yourself. Only small percentage of call girls have a high quality of life. That's just for call girls. Majority of sex workers are street hookers. Those gals barely make a living.
 

B_chinagirl73

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I worked as a hooker for about 3 months.

Any discussion of it in lpsg.org would be futile. Everyone here is more interested in phoney disorders invented by inept psychologists and then described on an unreviewed internet dictionary. And everyone is an amateur psychologist it seems

It was an option I chose freely, and I genuinely liked the work. The sex was good but it is nothing like sex you have for free! I think it is a bit like being a waitress. You smile, be sweet, and make the clients feel as happy as you possibly can - and if you like people (and I do) you get a buzz from their satisfaction.

Everyone wants to talk about it in purely psychological terms. But we are physical as well, and our bodies respond in a way independent of our psychology sometimes. Many, many orgasms may be had on a good day!

Did it spoil sex for me? No.
 

vibratingfinger

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psychologists, pychotherapists, doctors, sexologists, scientists, researchers, social workers, sociologists they are all phonies with fake education and fancy meaningless degrees who haven't got a clue how world works. As far as I'm concerned the earth is flat and the clitoris doesn't exist. Whoever comes up with this nonsense.
 

earllogjam

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I worked as a hooker for about 3 months.

Any discussion of it in lpsg.org would be futile. Everyone here is more interested in phoney disorders invented by inept psychologists and then described on an unreviewed internet dictionary. And everyone is an amateur psychologist it seems

It was an option I chose freely, and I genuinely liked the work. The sex was good but it is nothing like sex you have for free! I think it is a bit like being a waitress. You smile, be sweet, and make the clients feel as happy as you possibly can - and if you like people (and I do) you get a buzz from their satisfaction.

Everyone wants to talk about it in purely psychological terms. But we are physical as well, and our bodies respond in a way independent of our psychology sometimes. Many, many orgasms may be had on a good day!

Did it spoil sex for me? No.

Thanks for posting China. It's nice to get a first hand view on these things as we are so filled with negative perceptions of sex-work in general. Can I ask you why you quit and why you think some workers go psycholgically unscathed as you and others succumb to mental disorders and shame?
 

Girth girl

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I don't doubt your expertise on high end prostitution. I just hate the way the argument was being presented. You made it sound like that prostitution is an option that people can use to make a lot of easy money. But the truth is very few girls actually end up making that kind of money. You said it yourself. Only small percentage of call girls have a high quality of life. That's just for call girls. Majority of sex workers are street hookers. Those gals barely make a living.

Yes, because the vast majority of street girls are drug addicts that haven't got their addiction under control to work in a brothel.
 

Girth girl

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Thank You, Girth_Girl!

As someone who has worked in the biz, I have seen a wide spectrum of reasons and whyfores... It's a JOB!

I have seen: "damaged" girls (sexually molested in youth), smart girls (they need their days free to audition for parts, etc... these often use the biz wisely and get out), very smart girls (college tuition for law degree, etc), single moms barely getting by, wives of men in jail, writers getting "hand-on" experience, nymphos who actually LOVE their job, lesbians (who are somehow "getting back" at men), girls who are taking care of a sick loved one and needs BIG Cash, or immigrants who aren't allowed to work in the regular work force.

For all, it's just economics. Plain and simple. It's not for everyone. And some people get very uptight about the topic. But, where I worked (as a phone booker) a girl could make up to $750 per hour. Some are very good at it, some are not. And for the very accomplished girls, it's all about playing pretend... making a man feel as if he has a no-strings girlfriend... it's not all about sex....

And I have heard, on many occasion, a girl exclaim, "I just need to get laid." Translation: When one is on the clock, it's just sex. Making love is reserved for personal time.


Exactly, it is all about the show....
 

B_chinagirl73

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Thanks for posting China. It's nice to get a first hand view on these things as we are so filled with negative perceptions of sex-work in general. Can I ask you why you quit and why you think some workers go psycholgically unscathed as you and others succumb to mental disorders and shame?

earlogjam,

I agree that it is a world that is negatively perceived by many - and you don't have to look very far to see all of the negative stuff people talk about (Its all there!). But everyone's different - as pointed out by an earlier poster - and there are literally girls who do it for fun - they don't even need the money. I was virtually in that bracket.

I can't answer your other questions - honestly? We all go into it with different backgrounds and experiences, we all emerge from it differently. I seriously don't think do-gooders help much when they start banging on about the horrors of prostititution because it feeds into the victim mentality of some. When you sugges that some like me escaped mental disorders - I have friends who would argue with you about that! But I had those disorders before I was a hooker. And shame? I dealt with the shame thing years ago!
 

Girth girl

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I hate the way the arguments are being presented here. It makes it sound like prostitution is a real option for women. Reality is that it's a filthy high risk job that usually comes with minimal reward for most. High class escorts which "supposedly" make a decent living are a very small percentage of sex workers. Most girls who go into this business don't have the looks, wits, education and experience to pull that off. Even among those who do have those qualities few are prepared to deal with the challenges that are associated with it. Satisfying a group of psychologically unstable men with all kinds of strange fetishes is not a job. It's torture.

I find it interesting that whenever an actual study is done to measure the quality of life of prostitutes, strippers and the likes the findings show that on average their standards are very poor. Yet we always see these personal anectodes suggesting that you could make $750 an hour by selling your body to strangers. Now porn is a whole separate discussion.

I mean, even $150 an hour is dam good money. Get off your high horse and consider the economics and prostitution as work argument because you'll find that not many women who aren't at the elite of their profession can make even 60 an hour let alone $150. $150 is great money for a women with run of the mill skills.

As for your question on the studies, there have been many and it generally doesn't differ much in comparison to working class women and drug addicted women who don't work in the industry. If anything, having access to cash makes their life easier. In all studies on prostitution you have to engage with what quality actually indicates and the morality people attach to the profession (this thread is a great example of it).
 

B_chinagirl73

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Thanks for posting China. It's nice to get a first hand view on these things as we are so filled with negative perceptions of sex-work in general. Can I ask you why you quit and why you think some workers go psycholgically unscathed as you and others succumb to mental disorders and shame?

Why did I quit? Well, it was only ever going to be short termish - like one year max - a working holiday. Then I got an amazing job offer back home delivered to me by email. It is one of those crazy ironies that life throws at you: You are being a whore on the other side of the world and back home soemone wants you to be a university lecturer!
 

nakedwally

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Does sex just become a bodily function like going to the bathroom when you do it for a job? Or does becoming a sexual technican enhance your private sex life?

If you had to make a living providing sex don't you think that it would become a chore and ruin any chances of having a meaningful sex life with someone you love? Or is sex an unlimited thing that can easily shared with people you don't love and do love?

Opinions?


I have done it in the past and have to agree that it does seem more like a chore when getting paid to do it, i don't do it anymore and sex is much more enjoyable
 

upone

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What is borderline personality disorder?
Is this a fancy term meaning that you try to escape or justify what you are doing by not being yourself anymore?
No, Borderline Personality Disorder is unfortunately a very serious mental illness.

Yes, sorry I didn't say more about it. BPD is one of the few mental illnesses that has a predictable death rate; about 15% of women who have it die before age 40, either from suicide or murder. It is considered treatable but not curable. There are a lot of characteristics that haven't been quantified. For instance, when describing the "high risk behavior" most manuals talk about reckless driving, gambling, drugs, and sex. There are very, very few BPD victims who drive recklessly or gamble, but a huge percentage who take drugs and fuck. Note that 35% of women arrested for sex work in the US have BPD; that means most of them were street walkers. Probably the best known BPD woman recently was Linda Boreman, a/k/a Linda Lovelace. Her biography is an outline of BPD life.
 

vibratingfinger

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I mean, even $150 an hour is dam good money. Get off your high horse and consider the economics and prostitution as work argument because you'll find that not many women who aren't at the elite of their profession can make even 60 an hour let alone $150. $150 is great money for a women with run of the mill skills.

As for your question on the studies, there have been many and it generally doesn't differ much in comparison to working class women and drug addicted women who don't work in the industry. If anything, having access to cash makes their life easier. In all studies on prostitution you have to engage with what quality actually indicates and the morality people attach to the profession (this thread is a great example of it).

You make too many assumptions. I'm an atheist and religious morals mean nothing to me. I don't give a damn what kind of activities two consenting adults engage in and what kind of financial transaction takes place for those activities. As far as I'm concerned everything in life has an opportunity cost and if someone can get a dollar value for the time they spent with whoever, then all the more power to them. Heck if I got paid for bringing someone to an orgasm I think I'd be motivated to do a better job at it. I'm merely interested in economics and the sociological aspects the situation. I'm concerned about human rights and welfare of individuals. When it comes prostitution no matter where you live, the impact that prostitution has on both of those catagories have been catastrophical. Globally, it's even worse. Prostitution is the number reason for sex trafficking. It has brought so much misery to the lives of so many women (and young men) who are slaves to their abductors. Walk into any bar in Istanbul or club in Dubai as a single man and I guarantee it won't take more than half an hour before you are approached by a shady looking Russian or Arab presenting you with a wide selection of women. All the brands you like, chinese, romanian, russian whichever takes your fancy, he has it for you. I've know this cuz I've been to those places and have encountered this on many occasions. It's also one of the biggest contributing factors to the spread of HIV/AIDS in Africa and south and south east Asia. That's just looking at it globally.


As for all those super smart gals who choose prostitution as their career at their own free will, I hope by the time they approach their 40s toothless and wrinkled they have amassed a lot of wealth. Cuz by that time the demand for them has gone down considerably and they wouldn't be able to continue their glamerous lives without that bank account. And those younger girls who joined the industry with temporary status in their teens to pay off their tuition(since it's so hard to take out a loan despite being smart enough to get into law school) and bills I hope they were persuasive and mature enough to stay healthy and out of trouble. And I hope they have the mental fortitude to live with their choice later in life cuz unlike me most people I've met tend to get more "moral" as they age. Afterall, not even Mrs. Warren wanted her daughter to have anything to do with her profession or even know about it. And she was a high class whore too.