Is she just being nice?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Imported, Jul 17, 2005.

  1. Imported

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    xmarine: First I suppose I should introduce myself: I've been coming to this board for almost a year now, but I never really posted for some reason, I guess I didn't really have anything I really wanted to say/ask. This seems to be one of the most open boards on the internet, so now that I have a confusing situation I thought I'd look for input here.
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    My girlfriend is a sweet, kind, gentle, considerate person. Sometimes I'm not sure if she is telling me how she really feels, or just being nice.

    I am kind of paranoid about being manipulated due to previous relationships, and I think in my current relationship, it must get fairly tiring for my girlfriend to have to keep telling me "yes I really feel this way". Here are some examples:

    When we were first intimate she would have an orgasm and I'd ask if she had one (I had previous partners fake it). She'd respond really strongly saying yes it was wonderful etc. and I would ask:"Really?" :p

    Sometimes after being intimate we cuddle really close and, because I'm trying to catch my breath, I breath a lot of really hot air on her, which could obviously be uncomfortable. I always try to breath it up above or to the side so its not directly on her, even though she says it doesnt bother her at all.

    Likewise I always shave again before I go to bed so that the stubble doesnt irritate her. You guessed it, she tells me it's not neccessary, it doesnt bother her.

    I've asked her if it's the type of situation where this stuff isn't neccessary, but she appreciates it. She always says that she appreciates the intention but that none of this bothers her at all, and it's not neccessary.

    Being a man I'd like not shave and just take everything at face value, but because of my previous experiences with women, I always think I'm being manipulated. I know this can't be healthy, especially when I've finally found someone who isnt manipulative!

    I'm interested in responses from women:
    -Is it possible that a woman really doesnt mind getting sand papered by stubble and heated up by hot air when she's trying to cool down?

    Of coarse i dont see how this can't bother her and I think she's putting on a hell of an effort to make me comfortable.

    Thanks for reading my novel, it will be available in paperback in september :p .
     
  2. BobLeeSwagger

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    You should forget the stubble issue and address the lack of self-esteem problem. Doubting your own girlfriend's compliments is not healthy, even if she's being a little flattering.
     
  3. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

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    I agree with aloofman about the self esteem, but I will tell you that I for one find stubble sexy... and she probably doesn't even notice you breathing hot air on her after intercourse...

    But it almost seems as if you're trying to be overly considerate... just be yourself... don't act differently for anyone, and if they have a problem with who you are, then they don't deserve you...
     
  4. wangchung

    wangchung New Member

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    you sound like an especially considerate guy & I'm sure she appreciates how sensitive you are to how she feels. You sound like a great guy & shouldn't worry about these things that are just part of physical contact. It is possible that she fakes it now & then, but you shouldn't be offended because sometimes we do this just because we want to give our guy some pleasure, but don't have the energy/time to get worked up ourselves. Also, when it feels good, it's not hard to fake it, & sometimes I just want the pleasure of enjoying it w/o the need to get off completely.
     
  5. Mawg

    Mawg New Member

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    My wife HATES stubble. "How would you like sandpaper rubbing your ___?" (fill in whatever). Ok, I get it.

    FWIW, I would trust her comments. But keep shaving. ;)
     
  6. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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