Right now, I know a "30"ish couple, he's got a bright future, she is a unique gal, good looking, unending list of guys hitting on her. ... she has dated on & off over the years, a few serious relationships. she's been sexually active since 16. anyway, they hooked up about 18 mos ago. the other nite he's telling me, he digs the shit out of her, but she has almost cut him off from sex in the last year, he has no idea why. they've talked about it, he has conferred with her closest gfs. it got better for awhile. he doesn't want to walk away, but hey, he's getting other offers. he's starting to think she has mental issues that are beyond him dealing with. at this point, he can just walk away. no child issues down the road. that's almost a rarity these days.
So this guy with a bright future... seems not so very bright.
She's in her 30's... She probably feels she is running out of time to start a family... She can't "afford" any more year and a half relationships that 'seem' great and promising but that result in NO commitment...
She loses intersest because he isn't stepping up... or tries to spur some kind of 'let's build a future' talk by cutting back on intimacy... nothing more than a signal that she isn't getting what she wants out of the relationship, so he isn't gonna get what he wants...
You see the risk women run in every Kiss?
If they wait till they are older and more mature to have a family, they run the risk of only having available those men still single because they are unwilling to commit.
And that runs the risk of them investing year here or there in a potential mate, only to be left with no time left at all...
Is it any wonder that women in their 20's often grab the men who ARE willing to commit?
Their divorce statistics are no worse than those who wait till their 30s or 40s, and if having children is important to them ( and, face it, women are biologically evolved to crave children ) then what's wrong with getting them while the getting is good?
Yes it narrows their potential future choices if they have kids out of wedlock at too young an age... not all women are bright... but they are dealing with forces that compel them to reproduce... while men like you are dealing with forces that compel them to sleep around.
Yeah- that's reality.
My story... I was married at 21, had two children by 27, a house, a mortgage and a career.
the marriage did not survive its 15th year... but so what? That marriage forced me to grow up, take responsibility and focus on my career to support those children who taught me that my needs were not the proper center of an evolved and adult world view.
i do not regret that marriage nor that time spent. And my children were grown and on their own by the time I was 45. Still young enough to enjoy life and women and, finally, with enough money and an established career that it was comfortable for me to enjoy myself.
And guess what? My children, raised in a family with young parents who both buckled down and worked hard to make ends meet and build a life learned by example to be hard working and ambitious young adults who put themselves thru college.
But then... the difference between my experience and many other young people is that I gave long and serious thought to these choices... and elected to embrace adulthood at that age... I was not suddenly and unexpectedly the father of some child I never wanted because of a naive girl thinking that would cement a relationship.
In my experience, for those who have a clue as to what they are doing, marriage drives ambition... not the reverse.
Personnel managers around the world know that married workers do better, more consistent work, and are more reliable investments in company time and training.
And ALL the self employed successes I know are married... seems to me that being single is a HUGE drain on your resources, both financial and physiological.