Is this odd or is it just me?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang, Oct 24, 2011.

  1. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

    D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang Account Disabled

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    My best friend, whom I will refer to as J, and I have been friends since the beginning of high school. First off, I'm gay, and he's straight. You can imagine the flack he caught for his best friends being gay, but he's proven himself to be one of the most loyal people I have ever met. Guy actually get in a fist fight defending me and who I am. We've been inseparable. Where I would go, he went too. Where he went, I would go too. I couldn't ask for a greater best friend. However, things have recently gotten a little... uncomfortable... for me.

    We both went off to college at the same school, and though we studied vastly different things, we always managed to meet up to study or just play racket-ball/tennis/basketball/whatever sport we felt like. We've always been there for each other. He knows that there's nothing that I wouldn't do to help him out, and I know he'd do the same.

    Feel free to skip to here to miss the backstory =)
    So here's the issue:

    While we've been the closest friends for a long time, it was always understood that we were only friends. That point had been proven over and over again. Not all of five minutes ago I check my phone and see a message from J. Here's how our convo went:

    J: "Hey Bashful (name replaced obviously :wink:) can i ask you something and u not get weirded out?"

    me: "Yeah sure what?"

    J: "u think you can look at a picture and gimme your opinion on it?"

    (This isn't the strange part, to be honest. It's not rare for J to send me a picture of a girl we wants to date to get my approval.)

    me: "Yeah, I can do that."

    I open my phone and there sits a picture. The message read:
    "Think these are too tight?

    I open the pictures, and there sits a picture of my best friend in not but trunks. Let me just say this. We're close, and we share a lot of things with each other, but with me being gay and him straight, it was always understood that anything sexual, or having to do with that region was just not talked about. I responded the only way I knew how.

    "I thought you wore boxers."

    His response was that he wanted to try something new, and wanted someone's opinion on them, and didn't know who else to ask. Yeah, I'm thrilled that he's comfortable enough to ask, but now I'm feeling kinda weirded out.

    This can't be normal, can it? and What am I supposed to say now? I haven't messaged him back cause I'm feeling kinda awkward. Any suggestions?

    Sorry for the long post but I really can't shorten it up and get the magnitude of my predicament across. help?!
     
  2. monel

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    Why don't you just answer the question he asked?
     
  3. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

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    Not really sure, I suppose it's cause it doesn't feel right for me to be judging the appearance of his nether regions. I mean is that something friends do often?
     
  4. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    a little weird but its not a big deal, just answer the quesstion and forget about it, its nice that hes that comfortable around you
     
  5. D_Ernie_Eatsit

    D_Ernie_Eatsit New Member

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    or just tell him thats weird and u dont wanna answer lol
     
  6. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

    D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang Account Disabled

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    I suppose so. Yeah I agree, it's nice that he cares what I think but yikes. It'd be like a straight woman asking a straight guy to rate her in a new bra... okay maybe not the exact same but you get the idea. So general consensus is that I'm making it a bigger deal than it is?

    Figures -_- lol
     
  7. monel

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    Except that you really weren't, he wanted your opinion on his trunks. I wouldn't say that friends do this often but neither do I think it is unusual. He may just have been uncertain about his new underwear since he normally wore boxers and who else was he going to ask?
     
  8. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

    D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang Account Disabled

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    Good point. Not really something I thought about. So you guys think I should even mention being awkwarded out about it not? I'm not afraid of loosing him, after all we've been through just don't want the guy to feel awkward that I felt weird about it... if that makes any sense at all lol
     
  9. monel

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    I don't think you should mention being wierded out. Just answer his question matter-of-factly and move on. If his actions were to become any more sexual in nature, then you should tell him that you are uncomfortable.
     
  10. Brick7

    Brick7 Active Member

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    Assume the best. He's your longtime friend and he respects your opinion and has asked you to give it. Don't read anything else into it.
    If you feel uncomfortable, you should make sure you tell your friend. It's obvious you seem to have a boundary in your friendship you'd rather not cross and he evidently dosn't have the same boundary. If you want to make him aware of this, then say so. Otherwise, let it go.
    And just so you know...sexual identity aside, some friends do ask other friends their opinions of their underwear/trunks. It can be considered normal depending upon the friendship.
     
  11. jjsjr

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    I'm guessing that you're feeling awkward because you don't want to be misinterpreted for having a crush or whatnot.... let that go.

    You're best friends; and he clearly trusts your opinion. So my advice is to simply be objective. Look at the photo, ignore the reality that it's him and just give him your answer. You should have a thought whether a piece of underwear is too tight or not no matter who's wearing it.
     
  12. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

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    Aight. I was just a little shaken up. Go figure, I'm happy to give opinions of other men when it's not someone I closely know. Thanks for the help guys =) saved me some discomfort
     
  13. B_Nick8

    B_Nick8 New Member

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    C'mon, kids, if he's just used the passive-aggressive way of texting/sexting mode of sending you a picture of his tightly brief-encased genitalia, then he's sending you a message loud and clear. Get it, got it, good.
     
    #13 B_Nick8, Oct 24, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 24, 2011
  14. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

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    Exactly! Just didn't know how to word it.

    Just a side note: i personally thought trunks should be tighter, but again. I didn't want that sounding bad.
     
  15. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

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    Normally, I'd agree. But there's a definite orientation difference between us. Maybe my gaydar is inactive on him cause we're close but I've never gotten a hint of same sex longing from him, until this incident.
     
  16. jjsjr

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    For God sake, you're friends! If a straight friend said that to me, I'd immediately turn that into a punchline.... "OMG, no!! Much tighter pleeeease!!!... LOL (then wink or something) then give my honest thought."
    but that's just me.
     
  17. D_Pat Trick Henry

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    consider yourself lucky.. id love to be this close to my male straight friends.
     
  18. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

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    XD

    I'm not quick witted enough for that I suppose lol

    I do count myself lucky. There's just a fine line I tread between being friendly and being overly friendly. The good news, and maybe this is where jjsjr is coming from, we're buddies and I don't see that changing anytime soon.

    Just gonna brush it off.

    oh and jjsjr, if I ever get the chance to, i'm using that line XD
     
  19. D_Harry_Crax

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    Yes, totally. No need to over-react with close friends (or with anyone actually, but why in particular would you want to do that to a close friend?).
     
  20. D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang

    D_Ivanna_Wanka-Wang Account Disabled

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    That's why I like you guys. Not afraid to say how it is. =)
     
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