Thank you everyone for your input. I still have not had the opportunity to talk to my wife about it yet. I hope to find the courage to do it soon but after some of the comments I am a little more nervous than before lol.
Why are you more nervous than before? It is simple. The women here have no fucking clue who your wife is, nor what she thinks of your kink. While I have no longer have any further interest in watching a self sucker, I'd still like to see if one could fuck me and suck my clit at the same time. Does that have any bearing on your wife's experiences, desires or curiosities? No. If some of us used to be curious, does that mean she ever was? No. If some of us feel we never want to see such a thing (ever again) does that mean she doesn't want to see? No.
She is she, and only she can provide you with closure on the subject. Maybe she will be intrigued, maybe she will be willing to try it just for you, and maybe she will ask you not to bring it up again because it reminds her too much of her time traveling on a private train with the circus, and that mysterious hobo stow-away she loved for two days and never saw again. We can't know.
You just ask her. Ask to talk about fantasies. Tell her you want to share one with her, and that you will respect her feelings about whether or not to try it, but you need to feel like she is your safe space. Assure her that, as usual, she can accept or decline to explore it with you, but you need to know you can trust her not to make you feel ashamed, weird, undesirable in her response. Ultimately, that is your fear. Your fear is being rejected as a man, for having an unusual interest and ability. So, let her know she can feel safe deciding to reject the kink, but that in so doing, you need to feel safe that she isn't rejecting you as a man. Then, you spit it the fuck out. Remind her she onows you can suck your own dick, but that what you now want most is for her to enjoy that feat with you in some way. Explain the scenarios of which you dream. Watch her face. Listen to her words.
I should think after 17 years you can risk vulnerability with this woman. If not, why would you have married her? One of the reasons I married my husband was I felt safe being my entire self with him. No walls. No façades. Never the least bit of subterfuge. Trust is everything in marriage, and this, is an excercise in your faith in each other. Get to it.