is this unusual? is it wrong?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by zombyalive, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. zombyalive

    zombyalive Member

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    i had never thought about this in a way that made it wrong until i read on here that a good portion of you think having sex with someone who is drunk is close to rape... (am i reading this right?)

    among my friends i'm considered straight with history of, uh, trying new things? i don't know how my friends rationalize it honestly.

    anyway, at a bar some a guy started making conversation with me, and after a little bit we were actually getting along. he was about twice my age. i had no idea he was gay up until he asked me if i was straight. i told him i was straight and we continued talking as before. we step outside to smoke a cig, and he offers me some bud. this is when someone he recognizes about the same age as him walks up to us. we meet, he seems interesting while we smoke, then we head back in. around this point i see them hit some coke. another beer or two (i have some tolerance) and the bar is about to close. the first guy invites me over to his place, the second guy tells me he's got a nice place. i dont care for these things too much generally speaking, but i was drunk (when im drink i don't discriminate between poisons), he's got bud and coke, and i guess i wouldn't mind checking the place out anyway (it was pretty amazing honestly, the walls were windows from the floor up- but not the point).

    i get to the place, and we do a couple lines and the first guy starts asking me about my sexuality, whether i got a gf, if i'm actually totally straight. i may have started to feel uncomfortable, but the lines and beer erased all that. i was pretty honest with him about everything, and soon i tell him that i had fooled around with guys albiet minimally and nervously. the second guy was still there, but he played a secondary role in the conversation. they were respectful of my space, thank god, but during this question answer period, i noticed he got a pretty big hardon. over the course of the next 30 or 40 minutes, questions get even more personal and offers were made. but no sex of any kind was had and i ended up going home. i still see the guy around sometimes, but we don't actually talk. i've initiated some conversation with him since, but he is kinda dismissive- so i let it go for the most part.

    i didn't think anything was particularly wrong about this, yet had i drank any more, i'm sure i would have ended up sleeping with at least one of them. and i read in another thread from a number of people here describing situations likes this as wrong.

    i know i wouldn't do it to a girl, but i wouldn't do lots of things that others would.

    does this happen frequently for you guys/girls? what to make of it other than the obvious?
     
  2. MarkLondon

    Gold Member

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    Hmm, dunno about unusual or wrong, but it's risky behaviour health-wise to have sex with strangers when you're out of your skull with your inhibitions artificially lowered.

    Anyhow, they seem to have been respectful of you.
     
  3. bigjpgh

    bigjpgh Member

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    Under the rape laws of most, if not all, states, consent is required to negate rape, and if a person is intoxicated, the law does not recognize their consent as free and valid. So, in most, if not all, states, having sex with someone who is drunk or impaired is rape, regardless of what they say. Now, the practical application of these laws is that if the person who is drunk actually does want it and doesnt file any complaints after, then there will be no rape charges. However, if that person does report the incident, then there will be trouble. Even if they said "yes" at the time, if they were drunk or high, that "yes" is legally meaningless.
     
  4. SadPony

    SadPony New Member

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    At least they did not take advantage of you since you were drunk or high and try to date rape you.
     
  5. thirdknee63

    thirdknee63 New Member

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    Im not sure where the unusual part was,especially since you actually didnt do anything...AND im not being judgemental at all BUT..its sounds like you might be a little gayer than you think.....I mean you had fun,left and nothing happened..I DONT think it would have been rape ,had you done something willingly..I mean if everytime you fucked someone when they were drucnk and it was considered rape...WOW
     
  6. zombyalive

    zombyalive Member

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    i acknowledge that i am less discriminate than most people. labels are usually under-informed anyway. the fact that this site employs a scale could prove this. gay and straight hold little water, they present only a fraction of possible reality. even the term bi-sexual is often contended on here, it seems.


    and finally, of course i understand there was no rape involved. i was just asking, did this experience have the ingredients... i had never considered it in that light. nor would i seriously consider it in this light right now, as i remained in control and nothing happened.
     
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