Is working out worth it?

simcha

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If I were straight, I'd let you! (Now why is it always the straight women who say such nice things? Do you know how long I've waited to hear that from another gay man...?)


OK, here's one gay man that agrees with NJQT. Your eyes are beautiful. You also have a tasty looking cock. But then again, according to most people on this thread, I'm a fat lazy blob.


Well, my body mass index is 27.9, which is overweight for an adult of my height. My "ideal weight" should be anywhere between 136-179 lbs. I'd like to be about 160-165. That's when I looked my best. At this point I'd settle for 180, but I absolutely hate being 200 lbs.

Dude, DO NOT USE THE BMI IF YOU HAVE ANY BONE DENSITY OR ANY MUSCLE OR HAVE A LARGE FRAME. If you do you will be obese according to the BMI. Do some reading on BMI. I mean do the CRITICAL reading on BMI. Not all doctors agree that BMI indicates health. Many doctors will argue that BMI is a political tool used to "prove" that most Americans are fat and it's a tool for the diet/weightloss/exercise industry.

For a decent read on what it's like to be big and healthy read this and this.

There are advantages to having some extra fat storage. You will heal faster after an illness and you are less likely to suffer osteoperosis than skinny people. Also people who have extra fat tend to be stronger than those without extra fat. See the faqs.

Also, I think that many people on this thread have their hearts in the right place. And I think that many miss the mark.

The trick is to MOVE. Find something that you enjoy doing. If you like to take short walks outside, then do it. If you stretch, and enjoy it, do it. Even if you go out to dance at a nightclub, that movement helps.

You DO NOT have to "workout" at a gym to be healthy. If you find weightlifting to be boring, and I do too, then don't do it. Carry your groceries home or something instead and possibly rearrange your furniture from time to time. That can make a difference.

Also, you DO NOT need to use any of those boring ass machines at the gym to get cardio. Walks in the park would do it. Climbing stairs will do it. Also you can do other movement techniques like Tai Chi which is very good for you and doesn't look like it's cardio because it's slow and controlled movement, but it does have cardio benefits.

Basically, think outside the box if you want to do movement to improve your health.

You do not have to lose weight to be beautiful.

I'm quite amazed at my own case, actually. I starved myself and exercised 3 hours per day five to six days per week from the ages of about 24 through 30ish. And I had a 32 inch waist and I weighed 185ish pounds. I am 5'10" and I thought I was so hot. I was a sort of buff/twinky-looking thing and I had an appeal to a certain type of guy. I look at pictures of myself from this period and I remember being a strict vegetarian and being hungry all the time. I remember exercising so much that I ruined many of my joints and required the services of a chiropractor, biofeedback techicians, and physical therapists in order to repair even some of the damage I caused myself. In the pictures I see that my cheeks were sunken in. However my BMI was 26.5 and that is in the "overweight" zone. I have a barrel chest, huge wrists, and huge ankles. I have a large amount of muscle covering my bones. Doctors were telling me that I was too thin for my size. Tosh, I wouldn't hear of it because I was "overweight" according to BMI.

Now I know how brainwashed I was by the BMI hype. It all had to come crashing down. And once I started grad school and I had less time to work out and I stopped being a strict vegetarian and starving myself. I gained weight. I swear that I looked my best when I was about 230 pounds. Now the BMI for me at 230 is 33 and that is considered "obese." However, I felt the best I felt at 230. Men in my family are large men. We are stocky and naturally muscular. I am no exception. Also we tend to gain weight steadily as we age even if we exercise. My grandfather is 89 and he has a slight belly. But he plays softball, golfs, and jogs. He's very healthy and happy. He's considered "obese" according to the BMI. He has no heart condition and his cholesterol is just fine.

Now, I'm heavier than 230 and I have men who ogle me. I thought that if I were to gain weight that I would be "gay ugly." That is simply not true. I thought that I'd only be able to date other heavy men who aren't so easy on the eyes :wink:. I've found this not to be the case.

My docs discovered an arrhythmia that is called Ectopic Atrial Tachycardia early last year. I've received treatment without being cured. My heart rate will still skyrocket to 180 beats per minute all day if I don't keep up with my medication. The medication I'm on makes me gain weight. Also the particular arrhythmia I have makes my heart work harder to pump blood to my extremities making exercise painful sometimes, because my muscles don't receive enough oxygen. And it was explained to me that my weight had NOTHING to do with this heart condition. It's an electrical problem and is an anomaly that is weirdly common enough to cardiologists. And it develops for no reason even in people like me who have no structural problems in the heart and no plaque build up at all.

I've had to accept that I'm a large man and that perhaps I won't even be back down to what I thought was my "ideal" weight of 230. I weigh around 265 to 270 and I have to tell you, I have no shortage of men after my body. I find it strange still because I'm fighting the programming that we are all given that says, "Big is UGLY." Apparently the men who want me don't think so. And, oddly enough, it's often the gym bunnies who seem to want me and they seem to like big guys. I can't explain it, actually.

So, I do a lot of work in my own psychotherapy sessions with my own therapist in order to accept my body the way it is and to see the beauty that others see in it.

Also, I've been working on moving more in more creative ways that don't unduly stress my heart so that I don't equate "movement" or "exercise" with pain anymore. I always thought that the only good workout was one that hurt. Now I know better. I move more smartly and I have to say I'm slowly feeling better as I adjust to life dealing with this electrical issue in my heart.

So, please don't get down on yourself for being heavier because your body has changed and you have some medical issues. We all need to learn to be happy with our bodies no matter what size or shape first. Place health first. Don't get hung up on numbers on a scale, the BMI, what others have to say about working out and certainly don't take on society's issues with large people. Just strive for a healthier you for your own sake and believe that you are beautiful, because you are, Meniscus. I say this after looking at your eyes and reading your writing. And I say it because I also need to accept my own body as beautiful too.

Take care.... Simcha :rolleyes:
 

Principessa

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I think there is something to this. I think if someone runs, cycles or does a lot of aerobic exercise for a few years, then they can get by without much exercise for a few years. But eventually the body forgets how to burn the calories and fat and they start to put on weight.

I check my resting pulse often to measure my cardiovascular shape. It used to be 45 in my 20's, now it's between 50 and 55. I haven't been doing a lot of cardio lately, so I'm going to try to do a little more.

Well, I still wonder what a reasonable amount of exercise is. There is a diminishing return on exercise at some point. That's what I was saying, that maybe I could get by with a little less exercise and spend those extra hours enjoying myself some other way.
I think you should spend at least 3 hours a week having sex as it is an excellent full body, cardiovascular workout. Done properly you will get your heart rate up.

OK, here's one gay man that agrees with NJQT. Your eyes are beautiful. You also have a tasty looking cock. But then again, according to most people on this thread, I'm a fat lazy blob. Oh Great, yet another gay man that I can't go cruising with. :tongue: *SNIP* Also, I think that many people on this thread have their hearts in the right place. And I think that many miss the mark. True, that is the beauty of this place though. :smile:

The trick is to MOVE. Find something that you enjoy doing. If you like to take short walks outside, then do it. If you stretch, and enjoy it, do it. Even if you go out to dance at a nightclub, that movement helps. Getting a dog might help. Something low energy but that will get you out to walk it at least 3 or 4 times a day.

You DO NOT have to "workout" at a gym to be healthy. If you find weightlifting to be boring, and I do too, then don't do it. Carry your groceries home or something instead and possibly rearrange your furniture from time to time. That can make a difference.

Also, you DO NOT need to use any of those boring ass machines at the gym to get cardio. Walks in the park would do it. Climbing stairs will do it. Also you can do other movement techniques like Tai Chi which is very good for you and doesn't look like it's cardio because it's slow and controlled movement, but it does have cardio benefits.

Basically, think outside the box if you want to do movement to improve your health. I am lazy; but love yoga I have some DVD's on basic Hatha Yoga which I enjoy doing, and I always feel better after. :cool:

You do not have to lose weight to be beautiful. :smile: QFT

*SNIP* So, please don't get down on yourself for being heavier because your body has changed and you have some medical issues. We all need to learn to be happy with our bodies no matter what size or shape first. Place health first. Don't get hung up on numbers on a scale, the BMI, what others have to say about working out and certainly don't take on society's issues with large people. Just strive for a healthier you for your own sake and believe that you are beautiful, because you are, Meniscus. I say this after looking at your eyes and reading your writing. And I say it because I also need to accept my own body as beautiful too.

Take care.... Simcha :rolleyes:
Excellent advice!
 

Meniscus

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Here's my take on the exercise thing. I've seen it over and over again. People buy treadmills and other exercise equipmet for their home. It ends up in the garbage a few months later. Exercising in the home by yourself is like watching the clock tick. After a half hour it seems like you've been doing it for days, and and sure is no fun, so then you say this really sucks. eah I know, watch the tv, listen to music. Tried it all and it's just real boring. Then there are the one's who join the gym and go a few times and then go less and less and then never rejoin the following year...

Exactly.

...So here's my take. The only exercise I have ever been able to maintain and truely not feel like I am drudgingly exercising, is a game or sports or exercise class. Play a little tennis, jog a little, play some softball, throw a football around, play racketball, ride your bike, get into a cycling or arobics class, go swimming, play volleyball. This enrices your life with fun and time plus you meet new people, so you don't feel like you are exercising....if it's not fun you won't stick with it. Half of feeling healthy is enjoying it...there must be a lot of poeple that feel the same way...one of the most important things about the sport thing, is to be playing for fun.

Yes, I think many people feel the same way. These are all great suggestions. The problem for me is that none of them sound interesting. I've just never been able to find a physical activity that I enjoy. But I still that you've got the right idea, and I appreciate the different perspective and the good ideas. Thanks.
 

WellHung83

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I have become insanely addicted to Spin classes, which is funny when you consider I have never done a full on conviction to get in shape before in such a long time. The main reason I did Spin classes was I read that they burn a lot of calories in one sitting and at the same time helps build up your leg and bum, which are two areas I want to improve in size on top of shedding some unsightly belly flab.
But damn man ! When you get off the bike my bum is so sore and my legs are burning like they are getting poked by so many pins and needles and my bum also feels so taunt and hard as steel. I cant help but touch it sometimes afterwards when I get that feeling LOL. I used to hate the feeling I would get after the spin class, but now I have become addicted to it and jsut think that ' Yeah, it hurts like a bitch now, but that burning sensation is all that unsightly fat getting burned up and helping me get closer and closer to that six pack I want'.
 

Lex

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OK, here's one gay man that agrees with NJQT. Your eyes are beautiful. You also have a tasty looking cock. But then again, according to most people on this thread, I'm a fat lazy blob.

No, according to me, you are a bear. Bear's (furry men) with bulk, an be sexy. My hubby is a bear. Hmmm....

I also agree with NJQT and you--he's hot.


Dude, DO NOT USE THE BMI IF YOU HAVE ANY BONE DENSITY OR ANY MUSCLE OR HAVE A LARGE FRAME. If you do you will be obese according to the BMI.

Exactly. At 6'2" and 202 , my BMI is 25.9 meaning that I am obese. Right.

There is no one measure for good health. I have high cholesterol even though I eat well and exercise regularly.

Now, I'm heavier than 230 and I have men who ogle me. I thought that if I were to gain weight that I would be "gay ugly." That is simply not true. I thought that I'd only be able to date other heavy men who aren't so easy on the eyes :wink:. I've found this not to be the case.

...

I've had to accept that I'm a large man and that perhaps I won't even be back down to what I thought was my "ideal" weight of 230. I weigh around 265 to 270 and I have to tell you, I have no shortage of men after my body. I find it strange still because I'm fighting the programming that we are all given that says, "Big is UGLY." Apparently the men who want me don't think so. And, oddly enough, it's often the gym bunnies who seem to want me and they seem to like big guys. I can't explain it, actually.....

Because you are handsome and there are men who like beefy men. See: My previous comments about being a bear. Not all men like men to look exactly like them--I don't.

bigmusclebears.com
bear411.com

Yup.
 

Meniscus

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...I was 5'11"/190/34" waist and the time and literally decided one day that enough was enough...

Alas, I've not yet managed to get to that point. I thought hitting 200 lbs. a year ago would do it. At least I've managed not to put on any more weight.

...I shed a bunch of fat within a few months...Now I've settled in at a comfortable 175-178 lbs. & 32" waist and have maintained that for well over a year now. Sure, I could easily stand to lose a few pounds, but I love to eat and I'm not about to give that up (yet!)...Overall, I love the way I feel and happen to think I look pretty good for a dude who's knocking on the door of the big 4-0. Now, if I could only put the brakes on the hair loss/graying...

Now this is an inspirational story to me. I hope someday to achieve similar results...if I ever get around to trying. And yes, you do look good, and not just "for your age."

I think the trick to exercising every day is to weave the activity into your natural day to day life so it doesn't feel like a chore that you have to go out of your way to do...I work out about 3-4 times a week during lunch time.

I've heard that before, but I have no idea how to make that happen. I only get a half-hour for lunch, and I want to eat!

OK, here's one gay man that agrees with NJQT. Your eyes are beautiful.

OK, I have to admit, the one thing I'm vain about is my eyes. For my high school yearbook, I voted for myself for "Best Eyes." I was a nobody in high school so of course I didn't win, but I've always believed that I should have

You also have a tasty looking cock.
:tongue:

Dude, DO NOT USE THE BMI IF YOU HAVE ANY BONE DENSITY OR ANY MUSCLE OR HAVE A LARGE FRAME...BMI is a political tool used to "prove" that most Americans are fat and it's a tool for the diet/weightloss/exercise industry...I have a barrel chest, huge wrists, and huge ankles. I have a large amount of muscle covering my bones. Doctors were telling me that I was too thin for my size.

I have no muscle and don't have a large frame like you. (My wrists are so skinny I have to adjust watchbands to the smallest size.) Nevertheless I appreciate the perspective. When I did the BMI I was surprised that my ideal weight could go as low as 136 lbs. I remember being that thin and it was way too skinny. I didn't feel or look good until I got up to about 160 or so.

The trick is to MOVE. Find something that you enjoy doing. If you like to take short walks outside, then do it. If you stretch, and enjoy it, do it. Even if you go out to dance at a nightclub, that movement helps.

Agreed. But finding something I enjoy doing is easier said than done. So far I haven't been able to find anything that's "stuck."

I've had to accept that I'm a large man and that perhaps I won't even be back down to what I thought was my "ideal" weight of 230. I weigh around 265 to 270 and I have to tell you, I have no shortage of men after my body. I find it strange still because I'm fighting the programming that we are all given that says, "Big is UGLY." Apparently the men who want me don't think so. And, oddly enough, it's often the gym bunnies who seem to want me and they seem to like big guys.

Over the years I've met several men who were BIG. Not necessarily fat, but big. And they wore it well. (A couple of them were really good dancers. It was quite amazing watching someone that big move so quickly and seemingly without effort.) They certainly didn't look like models or the guys in fitness magazines, but it was obvious just by looking at them that they were the right size. They were handsome, too, but I have to admit that it took a little while for me to see them that way, because I wasn't used to seeing big as beautiful. I do know guys--usually thin and/or fit guys--who like big men.

I would also mention that there are some big women who look amazing. Queen Latifah comes to mind. (And I still can't get used to Carnie Wilson being thin. She looks weird to me thin. I liked her better big, but I guess she was having some serious health problems and did need to lose the weight.)

So, please don't get down on yourself for being heavier because your body has changed and you have some medical issues...Just strive for a healthier you for your own sake and believe that you are beautiful, because you are, Meniscus. I say this after looking at your eyes and reading your writing. And I say it because I also need to accept my own body as beautiful too.

I will try. When I made my original post in this thread, I was sure that any attempt at a "pep talk" would just make me feel worse, but I have to admit your post cheered me up quite a bit. Thanks.
 

wants2bebigger

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yes working out is worth it i joined a gym last september and i have never felt better. i have lost a ton of fat, gained some muscle and i generally feel great. but as everyone has said, go becuase you want to change yourself, and not for the sake of someone else. and hopefully by years end i will have a body as good as (or better than) brislands or monster.
 

simcha

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No, according to me, you are a bear. Bear's (furry men) with bulk, an be sexy. My hubby is a bear. Hmmm....

Yes, I know about bears. I've been so labelled and I'm not fighting it. For me it's like, whatever works...

Exactly. At 6'2" and 202 , my BMI is 25.9 meaning that I am obese. Right. There is no one measure for good health. I have high cholesterol even though I eat well and exercise regularly.

LOL, precisely. I think people should read more about what BMI is actually about and not what we are "supposed" to believe about it.

And yes, I know, my Mom isn't overweight at all but high cholesterol runs in her family. And I may have the beginnings of it. But, alas, because I'm a big guy, they're trying to claim my cholesterol is due to my weight. HOGWASH! I eat reasonably and I stick to high fiber and lower fat meals. I eat veggies and such. I don't eat deserts. In fact, I don't really have a sweet tooth. But, ask the docs and they'll try to tell you that someone like me who is "morbidly obese" according the the BMI causes their own problems with high cholesterol. Never mind that fully 1/2 of my family has high cholesterol and aren't as big as me. Grrrrrr.... It makes me mad.

Because you are handsome and there are men who like beefy men. See: My previous comments about being a bear. Not all men like men to look exactly like them--I don't.

Awww, you're sweet. :rolleyes: You prove my point. Thank you.

Simcha
 

simcha

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OK, I have to admit, the one thing I'm vain about is my eyes. For my high school yearbook, I voted for myself for "Best Eyes." I was a nobody in high school so of course I didn't win, but I've always believed that I should have

Well, work those eyes. They're awesome. :tongue:

I have no muscle and don't have a large frame like you. (My wrists are so skinny I have to adjust watchbands to the smallest size.) Nevertheless I appreciate the perspective. When I did the BMI I was surprised that my ideal weight could go as low as 136 lbs. I remember being that thin and it was way too skinny. I didn't feel or look good until I got up to about 160 or so.

Well, find peace with yourself first. Somehow I bet that there are men looking at you. You're probably not noticing because you think that it's not happening.

Agreed. But finding something I enjoy doing is easier said than done. So far I haven't been able to find anything that's "stuck."

Contrary to some, it's never too late. Give yourself time. Be patient with yourself.

Over the years I've met several men who were BIG. Not necessarily fat, but big. And they wore it well. (A couple of them were really good dancers. It was quite amazing watching someone that big move so quickly and seemingly without effort.) They certainly didn't look like models or the guys in fitness magazines, but it was obvious just by looking at them that they were the right size. They were handsome, too, but I have to admit that it took a little while for me to see them that way, because I wasn't used to seeing big as beautiful. I do know guys--usually thin and/or fit guys--who like big men.

Yes, people are quite amazed at how well I dance and I can move my body. I'm way more limber than anyone assumes. I do carry my weight well, I know that. And you can be that way too, dear. Sometimes we just have to accept new realities about our physical form and adapt.

I would also mention that there are some big women who look amazing. Queen Latifah comes to mind. (And I still can't get used to Carnie Wilson being thin. She looks weird to me thin. I liked her better big, but I guess she was having some serious health problems and did need to lose the weight.)

Yes, Queen Latifah is so beautiful. I wouldn't probably think so if she lost all her weight.

I will try. When I made my original post in this thread, I was sure that any attempt at a "pep talk" would just make me feel worse, but I have to admit your post cheered me up quite a bit. Thanks.

Awww, thanks. For me it's about acceptance of where I am right now. I need to love myself now, because there may never be a tomorrow. Today is all I have. I think that beauty is an inside job. I'm convinced of it. On days where I feel better about myself and I feel I look good, I get treated as if others feel I look good. On days where I'm crabby and I think I'm fat and ugly, people treat me not so nicely sometimes.... Sometimes people pick up on my energy.

Take care,
Simcha
 

B_bobs3304

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My answer?


When a doberman chases after your ass, and you're too out of breath to avoid his jaws, you'll know the answer.
 

titan1968

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Italian1, I think you do need a new exercise programme. I suggest that you make an appointment with a fitness instructor at your gym. A qualified fitness instructor will ask you the following questions: 1) what are your fitness goals?; 2) are there any exercises you cannot do (e.g. lower back pain, a bad knee or other medical problems); 3) which exercises do you like? In Canada, most fitness trainers ask their clients to fill out a ''PAR-Q'' or Physical Activity Readiness Questionnaire, which enables them to get to know their clients' medical health a little better (I don't know what you have in your country).

Apart from the obvious health benefits mentioned in Lex's and other members' posts (e.g. stronger bones and muscles, lower blood pressure, lower cholesterol levels) working out is fun (it's good for the mind and the body!), and you get to meet many interesting people.

In your case, I believe you need a new programme-- one that is tailored to your needs. Remember to change it every month or so. I hope I was helpful. Have fun!

I didn't want to go all week, but I managed to go once and it sucked. I'm going Sunday morning as far as I know. That's what I'm saying now, but come tomorrow morning I may change my mind. Maybe I do need to change my routine. I wish there was a pill you could take instead of working out. You could pick the picture of the body you want to look like, pop the pill every day, and never have to go to the damn gym again.