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Is This A Fair Request Of My Wife

Discussion in 'Ask a Woman' started by SSfun, Jun 4, 2019.

  1. SSfun

    SSfun 1st Like

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    I have been married 17 years and love my wife as much now as the day we got married. She takes antidepressants and has never really had a sex drive. Some times I would go months with no sex at all. I was not willing to leave my wife for something that is not her fault so I spent years teaching my self to selfsuck. Now that I have been sucking my own dick several times a week it has become a bit of a fetish for me. She is fully aware that is how I get off now. We recently have started having great sex far more often but I still want to suck my dick some during sex. My question is do I have the right to say I want to mix this in to our sex routine just like any other sex position. I could even try to make it mutual by licking my dick and her cot at the same time. Well what do you think.
     
    SoaringSpirit likes this.
  2. Tight_N_Juicy

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    You have the right to bring it up, she has the right to be uninterested.

    If she's not into it, tough shit.
     
  3. 693987

    693987 Guest

    ^ this
     
  4. MickeyLee

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  5. 693987

    693987 Guest

    Also, before anyone throws a tantrum about LPSG women being unfair, some of us are in a similar boat. We're interested in something our partner has no interest in. Oh well.
     
  6. AlteredEgo

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    Talk to her about it. See what she says.
     
  7. 286798

    286798 Guest

    I think its always ok to say what you'd like to incorporate into your lovelife... just like it's always ok to decline.
     
  8. Tattooed Goddess

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    I'm gonna be the blunt bitch.......again. lard help me....here we go

    I've seen this done live in the lpsg chatroom live. Several times. As soon as I saw where it was going I clicked the X on their cam. Not my cup of tea. I might say ok lemme see what you're doing and then I'd be like. Well. That's interesting. Please never do that in front of me again if you expect me to be turned on.
     
  9. Scarletbegonia

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    Agree with @Tight_N_Juicy.

    Trying to picture this, it rings of a threesome aspect, somehow, and it’s a touch off-putting.

    I’m also assuming your wife will have sex with you, just that it isn’t as much as you’d like, and she will suck you.

    I had a libido drop that lasted years. I still was intimate with my then partner, until he figured out my interest was wholly for his benefit.
    Since you two are being intimate, is it worth putting her off to bring your masturbatory kink into the mutual sex?
    If mutual masturbation goes on, then this might be an extension. If not, it could be astoundingly off-putting.

    Ask, and respect the answer, even as it changes.
     
    Mellow, ronin001, AlteredEgo and 3 others like this.
  10. CarlaM

    CarlaM Legendary Member

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    I agree with @Scarletbegonia I think it is at best slightly off putting.

    I say that as a woman whose husband has some difficulty maintaining his erection and occasionally will need some manual stimulation to maintain it. I think if we were in the middle of the act and he decided he wanted to finish himself off by hand I’d be a bit put off.
     
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  11. LaFemme

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    At first I was wondering why your wife was sleeping on a cot, and why you’d want to lick it. Then, oh...spelling counts, dude.

    Next thought. Self-sucking falls in line with juggling flaming arrows. Seen it done, don’t need to see it again. Seems kind of silly. If it’s your thing, then it’s your thing, go for it. There are also women who date men who juggle flaming arrows. Not for me.

    She’s your wife - ask her. She already knows you do it. Asking a bunch of strange women on the internet doesn’t get an answer from her. She might be all up into twisty sex.
     
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  12. Scarletbegonia

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    I dated a juggler/ fire eater/ sword swallower. I never need to see any of those again. But I can do two now.
     
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  13. Holly Doors

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    I'm so with you hunni, my hubby can do that and like you say I'm not interested in fact quite grossed out by the whole thing, thankfully it's not something he actually does apart from the odd occasion showing off that he's able to if he wanted, he doesn't even like the idea of it himself Lol xx
     
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  14. SSfun

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    Thank you everyone for your input. I still have not had the opportunity to talk to my wife about it yet. I hope to find the courage to do it soon but after some of the comments I am a little more nervous than before lol.
     
  15. AlteredEgo

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    Hello (BF)
    Why are you more nervous than before? It is simple. The women here have no fucking clue who your wife is, nor what she thinks of your kink. While I have no longer have any further interest in watching a self sucker, I'd still like to see if one could fuck me and suck my clit at the same time. Does that have any bearing on your wife's experiences, desires or curiosities? No. If some of us used to be curious, does that mean she ever was? No. If some of us feel we never want to see such a thing (ever again) does that mean she doesn't want to see? No.

    She is she, and only she can provide you with closure on the subject. Maybe she will be intrigued, maybe she will be willing to try it just for you, and maybe she will ask you not to bring it up again because it reminds her too much of her time traveling on a private train with the circus, and that mysterious hobo stow-away she loved for two days and never saw again. We can't know.

    You just ask her. Ask to talk about fantasies. Tell her you want to share one with her, and that you will respect her feelings about whether or not to try it, but you need to feel like she is your safe space. Assure her that, as usual, she can accept or decline to explore it with you, but you need to know you can trust her not to make you feel ashamed, weird, undesirable in her response. Ultimately, that is your fear. Your fear is being rejected as a man, for having an unusual interest and ability. So, let her know she can feel safe deciding to reject the kink, but that in so doing, you need to feel safe that she isn't rejecting you as a man. Then, you spit it the fuck out. Remind her she onows you can suck your own dick, but that what you now want most is for her to enjoy that feat with you in some way. Explain the scenarios of which you dream. Watch her face. Listen to her words.

    I should think after 17 years you can risk vulnerability with this woman. If not, why would you have married her? One of the reasons I married my husband was I felt safe being my entire self with him. No walls. No façades. Never the least bit of subterfuge. Trust is everything in marriage, and this, is an excercise in your faith in each other. Get to it.
     
    Mellow, Scarletbegonia, Enid and 3 others like this.
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