my girlfriend comes home with some wine, we do some work and start drinking. while finishing up, she goes into the bedroom for a bit and comes back out wrapped in a blanket, topless but with jeans on. she tells me shes got a surprise for me, but is afraid i'll be freaked out or something. not sure what to make of the situation, but getting excited (i'm incredibly attracted to her petite body) i encourage her to 'give it to me'. she unwraps the blanket and has a huge black strapon coming through the fly in her pants. i later found out it was 8 inches long and 6 1/2 inches thick. now she'll have it on underneath a pair of jeans before we get intimate, which the first time i thought was both a little weird and pretty hot. feeling her up to find a huge pole was like finding a wallet full of money which you could spend on anything, then buying a massive dildo (or any other 'unexpected' source of pleasure). i kind of like thinking about her ready to take advantage of me with this huge thing hanging from her small body. anyway, it's getting a little redundant but she is really getting into it, and even though i like it, it's a fake penis after all and i start to feel silly blowing it. she likes including it all the time, and everything (facefucking, anal) is getting more intense as she gets a hang of positioning and leverage. i like it most when handcuffs are involved, i like being forced around i guess. do i want a be with real one? do i like thinking about her with a real one? what is she thinking during this, what does she get from it? am i gay? is she helping? i'm not sure what to make of this situation.