Is this what life is supposed to be?

DavidXL

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You should pursue whatever your dreams are and don't listen to people who tell you they are not achievable. You're young and seem to have the right mindset (except be sure not to knock or disparage the whole family and settling down thing, which you might want to do when you're "old" (e.g., in your 30s). FWIW, I traveled all over the world and laid the foundation for my future in my 20s (and didn't listen to people who scoffed at or were bewildered at what I was doing). I have a pretty sexy career (that's fun sexy, not sex sexy), one that people told me wasn't realistic. I set a plan (i.e., wrote it down on paper) and figured out how to get where I wanted go. It took time and hard work, but was able to pretty much exactly get what I wanted.

The funny thing is, if I had to choose between the sexy career and my family life, my family life would win out, hands down.
 

AlphaMale

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I'm kind of bothered by people's expectations of life these days but maybe I'm seeing things in a bad perspective here.

All around me I'm seeing people my age (25)getting or desperately wanting children and a relationship where basic needs are met regardless of what the future may bring, hence all the single parents.

I'm still exploring my needs and wants, I'm about to explore some modelling work and plan to travel all over the world in the coming years.
I'm in the works of starting my own business venture and trying to set some personal goals in sports as well like running in the NYC marathon.

Then I look back at my environment where people are contempt being a teenage parent and just like following nature's script or something, get your own place, get a kid and work till you die.

There are some older more experienced members here, maybe I can benefit from your experience and see if I should lower expectations as well.

There is a huge societal pressure to live your life in this way:

Go to school -> Be in a relationship -> Get Married -> Have Kids -> Pay Taxes -> Work until you die

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If for some reason you don't want to follow all of those steps to a "T", to society you are branded as being wierd and outcast.

What people who fall for this trap don't really is that they are the victim of propoganda/brainwashing and someone else is making decisions about how to live their life for them.

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The biggest variable in the equation is kids. We NEED people to work and fuel the economy. Kids = workers. This is the underlying reason why being gay is so bad to society (hate me for saying it). Straight relationships/marriages produce kids more times than not, even if it's accidental. Gay relationships don't produce kids, therefore they are bad to the capitalistic, "we need workers" society.

Kids also = jobs for teachers, doctors, lawyers, and workers in the future (i.e. fuel the economy). Marriage essentially produces the same things, but even more in some cases.

==

Basically, there is a certain class/group of people pushing the "marriage and kids" agenda. They need your kids to work for them. To be their convenience store clerks. To be their garbage men/woman. Etc. So they can live their cozy lifestyles and they or their kids don't have to do it.

They could care less if your marriage/kids brings you financial and emotional hardship or you get into those situations at too young of an age. They just want the manpower your children/relationship can potentially produce.

People fail to realize this and they have fallen into the trap for generations now.
 
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Silvertip

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... Then I look back at my environment where people are contempt being a teenage parent and just like following nature's script or something, get your own place, get a kid and work till you die ...

I left the family's nest at age 16, got my own place, got a wife and kid in my 20s and worked at a highly challenging, rewarding and fun professional career into my 50s. Then I retired and I haven't looked back since. You don't have to follow anyone's "norm", just do your own thing and make the most of it.

There is also a girl chasing me who by all means has all the basic requirements but she is happy sitting at home watching movies and doing average things with average people.

When I look around me that's all what people are doing, and I'm thinking maybe I should settle for that too as it seems to be the norm ...

It is human nature to be inclined to take the path of least resistance and, for most people, that means leading the kind of mundane life you describe above. And for some folks that can represent happiness. But it sounds as though you have more drive, ambition and imagination than that so don't settle for the mundane. Stick your neck out, take some risk, learn from your mistakes and never stop reaching for that brass ring.

... I just miss people being spontaneous and adventurous striving for excellence, getting the most out of life.And as I get older the more "boring" people get, and in my view this shouldnt be happening untill your late 30's or 40's.
We're young this is the time to be living your dreams or at least try to.

Trust me on this one: A person shouldn't lose their spontaneity, quest for excellence or desire to get the most out of their life in their late 30s or 40s or for that matter in their 50s, 60s, 70s or 80s. You're only as old as you make yourself to be. Sure, you slow down as you age and there's always the threat of senility eventually setting in or, worse yet, full blown Alzheimer's. But staying young at heart and striving for the best you possibly can throughout your entire life is one of the best tonics for avoiding the debilities of advanced age.

You mention the difficulty of obtaining a US Green Card, well don't let that keep you from trying. And for God's sake don't marry a US citizen solely for the purpose of gaining entrance to the country. What I am saying is don't let life's stumbling blocks and barriers stand in your way. Work at them, tear them down, find a path to your goal. And never listen to anyone who says it can't be done, it can always be done. During my working career I served a stint in line management. To achieve the goal that had been set before me my section needed a substantial upgrade to our facility's infrastructure. I was told by all levels of our organization's management that it simply couldn't be done. So, with approval from the highest level of management in my chain of command, I went beyond that level. I made my case, sold the justification and in short order had the upgrade. In other words, I got done what "couldn't be done." Yet all around me I constantly saw other managers simply succumbing to the common wisdom that certain things just couldn't be done.

In short, never give in, never give up, never quit.