Is She(Hillary) a Trojan Rabbit?

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by sargon20, May 11, 2008.

  1. sargon20

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    Maureen is so hilarious......

    May 11, 2008
    Op-Ed Columnist
    Is She a Trojan Rabbit?

    By MAUREEN DOWD
    WASHINGTON

    Now Barack Obama faces a true dilemma: how best to punish Hillary Clinton.

    After 15 months of fighting her off, as she veered wildly from bully to victim, as she brandished any ice pick at hand, whether racial, sexual, mathematical or marital (in the form of her Vesuvian husband), Obama must decide the most efficacious means of doing to Hillary what she has been trying to do to him: putting her in her place.

    Her last resort is to continue to press the “Psssst — he’s a black man” tactic. She insisted to USAToday, after the North Carolina and Indiana slide, that she has a broader base, citing an Associated Press article “that found how Senator Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.”

    So how does Obama repay Hillary for running a campaign designed both to unman him and brand him as an unelectable black? Is the most ingenious way to turn the screw by not choosing her as his running mate, or by choosing her?

    It is, verily, a sticky wicket.

    One top Hillary supporter who is black warns that, despite the giddy dreams of some punch-drunk Democrats, a fusion ticket could backfire because “Americans can’t handle too much change at once.”

    But should Obama ignore that caution and appease Hillary fans by putting her on the ticket?

    As president, he could announce that, because Dick Cheney abused the powers of his office so grievously, taking the title “Vice” literally, he intends to shrink the vice presidency back to its “bucket of warm spit” Constitutional prerogatives — presiding over the Senate and taking over if the president goes under anesthesia.

    He might also neglect to give Bill (whose acronym would be SLOTUS, Second Lad of the United States) full White House access.

    Aside from the delight Bill would get from living at the Naval Observatory and having a huge telescope to window-peep with, there wouldn’t be much joy in Hillaryland.

    The lady-in-waiting would be surrounded by Obama disciples who disdained her for fighting dirty. And she would be miserable holding up the train of the young prince who usurped her dream, derailing the post-nup she had with Bill to trade places.

    As de facto veep for Bill, she had enough leverage over him, due to his shenanigans, to co-opt huge chunks of policy and personnel decisions.

    But in a return engagement with Obama at the top, could she really wake up every day in the back seat and wish him well, or would she just be plotting? (Fourteen vice presidents have ascended, after all.) Wouldn’t she be, in Monty Python parlance, the Trojan Rabbit behind the gates?

    On a positive note, maybe she could bring back all that stuff she pilfered on her way out.

    Obama’s other option, laid out by Teddy Kennedy on Friday, is to go with someone who wouldn’t be a big dark cloud over his sunshiny new politics.
    Teddy told Bloomberg’s Al Hunt that Obama should choose a partner “in tune with his appeal for the nobler aspirations of the American people.”

    That would be smart for another reason: Hillary has a strange, unnerving effect on Obama, and whenever he is around her, he’s unable to do his best. Probably, it’s because she’s furious, always shaking his hand off her arm, ignoring him, giving him the evil eye and emasculating him, and the Golden One is not used to such rough treatment.

    In the last few days, as Hillary has deflated and Obama and the Democrats have dashed for daylight, he has been more like his old self, flashing his all-is-right-with-the-world smile on the cover of Time, joshing and charming Democrats and Republicans as he wooed superdelegates on the House floor, taking on James Carville for insulting his manhood.

    “James Carville is well known for spouting off his mouth without always knowing what he’s talking about,” he told Terry Moran on “Nightline.”

    Obama will never be at his best around Hillary; she drains him of his magical powers. She’s Jane Jinx to him. It’s a similar syndrome to the one Katharine Hepburn’s star athlete and her supercilious fiancé have in “Pat and Mike.”

    The fiancé is always belittling Hepburn, so whenever he’s in the stands, her tennis and golf go kerflooey. Finally, her manager, played by Spencer Tracy, asks the fiancé to stay away from big matches, explaining, “You are the wrong jockey for this chick.”

    “You know, except when you’re around, we got a very valuable piece of property here,” he says, later adding, “When you’re around, she’s no good, she’s dead, see?”

    The best way Obama can punish Hillary is to reward himself. He’s no good around her, see?
     
  2. D_Thoraxis_Biggulp

    D_Thoraxis_Biggulp New Member

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    The best way to put her in her place is for him to just keep dodging bullets the way he is. More and more people are starting to realize that she's crazy. She's like John Kerry on crystal meth.
    Hell, before I left Tennessee, the uberfeminist Hillarites at my work had gotten a lot less vocal about her candidacy. Of course, they only conceded to the idea of her being Obama's VP because "it'd just take one bullet to take that nigger out, then she'd be in charge." But still, if that's the kind of following she has, it's just even more evidence that she's batshit crazy.
     
  3. Industrialsize

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    Just IGNORE her......
     
  4. sargon20

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  5. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I'm not so sure I'd like Hillary in my oval office. Every time she'd come in I'd see her looking around thinking, 'I should be here... just eight more years!,' while she arranges for a bunch of slow motorcades in open cars for me. Imagine having the VP's husband walk around the oval office saying, "I remember when...," and then asking to sit in the big chair just for old times' sake.

    It'd be pretty creepy and make the Clintons look like they've been demoted every time they walk out to some photo op behind the Obamas.
     
  6. HazelGod

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  7. swordfishME

    swordfishME Member

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    Oh, please- Like Bill and Hillary would ever have to actually live at the observatory.

    If Obama offers her the number two spot on the ticket and then actualy wins the general, he will have met his maker long before inaguration day.
     
  8. sargon20

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    Well that's a nice thought.
     
  9. D_Kaye Throttlebottom

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    Are you saying that Hillary will have Obama terminated or there is someone out there that hates Obama more than Hillary?
     
  10. swordfishME

    swordfishME Member

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    If he is stupid enough to offer her the VEEP spot he might as well save everyone the trouble and just kill himself.
     
  11. Industrialsize

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    obama and clinton are like vinegar and oil.they don't mix
     
  12. B_Nick4444

    B_Nick4444 New Member

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    :eek: had been thinking of coming over to the Democratic Party, but ...:eek:
     
  13. nick22ca

    nick22ca Member

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    Wait a second, let me get this straight...there are actually politically passionate Americans that think there are tangible differences between Obama and Hillary? Or, between Democrats and Republicans, for that matter? Well God bless all your politicking hearts.

    Apathy is so misunderstood.
     
  14. Principessa

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    No, you ninny. The unstated until now; but commonly held belief is that America is far too racist to ever have a black President. Therefore any black person elected to office can expect to be assasinated.

    If Obama wins the nomination the best thing he can do to ensure he survives his term is to appoint Bill Richardson. If he has a white vice president there will more than likely be an attempt made on his life. It doesn't matter to the narrow-minded racists who the white person is, just that it's a white person.
     
  15. D_Thoraxis_Biggulp

    D_Thoraxis_Biggulp New Member

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    Hey, I was just talking about people like you. Speak of the devil, and somebody will say something incredibly fucking stupid.
     
  16. B_VinylBoy

    B_VinylBoy New Member

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    Chris Rock jokes about the same thing in his stand up routines. He says that he wouldn't want to be the first Black president. He'd rather be the second one because the first one would be... shot. Kinda sad in some ways to believe this, but I think everyone has this sick feeling in the back of their minds.
     
  17. swordfishME

    swordfishME Member

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    You are the incredibly fucking stupid one if you don't think that this is seriously possible.
     
  18. D_Thoraxis_Biggulp

    D_Thoraxis_Biggulp New Member

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    It's possible for any President to get assassinated. Just because he's African American honestly won't make any difference. The racist would-be assassins are no smarter than any others who have ever tried and failed. Thinking he's more likely to get assassinated because of his race is a huge insult to White House Security.
     
  19. Principessa

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  20. sargon20

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    The Secret Service/Homeland Security would have to be foolish to not think it a real possibility. No matter how far the US has come as a whole we can be sure not everyone in the US has come along as well.
     
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