Issues with approaching young women

[sangheili90]

Hey guys,

As many of you on here are aware I completely suck with women, I literally cannot approach because I can't think of a single thing to say, what to do etc. I've been paying a lot more attention when I'm out to see if women may be interested in me or not and I've noticed that many check me out, smile etc. but I get completely lost for words and super nervous/anxious. One particular incident that I cant stand thinking about was when I went to the grocery store after a gym sessions, they are literally in the same building complex, and when I walked in there was this super hot woman wearing the tight sports shorts that girls wear to the gym and I couldn't help but stare at her amazing ass. I was walking toward her, not to approach but just because I needed to go down that aisle, and she looked over at me and held my gaze. It made me really uncomfortable and I couldn't think of anything to say so I had to look away.

So, my issue is trying to come up with a means to overcome this approach anxiety, its become borderline impossible for me to identify a means to overcome this.

 

[sangheili90]

Sorry about the grammatical error guys, this keyboard really does suck. I wish they still had the editing feature.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

I was walking toward her, not to approach but just because I needed to go down that aisle, and she looked over at me and held my gaze. It made me really uncomfortable and I couldn't think of anything to say so I had to look away.

So, my issue is trying to come up with a means to overcome this approach anxiety, its become borderline impossible for me to identify a means to overcome this.

Instead of looking away, next time something similar happens try to just smile and maybe give a friendly hello. Don't try to take leaps and bounds out of your comfort zone... tippy toe into a bigger one. You don't have to strike up a conversation as you pass by but perhaps just smiling and saying hi could help build your confidence so that when you do have a good oportunity to strike up an actual conversation you'll be more willing to engage.

Those were my first thougts... hopefully they're helpful in some way.

 

[twoton]

Instead of looking away, next time something similar happens try to just smile and maybe give a friendly hello.

Yes. If you start off with the thought, 'this is the hottest woman I've ever talked to and if it works out then we'll have phenomenal sex for the rest of our lives because we're going to get married and if I blow it in the next three seconds I will be a total loser like the World has never seen,' then you will probably choke.

If you start off with the thought, 'she's kinda hot,' and immediately follow with, "Hi!" and keep on movin' on, you'll be much happier.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Oh, and if you want to find a good woman, be a good man. Don't be an asshole.

 

[temptotalk]

As someone that has problems being social no matter the gender..yeah Tight_N_Juicy and twoton hit the nail on the head.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Instead of looking away, next time something similar happens try to just smile and maybe give a friendly hello. Don't try to take leaps and bounds out of your comfort zone... tippy toe into a bigger one. You don't have to strike up a conversation as you pass by but perhaps just smiling and saying hi could help build your confidence so that when you do have a good oportunity to strike up an actual conversation you'll be more willing to engage.

Those were my first thougts... hopefully they're helpful in some way.

This was exactly my advice, only I'd add that when you do this, wen may start the conversation for you every once in a while.

 

[AlteredEgo]

This was exactly my advice, only I'd add that when you do this, wen may start the conversation for you every once in a while.

Not sure what's up with my keyboard today. Sooo many typos and weird auto-correct words. Anyway, that should read that women may start the conversation, not wen. Apologies.

 

[sangheili90]

Pretty good advice guys, thanks.

 

[sangheili90]

Not sure what's up with my keyboard today. Sooo many typos and weird auto-correct words. Anyway, that should read that women may start the conversation, not wen. Apologies.

Honestly, I would never expect a woman to eve initiate a conversation with me lol. People in general rarely ever approach me or feel comfortable around me, I think it would be safe to assume a lady that is interested in me would ever go out of her way to talk to me.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Honestly, I would never expect a woman to eve initiate a conversation with me lol. People in general rarely ever approach me or feel comfortable around me, I think it would be safe to assume a lady that is interested in me would ever go out of her way to talk to me.

They might if you were smiling and saying hello. Sometimes all it takes is breaking the ice a little, and a polite greeting with no expectations is a great icebreaker.

 

[sangheili90]

They might if you were smiling and saying hello. Sometimes all it takes is breaking the ice a little, and a polite greeting with no expectations is a great icebreaker.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting about this over the past few days and I've had a shit ton of opportunities that I missed out on because I couldn't think of anything to say. I am as an individual a very introverted/quiet person, its very rare for me to strike up a conversation with people unless I know them really well. It doesn't necessarily make me a loser but just means that my strengths lie elsewhere.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I've been doing a lot of reflecting about this over the past few days and I've had a shit ton of opportunities that I missed out on because I couldn't think of anything to say. I am as an individual a very introverted/quiet person, its very rare for me to strike up a conversation with people unless I know them really well. It doesn't necessarily make me a loser but just means that my strengths lie elsewhere.

Well, I certainly don't think of you as a loser! Actually, I like you very much. You're a real thinker, a smart man, and as an introvert, you surely have a rich inner life. You will figure out how to play to your strengths and create the life you want. I just know it.

 

[sangheili90]

Well, I certainly don't think of you as a loser! Actually, I like you very much. You're a real thinker, a smart man, and as an introvert, you surely have a rich inner life. You will figure out how to play to your strengths and create the life you want. I just know it.

Thanks, I just gotta find my niche.

 

[rayray]

The first thing i do when walking into a grocery store is to find an employee to direct me to a product i need . If an employee is not around i'll ask a fellow shopper. I can't tell you how many times that lead into small talk even a conversation. Just remember a friendly face can get you everywhere . You won't meet anyone by looking away from them which you pretty much found out on your own . From looking at your gallery you are worth checking out . You have to make yourself approachable. Most of the time the person you approach are likely to have some of the thoughts in there mind too .

 

[sangheili90]

The first thing i do when walking into a grocery store is to find an employee to direct me to a product i need . If an employee is not around i'll ask a fellow shopper. I can't tell you how many times that lead into small talk even a conversation. Just remember a friendly face can get you everywhere . You won't meet anyone by looking away from them which you pretty much found out on your own . From looking at your gallery you are worth checking out . You have to make yourself approachable. Most of the time the person you approach are likely to have some of the thoughts in there mind too .

But I know where the items are that I buy lol. I get what you are saying though, just strike up a conversation about something that is relevant to the surrounding environment and go from there.

 

[Galloper]

Even though you know where those items are, ask to somebody as a pilot test. Might help you to encourage yourself next time you see a woman you find atractive.

 

[sangheili90]

Even though you know where those items are, ask to somebody as a pilot test. Might help you to encourage yourself next time you see a woman you find atractive.

It's going to feel really awkward for me to ask a question about something which I already know the answer to.

 

[rayray]

It's going to feel really awkward for me to ask a question about something which I already know the answer to.

Come on now . You are between a rock and a hard place here . Just try to take some of the advice here . It requires very little people skills . If they could read your mind they'd know your interested hence no small talk . PM mw if you want to talk . I used to have the same problem. I understand your pain .

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I, for one, go for shy men. I sensed my husband was shy upon meeting him and used my outgoing personality to reel him in and ask him out. Opposites attract. So when you say a woman would never approach you, don't bet the farm on it. Smile even if you can't say anything. My husband was smiling and having a good time when I first saw him. That smile is what drew me in. Had he looked bored in the corner I would have probably never said a word to him.