Issue with yourself in plain day light

[huguest]

Well, it's a real issue, my new girlfriend, of 39 years old have issue with her body image, and she doesn't wish me to see her in plain day light fully naked.

I see this as a issue, not only for her, but for me too. For her, she just need to make sex the light close. For me, I wish to see her for what she is (beautiful). My desire for her body pass by the image I make in my mind of her.

She say that issue is due in part because of remark to her body when she was in school (sexual comments).

At the moment, I just comply, and give her time.

Did you ever experimented something similar, if so, why ? and how you manage ?

 

[AlteredEgo]

I pretended to be confident until I was.

 

[Holly Doors]

Just take it slowly hunni, show her how much you love her how much you love her body. kiss and caress her womanly body all over, make her feel special, express how much her body excites you. After some time maybe start by having a lit candle in the room or dim lamp when she's ready, it'll fall into place eventually just be positive sweetie xx

 

[creek47]

I would say that kind words and being supportive is your best bet. Time feels a lot so give it time!

 

[EllieP]

A patient partner is more valuable than anything else I can think of.

Encouragement is wonderful, but I've been where she is, and I know how devastating it can be.

"Well, you look beautiful to me," he says.

And I respond, "Yeah, to you, and probably only to you."

Don't get beat down by her. Keep lifting her up. Sometimes you don't have to say anything, but be consistent.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Body image issues aren't strictly women's issues, but it seems like women are put under more pressure by society to look a specific way.

Don't make it about her, don't make it about you... Approach the topic without putting more pressure on her.

Don't hold it against her if she can't find a way to feel comfortable with her nakedness. Be there to appreciate it if she can.

 

[286798]

Agree with both TNJ & Ellie. I have been there, too... when I've been skinny (for me), when I've been heavy (for me).

It's sad that she still carries this burden ~20 years later. I get it. I carried that load, too, for far too long. I can't really offer any suggestions because I think I just found self acceptance and it didn't come from a man. I do think a lot of my getting in the right headspace was being happy with all of me... my brain, my heart, my sexuality. The less I focused on my physical body, the more I found my inner RAWR!!!! Show her you love all of her, and don't focus on what she views as the negative parts.

 

[693987]

Body image issues aren't strictly women's issues,

^

 

[MickeyLee]

I got tired of criticizing myself. One day it was easier to love me than it was to keep on finding flaws.

I decided to love myself. All of me.

I was faking it at first but "fuck it" is mad liberating.

How to help? What the other ladies have said is dead on. Do what they said.

 

[1209489]

Been here so many times! Took me forever to be completely naked with my husband, but I know that he truly finds me sexy, loves me, and desires me. To know you’re truly desired is the biggest turn on! Keep showing her how desirable she is

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

A patient partner is more valuable than anything else I can think of.

Encouragement is wonderful, but I've been where she is, and I know how devastating it can be.

"Well, you look beautiful to me," he says.

And I respond, "Yeah, to you, and probably only to you."

Don't get beat down by her. Keep lifting her up. Sometimes you don't have to say anything, but be consistent.

May I ask if your remark above was to someone with whom you had a committed relationship, and if so, does anyone else's opinion matter? For that matter, does his? I suppose that's the root of our body image issues....if we don't feel attractive, nobody can say differently.

 

[EllieP]

May I ask if your remark above was to someone with whom you had a committed relationship, and if so, does anyone else's opinion matter? For that matter, does his? I suppose that's the root of our body image issues....if we don't feel attractive, nobody can say differently.

Yes, it's my husband. When I was turning 40 I was having a breakdown. I shared it on here then. I fought it with all my might, but I figured I was done with being attractive. I've always had body issues, though, so it's not a new thing with me.

And yes, opinions of others do matter to me. My Mum always said I was beautiful, but there's that mother's markup that you have to discount. My best friend told me the same, but again, I always thought she was trying to make me feel good.

It's true, if you don't feel attractive no one can convince you differently.

And for the record, I'm perfectly happy with my figure presently, but I fight for it every day. One day I may tire of it, but at that point I really won't care. I hope.

 

[huguest]

Thanks to all. I will be there for her.

I got issue too. I'm working on it. We all have.

 

[286798]

My Mum always said I was beautiful, but there's that mother's markup that you have to discount.

Consider yourself lucky. My mom made fun of me when i couldnt fit into one of her prom dresses when i was too young to state here... mind you, i was a competitive swimmer with a large ribcage and below 15% body fat, and it would zip fine if i exhaled hard. My brother dedicated Queens "Fat Bottom Girls" to me on my 21st birthday... and i was in similar shape.

Kinda ironic that we both had self esteem issues from opposite experiences.

 

[MickeyLee]

Consider yourself lucky. My mom made fun of me when i couldnt fit into one of her prom dresses when i was too young to state here... mind you, i was a competitive swimmer with a large ribcage and below 15% body fat, and it would zip fine if i exhaled hard. My brother dedicated Queens "Fat Bottom Girls" to me on my 21st birthday... and i was in similar shape.

Kinda ironic that we both had self esteem issues from opposite experiences.

My mom always wanted the fine-boned, petite-perfect daughter. She got a giant. Even though my weight was healthy, she constantly fussed that I was too big. No, mom. Not fat. I'm *age not mentioned* and 5'10". I am no going to be able to buy clothes in the juniors department.

All her nagging backfired. I ended up a gym-rat with a pretty impressive upper body *HA!*

It's my mother's complete horror that I made it to 5'11" without getting into modeling. My mom modeled most her teen years, well into adulthood and kids.I told her not to bed down with sasquatches. My dad is a proud sasquatch