Is this a common thing, are all gay men like it

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by KoolKat, Oct 29, 2005.

  1. KoolKat

    KoolKat Member

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    Ok well, i have been sorta stewing over this for a while now, so i thought id just ask u guys what u thought. Ok well i have been questioning my sexuality for a long time now. I had been sexually attracted to men, but never emotionally attracted, i had never even thought of being with a man. Anyway i met this guy on the net, which i know sounds dodgy, but he was cool.

    We had been talking for a good 3 or 4 months online and on the phone, at least every day. He new from the very beginning that i was questioning myself, he was helping me through alot of things, and what was scaring me was that i was feeling something for him, like no other guy. He made it no secret from the beginning that he liked me alot, and that he thought about me lots. and to some extent i was the same.

    So yeah this went on for a while and i was liking him more, he genuinly seemed to like me alot, and was talking about meeting me face to face. Some boring bits in the story now so i wont bore u. He would tell me how much he loved me even thought we had never met and how much he thought about me. And a few weeks ago we were talking and i finally got up the guts to tell him that i liked him, the first guy i had ever sed it too. And he basically went quiet. and sed "ah, um thnaks, but i have a bf now" and i felt so stupid, he sed it was a recent thing, but i was shocked and upset that i felt so stupid.

    My Question is, after talking to a guy from here, he sed that all gay relationships are like this its either serve or be served were his words, and i dont want to believe this. So is his annalysis of gay relationships or the gay circuit true, is it impossible to be happy, or if i join the gay scene, will it be heartache after heartace for me??

    Id like to know what u guys think.
     
  2. Thedrewbert

    Thedrewbert Member

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    I think that he probably felt that he would never have the chance to date you. He might have wanted to, but he realized there was little chance... so he moved on.
     
  3. Likesembig

    Likesembig Member

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    "My Question is, after talking to a guy from here, he sed that all gay relationships are like this its either serve or be served were his words, and i dont want to believe this. So is his annalysis of gay relationships or the gay circuit true, is it impossible to be happy, or if i join the gay scene, will it be heartache after heartace for me??"


    So he said all gay relationships are like this?......sounds like what he should have said is all of HIS relationships are like this.

    Nothing is perfect I'm afraid, sometimes when you put your heart out there you are going to get hurt but sometimes you can meet some really nice people too.

    Is it possible to be happy and gay? That's a question you will have to answer for yourself, do a little soul searching and trust what your instincts tell you. Try not to let one bad experience make you bitter and not trust.

    Hope this helps
     
  4. DC_DEEP

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    I won't even venture into the text of your post... I'll just answer the two questions you ask in the title: no, and no.
     
  5. madame_zora

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    Oh trust me, straight relationships are just as fucked up.
     
  6. college22punk9

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    hmmm.. my adivce, if you are gonna get into the sketchy realm of gay relatinoships... and you want a "normal" relationship.... its not impossible to find someone who actually wants what you want, but as a "stereotypical whole"... gay people tend to be very shallow and jump to extreme conclusions. yeah yeah... i'm sure now that i said that, people are gonna be correcting me left and right, but you all know what i mean.
     
  7. B_hungrick

    B_hungrick New Member

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    I have to agree with Madame Zora completely. Human beings get confused about relationships and our feelings for each other. Sometimes we say one thing, and mean another. We don't want to get hurt. This isn't about being gay or straight. It's just learning that people aren't the way we want them to be.
     
  8. GoneA

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    ditto.
     
  9. D_Elijah_MorganWood

    D_Elijah_MorganWood New Member

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    ditto.
    [post=356733]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]
    Having been on both sides of the fence, I agree.
     
  10. Rikter8

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    If it makes you feel any better...it was flawed from the beginning.

    I dont know if you can say that he "Loved You" over the internet...especially when he didnt even meet you. He may have been really fond, and wanted to meet you... but it didn't seem like he made an effort to say "Lets go".

    To me, it just seemed pre-mature.

    Also, dating guys from online is fun for a while...but then you'll get older and realize that its better to date offline. Stay in the Limelight.

    This was the first guy you thought you really liked... not your last.

    If your curious about your sexuality...find someone you trust locally...go out, have fun, then have sex. Get the whole picture before you settle down into a relationship.

    And above all, stay protected, no matter what he says.

    Ive dated alot of guys, seen it all, all the tricks..etc. I wouldnt take this seriously.
    Live and learn my friend.
    C
     
  11. jonb

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    I think every heterosexual can agree with you.
     
  12. panthera

    panthera New Member

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    I think it is wonderful that you have the ability to feel something for someone else. No, not all homosexuals are that way. Many, perhaps most , men are, however. I am, and I have severalmale friends - gay and straight - who really do believe and live their committment to their partners. Won't say much more here, since everybody else has already said it better. I am sorry he hurt you, though. :toast:
     
  13. KoolKat

    KoolKat Member

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    Thanks guys, for all ur comments, i know that it wouldnt have lasted, but at the time it was just so nice to have someone who liked to talk to me and lived to hear what was happening with me, it was great. I know i felt like a dick when he sed he had a bf and i have learned from that.

    So thanks again guys, next time ill look for someone close to home, if there is anyone is tassie let me know, lol.

    Matt
     
  14. LuckyLuke

    LuckyLuke New Member

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    In my opinion, looking for a gay relationship with any male under 25 seems to be a waste of time - that age seems to correspond in the gay world as highly promiscuious and non-commiting in the extreme. Over 25, it seems to change a bit. No doubt it has something to do with maturity. ;)

    That being said, I couldn't imagine a worse place to look for a boyfriend than the internet!!!

    Just my two cents worth.
     
  15. Matthew

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    Did anyone else love the irony?
     
  16. GoneA

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    Weird ...
     
  17. Alley Blue

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    I would of asked him "why are you so quiet all of a sudden"?
    If a friend, sexual or not, suddenly becomes quiet after expressing to him how I felt about a certain subject ( whether if it's about him or something/someone else) I'd probably would ask him whats wrong. Did you ask him what his feelings were?

    <!--QuoteBegin-KoolKat
    @Oct 29 2005, 11:58 PM
    My Question is, after talking to a guy from here, he sed that all gay relationships are like this its either serve or be served were his words, and i dont want to believe this. So is his annalysis of gay relationships or the gay circuit true, is it impossible to be happy, or if i join the gay scene, will it be heartache after heartace for me??

    Id like to know what u guys think.
    [post=356616]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]

    I&#39;ve never been in a purely homosexual relationship before, but I personally feel it depends on what sort of level of closeness there was in the relationship to begin with. Perhaps he was unsure of your feelings towards him, so he was afraid to invest in it in an emotional way.
    KoolKat, do you still stay in contact with him?
     
  18. KoolKat

    KoolKat Member

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    Alley, i didnt feel the need to ask him his feelings as he had told me before how much he liked me how much he wanted me to be there with him, and how my voice turned him on, i think that that was a big enuff indication that he frlt for me.

    He told me he would like to stay in constant contact, but the truth is we havent talked all that much since, he doesnt have time anymore, plus i find it very hard to talk to him, i dont know why, i miss our conversations terribly, but when we do talk he talks about how he and his bf are and how he met the inlaws and they love him and how happy he is. I Want him to be happy but it doesnt change the fact it is hard to hear about it like that, for now anyway
     
  19. Alley Blue

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    The reason that I asked this is because relationships usually don&#39;t dissolve over night. I just thought maybe he said something that was some how over looked. Some sort of hint saying that the relationship "that could of been", could "never really be."

    In any event, young people are generally pretty fickled (I guess most of us have been there)....... though I&#39;m sad that it was your heart that he hurt.
     
  20. KoolKat

    KoolKat Member

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    Before he tld me he had a bf, he sed that it would be very difficult for anything to happen between us, but i mean like a second hefore he told me he had a bf, i dunno i just felt stupid and maybe i read into it more than he did.
     
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