Is your current lover the best you ever had?

[Drifterwood]

Anonymous poll for obvious reasons.

There have been a number of posts in other sections about going back after big etc. I wondered if generally and irrespective of gender or orientation, whether people have stayed with the person who has been their most enjoyable sexual partner?

If there are differences between the sexes and orientations, that would be interesting.

 

[Diesel 7"]

Yeah she is. Enough said.:wink:

 

[Drifterwood]

I am sort of bumping this, because people are voting and not posting.

But thank you for voting. So far I am surprised but not shocked. I would genuinely like to know how people feel about being with people who are not their best lovers. I am going through this issue myself at the moment, hence the thread.

Apologies for the lovers/partner confusion. I tend to think in terms of lovers and most people, I am presuming, tend to think in terms of partners.

 

[At.your.cervix]

My current lover is fine, but I've had the pleasure of pleasuring some amazingly talented women over the years. My greatest "druther" is that balls deep penetration isn't one of her favorite things, but I've learned to deal with it. That said, there's a lot more important things about a partner than just bedroom performance, although that isn't totally unimportant either.

 

[Drifterwood]

Final bump from me.

Thanks for voting.

 

[silentview]

yeah, but does it count being as she's my first?.. I like to think so.

 

[Drifterwood]

yeah, but does it count being as she's my first?.. I like to think so.

Would you have responded if the question had been, is your current lover the worst you ever had? :wink:

 

[nudeyorker]

The best in some respects, and different in others.
Question and answer type question, but I only have an essay type answer. Sorry I won't bore you with details!

 

[Drifterwood]

The best in some respects, and different in others.
Question and answer type question, but I only have an essay type answer. Sorry I won't bore you with details!

Yes. I think that you can give a relative response though. It might be yes, in all respects, or yes on balance with some caveats. They are both still a yes. Likewise, No. No in all respects would be rather sad.

No one has responded, which one? :biggrin1:

 

[TopDudeFtl]

Yes. He is the ying to my yang. (As corny as it sounds.) I am a total dominant top & he is a total submissive bottom. I have never had a more perfect sexual match. Also, he is the most adventurous lover I have ever had as well. :biggrin1:

 

[silentview]

Would you have responded if the question had been, is your current lover the worst you ever had? :wink:

hell no, she's been a blast.:biggrin1:

 

[midlifebear]

The Squeeze is not the "best" lover I've ever had. The age difference is enough that we run into obstacles (but they are never about sex). But he does have one thing in his favor over all of the rest: he is the sweetest and most genuinely romantic, and I find it impossible not to love him. Plus, he possesses a set of social manners that makes the Queen of England come across as white trash. And another thing The Squeeze brings to our marriage is the definite advantage that he doesn't speak or understand ANY English beyond "Hello", and "It is a pleasure to meet you." This difference between us keeps me alert and on my toes, because the responsibility for keeping the exchange of communication open is upon my shoulders.

My "best" was my previous lover of 7+ years for whom I still carry a torch. But I carry that torch quietly hidden in a closet.

As Nudeyorker stated, this topic requires an essay-length response.

 

[flaman]

My partner and I have been together for 23 years. The only complaint I have is that I need sex more often than him. I am six years older than him. My sex drive is still quite high. When we do have sex, it is good, but it used to be alot better. I think at times he could be ok with no sex at all. We seldom argue. When we do, it's usually about sex. We have a good life. Good jobs. Our home and our vehicles are paid off and we have no money issues. Only the issue with sex. I left my wife years ago to be with him. The sex with him was awesome. I can't picture life with out him, but I do like my sex and things have to change. It makes me confused and wonder why we stay together.

 

[B_Mister Buildington]

She is far and away the best. Wouldn't have settled down with one woman if I hadn't found one like her.

 

[Jovial]

(What if someone doesn't have a current partner? :redface

This is a good poll question. I've wondered about some couples I see. I theorize that some people just settle for the first person that is reasonable sexually. They don't ever think that maybe they could do better. It seems like they'd rather just settle and get on with their life than risk going through a stretch of singleness and uncertainty.

I guess I'm saying that for these people, they are with their best lover simply because they ended up with the first partner that was somewhat good.

 

[B_thickjohnny]

I'd say yes even though there have been at least one that was better in sex. That said, there is more to life together than sex. BF of 3 years is sweet and I'm very happy to be together with him. There is a 30 year age gap and that can make for problems but they are workable.

 

[deleted356736]

There is more to a long-term relationship than sex, as long as the sex is okay or good. I have had some fantastic sexual partners, but women I wouldn't have married. My wife is good and we are sexually compatible, and we are compatible in many other ways as well (of course).

What I wouldn't settle for is a relationship without a fairly good sex life, no matter how good other aspects of the relationship were.