Is Suicide the Answer When It All get's Too Much?

[B_Tonnie]

I can see how some people think that suicide is the only answer to their pain, be it physical or emotional pain. I met my partner when i was fifteen and he was thitry. We had eleven fantastic years together, i lost him in a car wreck in melborne australia on my twenty-sixth birthday.a drunk driver ran a red light and smashed into us. I was in hell for the next two and a years, emotionally and physically. I begged ''god'' or whatever to take me to.
Luckily i never had the ''gut's'' or nerve to take my own life, beleive you me i wanted to, but just could'nt. I never slept with another man til i was thirty, now i am thirty-three and over the past three years i have slept with four men only. But i came through the depression, with the help of good friends and a loving family. I would never judge another human being for the choice they make, but as the old saying goes, ''while there's life, there's hope.

 

[helgaleena]

:Thinkingof_:Today I found out that one of my nieces walked off the roof of her apartment building in Boston. I do not know many details, as her father, my relative, has been very secretive about his family situation for decades. In fact we did not know that he had divorced and remarried until we saw photos of the new wife. Meanwhile his younger daughter was having problems in high school and went to live with her grandmother. Evidently the first wife was a bully to both the girls.

Some merciful power kept her head clear enough to plan it well enough to succeed. She had been on some sort of medication but had quit taking it. My sense is that there was much misery that we relatives were never made aware of. For better or worse, Amy has moved on.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

:Thinkingof_:.

Some merciful power kept her head clear enough to plan it well enough to succeed. She had been on some sort of medication but had quit taking it. My sense is that there was much misery that we relatives were never made aware of. For better or worse, Amy has moved on.

I;m so sorry for your loss. I think this highlights the fact that we have to watch our friends and relatives for signs. People can suffer depression for ages and never mention it to anyone. Some people don't even know they're depressed because they just get so caught up in their own experience. SO sorry for you! Hugs!

 

[pain4anangel]

Some merciful power kept her head clear enough to plan it well enough to succeed. She had been on some sort of medication but had quit taking it. My sense is that there was much misery that we relatives were never made aware of. For better or worse, Amy has moved on.

I, too, am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wonder if her medication had anything to do with it.
From personal experience, going off medications abruptly can have severe consequences. It happened to me twice. I had run out of meds and had a hard time getting them refilled quickly. My own fault really. Well, I am not sure how to describe what happened to me. I felt like I went crazy, insane. My emotions were all over the place and I could not control myself at all. The dogs would start barking and I instantly wanted to kick the crap out of them...but I punched my desk instead. I can easily say that going off the meds like that made me into some sort of person I never knew was inside me. I had rage and sooo much hurt and pain in me and it was constant. I have been bad before...but this was different. Hard to describe. I wasn't me anymore. I know a couple other people who had the same thing happen to them. I am not sure if it was just this particular medication, but the one that made me lose it completely is known for this I have read.

 

[deleted15807]

Some of life's problems are simply intractable, unsolvable and indeed hopeless. There is no 'brighter day'. That 'brighter day' is in the rear-view mirror. Self-deliverance is a viable option. Those left behind are the only angry ones. That you can see from the posts.There seems to be very little concern for those who are now relieved of their pain.

 

[helgaleena]

I, too, am so sorry to hear of your loss. I wonder if her medication had anything to do with it..

I had not seen Amy since she was six, but even then I thought her mother was a bit harsh with her. Now she was a grown woman. Have no idea what the meds were for.

As it took decades for my own condition to respond to the correct medication, and every person's chemistry is different, I sympathize with the impatience of those whose meds are not working, or have grueling side effects. It is far too common for those who have not found the right meds yet to simply quit them abruptly, and this can be tragic.

I myself have been gradually lessening my meds over the course of years, but refuse to try life without them at all. It would be as foolhardy as giving up insulin if I were diabetic.

 

[pain4anangel]

but refuse to try life without them at all. It would be as foolhardy as giving up insulin if I were diabetic.

I agree completely. Same here.

 

[B_TonyK8483]

Personally, I care way too much about myself to ever kill myself

 

[helgaleena]

The Associated Press: Legal saga ends over plot that changed air travel Please don't plan on taking innocent bystanders with you though.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

Some of life's problems are simply intractable, unsolvable and indeed hopeless. There is no 'brighter day'. That 'brighter day' is in the rear-view mirror. Self-deliverance is a viable option. Those left behind are the only angry ones. That you can see from the posts.There seems to be very little concern for those who are now relieved of their pain.

That depends on wether you're talking about people in medical pain or mental pain. Deep in mental anguish there often seems like there will never, ever be a better day. Trust me I know. People in that state can't so it alone and need help from a professional or people around them to circle the wagon. Medical issues are another story. I'd like to think I could fight to the end. I'd hate to be, maybe a person that had polio and killed myself the day before they announced that very cure (was it in the 40's?).

 

[MrHangman]

I foolishly believe that there is an afterlife. However, religious propaganda puts doubt into my mind in arriving there. They say that if you commit suicide that you will spend eternity in hell. I can not handle making it through one human life cycle. I could not imagine spending forever somewhere even worse. If I could just know that there is no point to anything and that nothing happens after you die, I would end this misery now. But instead I continue to wait everything out. I have been patient. I can recall that I've felt this way since at least when I was eleven years old. To feel this way for almost half of your life (more than half of what you can remember, anyways) is torture. And I can completely understand why other people would put their money on thinking that there is no afterlife. Death is the end of suffering.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

I foolishly believe that there is an afterlife. However, religious propaganda puts doubt into my mind in arriving there. They say that if you commit suicide that you will spend eternity in hell. I can not handle making it through one human life cycle. I could not imagine spending forever somewhere even worse. If I could just know that there is no point to anything and that nothing happens after you die, I would end this misery now. But instead I continue to wait everything out. I have been patient. I can recall that I've felt this way since at least when I was eleven years old. To feel this way for almost half of your life (more than half of what you can remember, anyways) is torture. And I can completely understand why other people would put their money on thinking that there is no afterlife. Death is the end of suffering.

I felt that way for alot of my life, at least at your age. I think my
point is that unless y're dying, there IS always hope....and help. It's not just something you hear on commercials. Until I was, I think 23 aLL I wanted to do was kill myself. I hated living, being alive, waking up and even having people trying to help me made me hate it all even more. I literally hated everyhting. It wasn't till I got out on my own and tried to make my own way in the world did those feelings subside. I think I felt until I was legal age I had no control and no decisions of my own. But even when you get past legal age other things happen and life is never perfect but the hope would be that by then you've had more life experience and can deal w/it better. People that are 50 want to kill themselves. As do 20 year olds. If worse came to worse you'd hope a 50 yr old would have had enough of a life to make that decision. Thank god I didn't and thinking back I never could have in my early 20s had enough life information to make that decision rightfully.
It gets better.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

PS death is not the end of suffering unless you are medically dying. Death is the end of everything. If you are upset or going thru something that you can see no end to, trust me there's someone who can help you figure it out! You'd just need to reach out. Death is the answer for people w/out the strength to live and grow and learn. If you are alive and not diagnosed as dying, suicide is NOT the answer!

 

[MrHangman]

My father is a really abusive person, to the point where when I was two years my mother tried to kill herself by overdosing on pills. She was unsuccessful. But after that whole instance, they divorced and my father got custody of me. He was terribly abusive towards me, and eventually he remarried a woman who was equally as awful as him. Then September 11th occurs, and I can remember wishing my father would never come home from his job. Eventually he did, but he came back a broken, shattered man. Incapable of recovery. If he wasn't beating me he was crying. My stepmother soon after died of ovarian cancer, and my father really was in no position to continue taking care of me. Eventually he abandoned me, and I wound up living with my grandparents. My grandparents are nice people, but they are not really parent figures or overbearing. I've been on my own, making my own decisions, and in control of my own life for as long as I can remember. And I'm sick of it. And I don't see why deciding to end it now would be any different then spending the next thirty years of my life miserable, and then deciding to do it then. Why condemn someone to live such a miserable life when it can just be over? You can say 'things will get better' all you want, but that may not be the case for me. You do not know what the future holds. And whether I live or die has no bearing on your life. You should just let it go. I know I should. I feel like replying to this thread was a mistake.

 

[HellsKitchenmanNYC]

.. Why condemn someone to live such a miserable life when it can just be over? You can say 'things will get better' all you want, but that may not be the case for me. You do not know what the future holds. And whether I live or die has no bearing on your life. You should just let it go. I know I should. I feel like replying to this thread was a mistake.

I;m quoting only part of yr post because some of it was about yr father and yr situation and not YOU. You are almost 21 and then you can do whatever you like. I don't know what the future holds for anyone but as someone twice as old as you and has been is as bad a situation I can tell you that it can get better and probably will. I had all those emotions at yr age as you do. I can still remmeber how painful it was. All I can tell you is that if you can't somehow muster the nads to go on then you need to seeks some help from some agency and you're in NYC so that shouldn't be hard. Buck up. Grab your intestines and know it will get better even if it takes two years. It WILL be worth it.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

My father is a really abusive person, to the point where when I was two years my mother tried to kill herself by overdosing on pills. She was unsuccessful. But after that whole instance, they divorced and my father got custody of me. He was terribly abusive towards me, and eventually he remarried a woman who was equally as awful as him. Then September 11th occurs, and I can remember wishing my father would never come home from his job. Eventually he did, but he came back a broken, shattered man. Incapable of recovery. If he wasn't beating me he was crying. My stepmother soon after died of ovarian cancer, and my father really was in no position to continue taking care of me. Eventually he abandoned me, and I wound up living with my grandparents. My grandparents are nice people, but they are not really parent figures or overbearing. I've been on my own, making my own decisions, and in control of my own life for as long as I can remember. And I'm sick of it. And I don't see why deciding to end it now would be any different then spending the next thirty years of my life miserable, and then deciding to do it then. Why condemn someone to live such a miserable life when it can just be over? You can say 'things will get better' all you want, but that may not be the case for me. You do not know what the future holds. And whether I live or die has no bearing on your life. You should just let it go. I know I should. I feel like replying to this thread was a mistake.

I had a rough upbringing, I wont bore you with the details, but all I'll say is that I can sympathise with you deeply because I understand what its like to experience things kids shouldn't go through and to come from a completely toxic and broken home environment.

I suppose when I was much younger I probably went through some of what you're feeling now.

All I can say is that despite the start I was given (and believe me it was a start which most people would have been understanding if I'd never been able to make it in life) my life now is pretty damn good. I worked hard and trained, and now I'm successful in my chosen field, I have a circle of friends who love me, and my life is probably slightly envied by people I know who had much much better starts in life than me.

Whether or not your future is a happy one isn't a matter of luck really, it's about how you choose to direct it, and how you choose to feel about whatever may happen which is beyond your control.

I do some work with two types of charity these days, I work with a couple of gay youth groups which help teenagers 17 to 19 year olds generally, who've come out to their families and been rejected for it, many have to leave home and start life as a grown up with very little by way of a family safety net, and precious little preparation.

The other kinds of charity I work with are ones which help gay people who live in Muslim countries where they face severe persecution, ostracism and in many cases the real threat of death.

The reason I do stuff for these organisations is because it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done, and for all the sad stories I've heard that break my heart, there are stories which turn out good, and the joy that brings into my life that even whatever small bit of help I was able to offer may have contributed in some tiny tiny way to making a person whose life was utterly bleak and destroyed being able to be happier, safer and not alone and suffering alone is unquantifiable. I can't tell you how powerful that is.

When I think back I suppose I could have given up under the weight of what happened to me as a kid, no one would have blamed me. But when I think of all the joy I would have missed, the joy of helping other people being the chief among those joys it makes me wish I had a time machine so that I could whisk 17 year old me away and show him how things turned out.

Right now I know you can't see how your life could ever get better, or you don't feel there's any guarantee it ever will, and you're right there isn't a guarantee, but there is a possibility, and if you knew that your life could be joyful, fulfilled, happy, full of love and you knew you could be the reason it turned out that way wouldn't that be worth toughing it out for now? Because believe me its worth it, tough it out now, go through the crap life is making you go through, and then use the strength you'll gain to build yourself the kind of life you want and deserve.

I mean at the very least isn't it worth hanging in there so that when you are able to one day you'll be able to help other kids who are in similar situations to the one you're in now so they don't have to feel as miserable as you did?

Let me know by PM if you ever want to chat. :wink:

 

[B_byond2010]

Killing yourself is the never the answer... you gave up on life and and you lost hope.

if you think that you have problem...everyone does... My daily work is very related to suicide cases and I have one conclusion.... people who commit suicide is a very selfish person.

 

[kit_kat]

When "It All" is the urge to molest little children, yes suicide is the answer.
Anyone consumed with said desire is encouraged to off themselves, posthaste.

I agree with this.

 

[kit_kat]

Suicide might be the answer sometimes. The problem is if you are wrong you can't undo it. It's better to postpone it a bit, you can always kill yourself tomorrow or two weeks from now, the result will be the same, what's the hurry? In the meantime go to school, job training, get a job or whatever will enable you to support yourself while you are still contemplating. Also if you already know you're going to off yourself anyway, you need to really make good use of the time between now and when you draw your last breath, don't waste it you don't get another chance.

Something else to think about is the process of dying itself. Your body is designed to keep you alive and in fact this is the primary objective of your brain, so fighting this will hurt. Dying artificially is actually very painful. It's the most painful thing you will ever go through unless you are under anesthesia, you will feel every aspect of your brain fighting it's last fight to keep you alive, it thinks you are not supposed to be dying and will go into crisis mode throwing everything it knows at you to stop this - you have not yet experienced your brain's full capacity to cause you pain to get you to stop doing something. You know how your brain responds with pain to things that are harmful to you, even little things. Think what it's going to do when it thinks you're dying and it's desperate. If you don't have the right pills to knock yourself out, it will hurt so bad you will change your mind in the middle but you won't be able to do anything about it and seconds will feel like years - that is what hell is. Make sure you are very sure, if not, wait a bit, there's no rush.

The main thing to remember is that you are not always 100% right. What if you are just depressed and your whole thinking process is warped and you don't know it. That you might find out someday that you were totally off-base in your analysis, kind of like if you were driving blindfolded and then you take the blindfolds and find out things are very different than what you thought they really were. Maybe you are not depressed, but what if you are wrong, even a little bit?

Something else is that you are not going to be the same person tomorrow that you are today. It's inevitable that you will change. You don't know who you will become so you would be making a final decision for someone you don't even know yet.

I know I can't stop anyone from killing themselves if they really want to, I just want the person to make sure they have thought about and accounted for everything, kind of like packing for a journey you'll never come back from.

 

[Catchoftheday]

Suicide is never the answer...however it often seems like a good way of passing when you don't know what the answer is, you should however remember that you always have the lifelines to use the phone a friend and the ask the audience are always good ones, although I don't thhink the 50-50 option is available in this game

Make sure you use the lifelines before passing