Is this normal?

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billydee56: I am what I consider to be well hung 10 1/2" x 6". A short time ago I begin going thru what I will call (for this conversion anyway) my "mid-life crisis". For some un-known reason I realized that my wife of over 20 yrs almost never says anything about the size of my dick.

When I questioned her about that she says she was taught that:

1) "Good girls don't go with guys like me"

2) She was also taught that you don't say anything about the size of a man's member because "you might hurt his feelings"

Is this normal for ladies to think like this or am I being fed a line?

 

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SoccerFreak: I think she is being a little distant with u, maybe u should sit down and talk to her and express ur feelings. Tell hr whats on ur mind. Come back and i.m me when u do this.

 

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grantstephens: Has your wife been with other men before you? Not all women that I've been with talked about the size of my penis, but a few have either to me or to their freinds which got back to me . I imagine that if I was 10 1/2 my wife would have freaked because she thought I was a footlong when we were dating.

 

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billydee56: My wife had several lovers before me. One of which was about 8".

She does not seem to be at all intimadated by my size although we dated for several months before she would fuck me. She did give me some great "blowjobs" during that time though.

 

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grantstephens: Did she willingly tell you he was around 8' or did you ask it out of her?  My wife never compared the size of mine until I pressed her.  Come to find out, they were average to small (at least that's what she said ).

As you'll find out here from the women on this forum is that most women are not as fixated on size as we men are.  Yes, there are a few fixations here, but I think your wife loves you more than she loves your dick.  I bet if you were average size, she'd love you just the same.

We need women to respond to this.

 

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billydee56: She has not "volunteered" any info concerning her previous lovers.

I DO NOT question my wife's love for me . . . after over 20 yrs together we can handle anything! I am not going to leave her and I don't believe that she has any plans either.

She has told me that she would love me if I was average but she was glad that I am not. That is about all I can get her to say.

Am I being "self-centered" by wanting her to talk about it?

 

[benderten2001]

[quote author=billydee56 link=board=sex;num=1079702171;start=0#5 date=03/19/04 at 16:27:41]

"...Am I being "self-centered" by wanting her to talk about it?"

[/quote]

No, Billydee56 --I don't think you are.

Every man appreciates "being appreciated"...i.e. being told (at least now and then) some flattering remark about his "size". Other than dropping her a hint that men DO LIKE to hear COMPLIMENTARY size remarks....that's about all you can do to further "prompt her". I wouldn't bother pushing the issue. She's already told you she loves you and especially your dimensions.
btw--20 years of marriage is impressive these days!

I suppose some women indeed do find it difficult to compliment a man. I also questioned whether women will EVER know how much we guys like to hear (GOOD!) things about our size from time to time. DAILY would be okay! --if we believe it's genuine and heartfelt! ;D

While breast size is important to women, it seems penis size is absolutely VITAL to many of us men.

--Maybe some ladies here are reading AND learning!

 

[Max]

Benderten is right on target IMHO.

The way to put it to your wife is to ask how much she appreciates being paid compliments about how she looks, about her best points: looks, figure, etc; and maybe how she would feel if you said nothing.

Then she may get the message about what you equally need to hear from time to time --- one of your outstanding points is so obvious she can't miss it.

 

[B_RoysToy]

[quote author=billydee56 link=board=sex;num=1079702171;start=0#5 date=03/19/04 at 16:27:41] . . . I DO NOT question my wife's love for me . . . after over 20 yrs together we can handle anything! I am not going to leave her and I don't believe that she has any plans either. [/quote]
billydee56: After 29 years of marriage and three wonderful children, I didn't question my ex's love for me, either, but she surprised me by filing for divorce. Sometimes there are unforeseen, and yet underlying, problems that will be faced and acted upon by one of the partners after years of acceptance. It takes two to "handle anything" and what appears to be life-long, can be cut short at any time.

I hope you never have to experience this and think your attitude of "wanting to talk about it" is a good sign which needs to be extended into all aspects of your marriage. Like in other human relation areas, communication is the key to marriage bliss.

 

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wvalady1968: [quote author=billydee56 link=board=sex;num=1079702171;start=0#5 date=03/19/04 at 16:27:41] Am I being "self-centered" by wanting her to talk about it? [/quote]

Too often, we just don't know what our partner wants or needs from us.

One of the things that many of us need to learn is to be a little "selfish" during love making. Pecker pointed out that American society is being TOO PC, to its detriment. And I think that's spread to the bedroom.

Let me try to explain this foot out of my mouth. Sex is 90% mental and 10% physical [99% and 1%?]. During masturbation, we get to focus entirely on what WE want, what feels good to US. During sex with another, we have to share that focus.

In a perfect world, our arousal would be fed by theirs and vice versa until we both [all?] have resounding orgasms. IRL, having to worry about whether or not our partner is enjoying her/himself splits the focus, or even douses the flame.

Now, I cannot get into his head and know what he wants at any time, nor can he get into mine, so we try to anticipate. And don't necessarily get it right, no matter how we may want to.

So, we have instituted "All About David Night" and "All About Allie Night". About once every couple of weeks, for each of us on separate nights, we each get to call ALL the shots and direct the action. At first, I was afraid that directing him to say or do certain things would not have the same effect as it would have if he had said or done them spontaneously, but I was wrong.

[This is even more exciting when he says or does special things during regular love making.]

This allows us to teach and learn what IS important. And I have to tell you that it's as exciting for the "off focus" partner as it is for the "focus" partner, sometimes even more so. Knowing that I'm doing exactly what he wants, and getting feedback from his body language and responses is VERY hot! And he gets to relax and think about only his enjoyment without guilt because I'll have my night, too.

Anyway, I highly recommend adding this to your repertoire of love making activities. It can take sex to a whole new area.

Allie
:-*

 

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billydee56: Thanks to everyone that has replied. I was hoping more ladies would give their thoughts.

 

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Tender: [quote author=billydee56 link=board=sex;num=1079702171;start=0#0 date=03/19/04 at 05:07:11]I am what I consider to be well hung 10 1/2" x 6". A short time ago I begin going thru what I will call (for this conversion anyway) my "mid-life crisis". For some un-known reason I realized that my wife of over 20 yrs almost never says anything about the size of my dick.

When I questioned her about that she says she was taught that:

1) "Good girls don't go with guys like me"

2) She was also taught that you don't say anything about the size of a man's member because "you might hurt his feelings"

Is this normal for ladies to think like this or am I being fed a line?[/quote]


i have no idea what your wife meant really by the #1.
but #2, yeah, its not really a good thing to reveal that your past partners were larger, or other size conversations ect... depending on the circumstance, i suppose one could really hurt a guys feelings. and really to most women size is not that much of an issue, unless maybe if one is unusually large or small. well you are large, but after all this time if the wife hasnt remarked about it, i would just assume she is satisfied with you, or you would have heard differently by now

as far as being fed a line, i would think that she would be willing to talk more open about it, since you have brought it up. dont know your wife of course, but she may have been raised in a more conservative setting, where talking about such seems strange to her in some way?

but i can see where her not talking about your member can be a real bummer especially after all this time. kinda makes you feel , mmm worthless, unappreciated, maybe not up to speed? yeah, been there myself... still there sometimes.

Tender