simcha
Sexy Member
- Joined
- Jul 16, 2007
- Posts
- 2,173
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- 268
- Location
- San Leandro, CA, USA
- Sexuality
- 99% Gay, 1% Straight
- Gender
- Male
If I were straight, I'd let you! (Now why is it always the straight women who say such nice things? Do you know how long I've waited to hear that from another gay man...?)
OK, here's one gay man that agrees with NJQT. Your eyes are beautiful. You also have a tasty looking cock. But then again, according to most people on this thread, I'm a fat lazy blob.
Well, my body mass index is 27.9, which is overweight for an adult of my height. My "ideal weight" should be anywhere between 136-179 lbs. I'd like to be about 160-165. That's when I looked my best. At this point I'd settle for 180, but I absolutely hate being 200 lbs.
Dude, DO NOT USE THE BMI IF YOU HAVE ANY BONE DENSITY OR ANY MUSCLE OR HAVE A LARGE FRAME. If you do you will be obese according to the BMI. Do some reading on BMI. I mean do the CRITICAL reading on BMI. Not all doctors agree that BMI indicates health. Many doctors will argue that BMI is a political tool used to "prove" that most Americans are fat and it's a tool for the diet/weightloss/exercise industry.
For a decent read on what it's like to be big and healthy read this and this.
There are advantages to having some extra fat storage. You will heal faster after an illness and you are less likely to suffer osteoperosis than skinny people. Also people who have extra fat tend to be stronger than those without extra fat. See the faqs.
Also, I think that many people on this thread have their hearts in the right place. And I think that many miss the mark.
The trick is to MOVE. Find something that you enjoy doing. If you like to take short walks outside, then do it. If you stretch, and enjoy it, do it. Even if you go out to dance at a nightclub, that movement helps.
You DO NOT have to "workout" at a gym to be healthy. If you find weightlifting to be boring, and I do too, then don't do it. Carry your groceries home or something instead and possibly rearrange your furniture from time to time. That can make a difference.
Also, you DO NOT need to use any of those boring ass machines at the gym to get cardio. Walks in the park would do it. Climbing stairs will do it. Also you can do other movement techniques like Tai Chi which is very good for you and doesn't look like it's cardio because it's slow and controlled movement, but it does have cardio benefits.
Basically, think outside the box if you want to do movement to improve your health.
You do not have to lose weight to be beautiful.
I'm quite amazed at my own case, actually. I starved myself and exercised 3 hours per day five to six days per week from the ages of about 24 through 30ish. And I had a 32 inch waist and I weighed 185ish pounds. I am 5'10" and I thought I was so hot. I was a sort of buff/twinky-looking thing and I had an appeal to a certain type of guy. I look at pictures of myself from this period and I remember being a strict vegetarian and being hungry all the time. I remember exercising so much that I ruined many of my joints and required the services of a chiropractor, biofeedback techicians, and physical therapists in order to repair even some of the damage I caused myself. In the pictures I see that my cheeks were sunken in. However my BMI was 26.5 and that is in the "overweight" zone. I have a barrel chest, huge wrists, and huge ankles. I have a large amount of muscle covering my bones. Doctors were telling me that I was too thin for my size. Tosh, I wouldn't hear of it because I was "overweight" according to BMI.
Now I know how brainwashed I was by the BMI hype. It all had to come crashing down. And once I started grad school and I had less time to work out and I stopped being a strict vegetarian and starving myself. I gained weight. I swear that I looked my best when I was about 230 pounds. Now the BMI for me at 230 is 33 and that is considered "obese." However, I felt the best I felt at 230. Men in my family are large men. We are stocky and naturally muscular. I am no exception. Also we tend to gain weight steadily as we age even if we exercise. My grandfather is 89 and he has a slight belly. But he plays softball, golfs, and jogs. He's very healthy and happy. He's considered "obese" according to the BMI. He has no heart condition and his cholesterol is just fine.
Now, I'm heavier than 230 and I have men who ogle me. I thought that if I were to gain weight that I would be "gay ugly." That is simply not true. I thought that I'd only be able to date other heavy men who aren't so easy on the eyes :wink:. I've found this not to be the case.
My docs discovered an arrhythmia that is called Ectopic Atrial Tachycardia early last year. I've received treatment without being cured. My heart rate will still skyrocket to 180 beats per minute all day if I don't keep up with my medication. The medication I'm on makes me gain weight. Also the particular arrhythmia I have makes my heart work harder to pump blood to my extremities making exercise painful sometimes, because my muscles don't receive enough oxygen. And it was explained to me that my weight had NOTHING to do with this heart condition. It's an electrical problem and is an anomaly that is weirdly common enough to cardiologists. And it develops for no reason even in people like me who have no structural problems in the heart and no plaque build up at all.
I've had to accept that I'm a large man and that perhaps I won't even be back down to what I thought was my "ideal" weight of 230. I weigh around 265 to 270 and I have to tell you, I have no shortage of men after my body. I find it strange still because I'm fighting the programming that we are all given that says, "Big is UGLY." Apparently the men who want me don't think so. And, oddly enough, it's often the gym bunnies who seem to want me and they seem to like big guys. I can't explain it, actually.
So, I do a lot of work in my own psychotherapy sessions with my own therapist in order to accept my body the way it is and to see the beauty that others see in it.
Also, I've been working on moving more in more creative ways that don't unduly stress my heart so that I don't equate "movement" or "exercise" with pain anymore. I always thought that the only good workout was one that hurt. Now I know better. I move more smartly and I have to say I'm slowly feeling better as I adjust to life dealing with this electrical issue in my heart.
So, please don't get down on yourself for being heavier because your body has changed and you have some medical issues. We all need to learn to be happy with our bodies no matter what size or shape first. Place health first. Don't get hung up on numbers on a scale, the BMI, what others have to say about working out and certainly don't take on society's issues with large people. Just strive for a healthier you for your own sake and believe that you are beautiful, because you are, Meniscus. I say this after looking at your eyes and reading your writing. And I say it because I also need to accept my own body as beautiful too.
Take care.... Simcha