Is there something wrong with me/my preferences? (Hookup Rejection)

Zake2.0

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To keep it short, it seems like everyone I'm not naturally attracted to is attracted to me, and vice-versa. I try to keep an open mind with people & the things I like sexually, but like am I doing something wrong or do I just have terrible luck? The rejection I've dealt with is really becoming unbearable & making me feel like I'm some repulsive beast or something (I know that's extra but you get the point). Am I the only one?
 
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LPSG Simon

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This is kind of one of those age-old dilemmas. The space that apps can put us in where we're constantly rolling our eyes and getting annoyed at being left on read or blocked after a first message can be terrible.

What about in-person ways of looking for people? You can get a way better read on the personalities when you can feel the spark actually jump. It's also a great way to even discover new 'types'.
 
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Brodie888

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Apps are simply a seiving machine. Whether you are rejecting them or they are rejecting you, it should not be taken personally.

By rejecting you, they are doing you a favor by removing themselves from the equation and allowing you to eventually find the right person.
 
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Brodie888

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I would suggest trying things where the aim is to make more gay friends like interest groups, sports etc.
 

LPSG Simon

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Apps are simply a seiving machine. Whether you are rejecting them or they are rejecting you, it should not be taken personally.

By rejecting you, they are doing you a favor by removing themselves from the equation and allowing you to eventually find the right person.
This is actually the best explanation to this that I might have heard.

One thing that I always thought would be great (or terrible and maybe problematic) would be a reverse-filter, where you decided the types of people based on stats and preferences that you are visible to instead of using this to narrow search results to see who you might like to approach.

This way, when people see others on their grid, they already know that they fall into the margin of what the other person is looking for, and it would maybe cut down on some of the toxic rejection culture that goes on there (unless of course you ended up with a tiny amount of people showing ....ooof).
 

Brodie888

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This is actually the best explanation to this that I might have heard.

One thing that I always thought would be great (or terrible and maybe problematic) would be a reverse-filter, where you decided the types of people based on stats and preferences that you are visible to instead of using this to narrow search results to see who you might like to approach.

This way, when people see others on their grid, they already know that they fall into the margin of what the other person is looking for, and it would maybe cut down on some of the toxic rejection culture that goes on there (unless of course you ended up with a tiny amount of people showing ....ooof).
Tindr's method of both parties having to swipe in agreement to match is probably the closest to this.

The gay specific apps could also solve this problem but I assume they want people to believe they have a chance when they don't.
 

theplayerking

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Tindr's method of both parties having to swipe in agreement to match is probably the closest to this.

The gay specific apps could also solve this problem but I assume they want people to believe they have a chance when they don't.
I have very specific tastes in men for dating and met my husband on Tinder after spending years (and endless rejections, mutual and otherwise) on other apps. I highly recommend it because it filters out the guys that are not attracted to you at first glance (for immediate and superficial reasons) and is much easier on your ego.
 
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Brodie888

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I have very specific tastes in men for dating and met my husband on Tinder after spending years (and endless rejections, mutual and otherwise) on other apps. I highly recommend it because it filters out the guys that are not attracted to you at first glance (for immediate and superficial reasons) and is much easier on your ego.
The thing I hated more than anything was being constantly harassed by the same people until you block them.