Is this a bad idea?

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I am 23 years old, have never dated and I am still a virgin, however I have never questioned my sexuality and I am only interested in females. I am a loner, literally have no friends, but I have good social skills, just introverted and really cannot relate to a lot of other guys my age, lack of maturity perhaps. Anyway I have had this urge to contact a girl that liked me in high school through facebook, I have never spoken with her but she had the hots for me. I have no other way of contacting her but I am really paranoid about sending her a pm because I don't want to come off as a stalker or some weird guy. I am a good looking guy, 6 foot 4 athletic, handsome and I am actually a good guy, just no one sees that as I have been described as intimidating. I am not insecure with my physical appearance or penis, almost 8" bone pressed and just under 6" around, as I said I am just paranoid about sending a pm because of how it might come across. Basically want to talk over email until she is comfortable enough to give me her phone number and go from there. A

Thanks, Justin
 
Last edited:
D

deleted157868

Guest
Its tough, "creepy" is the new female buzzword, and they use it to describe any male who tries to reach out romantically to them
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Thanks for the replies I have received so far. Past few months have been very tough for me, very tough lol. I got the flu back in December and I started having random episodes of blacking out. In and out of the hospital and I returned to school in January. I was admitted to the hospital in February and a cardiologist hooked me up with a heart monitor that I was to wear for a month, was told not to worry as he believed nothing was wrong. I have been going to college off and on since 2009 with no real direction and I finally realized I needed to make a change. I began working on enlisting into the Massachusetts national guard and I was contracted as a mechanic and set to leave in September. The same day as my military physical I received a call from the cardiologist and he informed me that my heart was literally stopping and was the cause of the blackouts and that I would need a pacemaker, which disqualifies me from the guard. One week later I was with my recruiter to fill out medical discharge paperwork and I blacked out twice, again like a week ago I got a call and was told to go to the ER as my heart had stopped for 12 seconds and then 18 seconds the 2nd time. I am now 2 weeks 4 days post op with my pacemaker and I realized how my life needed change.

Also I was technically considered dead, or at least close to it, with my 18 second pause, maybe I died and was reborn again lol.
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
On a positive note, I am really into fitness, have a dog, have a good relationship with my mother and sister, flipping a house with my mother, list could continue on. I am pretty sure her family has a contracting business or something along those lines, something in common with the house I am flipping perhaps.

Also need to get a new profile pic and maybe add some photos of the construction to make it look like I am not a complete loser.
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
I am just really paranoid because of an earlier experience of mine. I was chatting with a girl I went to high school with through facebook summer of 2009 and she stopped messaging me so I dropped it. Summer of 2011 I went for some ice cream after doing landscape work and I saw her at the joint with her friends and she was saying "that kid is an ass", I just ignored her got my ice cream fix and left. I felt kind of insulted because I was polite and normal with my emails like what do you study at school etc. and that was the impression she had of me. The girl was just average, not very attractive and she was acting like a bitch. Granted that was 2009 and we were barely 19 when we were chatting and 21 when I saw her at the ice cream place but wtf.

I was not the most popular kid in high school and girls in my area pretty much only date guys that are friends of their friends etc.




You’re analyzing this way too much. People send Facebook messages all the time. Just keep it relaxed and casual.
 
Last edited:

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Agree with that statement in regards to guys they do not find attractive and pursue them a bit. A guy she likes is charming etc. the other guy who asks her out and makes chat with her is a creep lol.




Its tough, "creepy" is the new female buzzword, and they use it to describe any male who tries to reach out romantically to them
 

Gillette

Sexy Member
Joined
Apr 2, 2006
Posts
6,214
Media
4
Likes
95
Points
268
Age
52
Location
Halifax (Nova Scotia, Canada)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Female
Did you have friends who were also friends with her?

You could always organize an impromptu informal class reunion at a local bar and make sure she's invited as well. Talk to her at the event.

If you want to stick with the facebook idea you have something with the house flip. Contact her saying that you remembered her family was in construction and you were hoping to get her advice on a couple of ideas you had. Let the conversation evolve from there.

It's never a bad idea to make contact with someone you'd like to talk to.
It's only a bad idea to have expectations of the outcome.
 

Adrian69702006

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Posts
2,761
Media
69
Likes
2,224
Points
433
Location
Lincoln (Lincolnshire, England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
I am 23 years old, have never dated and I am still a virgin, however I have never questioned my sexuality and I am only interested in females. I am a loner, literally have no friends, but I have good social skills, just introverted and really cannot relate to a lot of other guys my age, lack of maturity perhaps. Anyway I have had this urge to contact a girl that liked me in high school through facebook, I have never spoken with her but she had the hots for me. I have no other way of contacting her but I am really paranoid about sending her a pm because I don't want to come off as a stalker or some weird guy. I am a good looking guy, 6 foot 4 athletic, handsome and I am actually a good guy, just no one sees that as I have been described as intimidating. I am not insecure with my physical appearance or penis, almost 8" bone pressed and just under 6" around, as I said I am just paranoid about sending a pm because of how it might come across. Basically want to talk over email until she is comfortable enough to give me her phone number and go from there. A

Thanks, Justin

Justin, shyness and feelings of awkwardness are by no means unusual things for young people to experience. They're prefectly normal. Speaking from my own experience I would say that social media contacts with people I attended school with have been without exception amicable, although my school days are a lot further removed from my present experience than yours are for you. One or two people have wanted to leave things in the past and, naturally enough, I respect their wishes. For what it's worth I think you've nothing to lose from contacting the young lady in question. She may be free and interested or she may not. However you'll never find out if you don't try. Best of luck - let us know.
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
No I did not have any friends who were friends with her.
She is from the class below me so the reunion idea would not work.

I like your idea about getting advice on the house flip but I am a direct person and I feel that is not dishonest but more the intentions for that contact are not genuine, I don't really want contractor advice.

I do want to talk with her and I would like to go somewhere with it, I am a bit traditional and I don't believe in hook ups or impersonal encounters. If this does work I don't expect happy ever after with a house, 3 kids and rover but I want to see where it can go.

A lot of girls found me physically attractive then, look much better now, but I really had no interest and like I said I was a loner. I was doing yard work in the front yard of my house last summer and she drove by and seemed to get excited seeing me, smiling etc. Never got a chance to talk to her though.

Also this girl, like many others my age, live at college but come home during vacations, holidays etc. so I think after I get my life in order here from my surgery this is the perfect time, potential to build up comfort until physically meeting in May. But those are hopes and wishes, not reality.





Did you have friends who were also friends with her?

You could always organize an impromptu informal class reunion at a local bar and make sure she's invited as well. Talk to her at the event.

If you want to stick with the facebook idea you have something with the house flip. Contact her saying that you remembered her family was in construction and you were hoping to get her advice on a couple of ideas you had. Let the conversation evolve from there.

It's never a bad idea to make contact with someone you'd like to talk to.
It's only a bad idea to have expectations of the outcome.
 
Last edited:

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Thanks for the insight. I am trying to figure out how best to go about doing this, obviously not hey baby check out my 8x6 dick, wanna suck it? Lol, like I said I am a genuine person looking to create a relationship, I would be telling lies if I said I had no interest in sex obviously.

I am a scorpio rising and my behavior and everything is a hard shell that protects my sensitive insides, like a scorpions exo skeleton.




Justin, shyness and feelings of awkwardness are by no means unusual things for young people to experience. They're prefectly normal. Speaking from my own experience I would say that social media contacts with people I attended school with have been without exception amicable, although my school days are a lot further removed from my present experience than yours are for you. One or two people have wanted to leave things in the past and, naturally enough, I respect their wishes. For what it's worth I think you've nothing to lose from contacting the young lady in question. She may be free and interested or she may not. However you'll never find out if you don't try. Best of luck - let us know.
 

Adrian69702006

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Posts
2,761
Media
69
Likes
2,224
Points
433
Location
Lincoln (Lincolnshire, England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
Thanks for the insight. I am trying to figure out how best to go about doing this, obviously not hey baby check out my 8x6 dick, wanna suck it? Lol, like I said I am a genuine person looking to create a relationship, I would be telling lies if I said I had no interest in sex obviously.

I am a scorpio rising and my behavior and everything is a hard shell that protects my sensitive insides, like a scorpions exo skeleton.

Although this a site which celebrates the penis - and its many functions - I really wouldn't mention either your penis or, indeed, sex as an opening gambit. The best approah would be say that you stumbled across her profile, remembered her, and wondered how she was. Just keep it on a social level to start - at least until you know which way things are going.
 

Kotchanski

Expert Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Posts
2,850
Media
10
Likes
104
Points
193
Location
England (United Kingdom)
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Female
Hi there,

You may not remember me, my name is "name" and I was in the year above you. I just thought I'd send you a short message here and see how you were, as I was thinking about those days and got to wondering what others from back then were up to now... Hope you don't mind?

Things to avoid mentioning:

That you're introverted and often seen as intimidating.
That you don't want to seem like a stalker (it screams stalker)
Your penis
Your body
That you remember her having the hots for you
Your mother
Your sister
How you're doing financially
That you know all about her family and their business (again, screams stalker)

Keep it light, random, open and not all about you, or all about her.
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
Well the business is known but yeah lol, that's why I turned down one of the poster's ideas about getting advice on the house flip.





Hi there,

You may not remember me, my name is "name" and I was in the year above you. I just thought I'd send you a short message here and see how you were, as I was thinking about those days and got to wondering what others from back then were up to now... Hope you don't mind?

Things to avoid mentioning:

That you're introverted and often seen as intimidating.
That you don't want to seem like a stalker (it screams stalker)
Your penis
Your body
That you remember her having the hots for you
Your mother
Your sister
How you're doing financially
That you know all about her family and their business (again, screams stalker)

Keep it light, random, open and not all about you, or all about her.
 

Teb8807

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2012
Posts
134
Media
0
Likes
21
Points
103
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
sangheili90, as an introvert myself, my advice is to learn to embrace being an introvert and how it can help you, because you'll always find yourself beating yourself up socially. Although you're introverted, most people are never fully introverted or extroverted, and you have to learn to embrace your more extroverted side. Understand when to be social and when you've had enough. Most importantly, stop over analyzing your social moves and cues. We're in our own mind too much, thinking for others.

Remember, you're just sending her a message, not asking her to be your girlfriend. Don't worry about making your profile look amazing, because anything amazing about yourself that she needs to know she'll learn directly from you if you guys continue to have conversations back and forth on Facebook, and if you eventually meet up. Take it at your pace, it's not marriage, it's just a possible friendship at this point.

Good luck.
 

sangheili90

Superior Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2013
Posts
3,504
Media
9
Likes
3,881
Points
208
Location
Arizona (United States)
Sexuality
100% Straight, 0% Gay
Gender
Male
My problem is I have never spoke with her, just remembered her from high school. But I know not to rush it and expect a phone number by the first response.





Although this a site which celebrates the penis - and its many functions - I really wouldn't mention either your penis or, indeed, sex as an opening gambit. The best approah would be say that you stumbled across her profile, remembered her, and wondered how she was. Just keep it on a social level to start - at least until you know which way things are going.
 

Adrian69702006

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 22, 2007
Posts
2,761
Media
69
Likes
2,224
Points
433
Location
Lincoln (Lincolnshire, England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
My problem is I have never spoke with her, just remembered her from high school. But I know not to rush it and expect a phone number by the first response.

I see that makes matters a little more difficult. I'd assumed you'd known one another in the past.