Thanks man. Yeah, I haven't read the whole thread, but I get the sense OP might be dealing with some other issues, the fact that he says he's not looking to make new friends is a tip off.
I've dealt with low self esteem, social anxiety, hiding in my house from the world, size issues, body image issues, obsessing over finding a girlfriend but not knowing where to start, trouble making new friends, falling into the same unfulfilling routine, substance abuse issues, severe depression, regret, etc, etc. And it is all just a cycle that feeds itself, and results in your life remaining stagnant.
And you don't want 5 years to pass by and you look at your life and say "What the fuck have I even been doing?" That feeling like life is slipping through your fingers and when you finally have that "Aha moment", you can't get that time back, and that's difficult to live with.
(This isn't directed at the OP, just anybody in general who may be reading and relates)
That's why I say it's all connected. If you're gonna be disconnected and be like "Fuck the world, I don't need friends, I don't like people." Then you're gonna have to accept that you probably won't find a quality partner or attract any cute girls. You've gotta work on yourself and your personal life first, if you want those things.
That's why a lot of Pickup Artistry is bullshit, it basically tells Guys to be a con man, to sell girls a POS clunker and try to convince them it's a Corvette. You can't just show up at the club with a name like Mastadon, wearing a Cat In The Hat hat on and goggles and a big furry scarf, talking about "Do you brush or floss your teeth first?", establishing physical contact with a magic trick, "negging" women to lower their value, and demonstrating false value (like I said, I remember a bit from the VH1 show). Unless you have genuine confidence, they're gonna see through that shit.
I'm not bragging or anything, but I've been with quality girls that I've had to work for, and jackasses that were just an easy lay because they wanted something from me. And they got freaky, and it was kinda hot, but man, those quality girls, when it really meant something, and my heart was beating a mile a minute, thinking "I can't believe this is happening", when the entire world is busting at its' seams, and you're feeling like you must have done something right in a past life, THAT'S when it really matters. That's what I'm looking for again. I couldn't care less about some bar hookup, or pulling some chick because she thinks I am an alpha, or whatever.
I do think, as a general rule, chicks are attracted to a guy who shows confidence and leadership qualities, but don't mistake that for being a jerk
Here's the thing. It's really hard to just say something that's gonna change somebody's perceptions. And perception is reality. Take Wally on this site for example. He's got it engraved in his mind that "Aw shucks, small dicks are so inferior. Girls just want a big, swinging dick. Good jobs are just looking for a hung alpha male stud!" That's the narrative he wants to believe because it gives him the perfect excuse to just watch life from the sidelines and settle for bad relationships, if any relationships at all. Because he's tricked his mind into thinking that's what he deserves.
I haven't read enough of Mr Thick's posts, but he seems to really wanna push this narrative of alphas and betas and cuckolds, etc. for whatever reason, and it makes me wonder what kinds of women he's been associating with. I'm not sure if he's upset because he wants to be this idea he has of an alpha, or he thinks he is an alpha so this narrative makes him feel more masculine or what.
I live in the real world, and I know tons of "alphas", and by that I mean men who others respect, who demonstrate leadership qualities, who exert some control over their own life to achieve the goals they want in life. I know one guy who is average looking, I know for a fact is average below the belt, doesn't make tons of money (he's a nurse at a psyche ward) but he is so confident and knows how to talk to people and has plowed some of the hottest chicks, even two hot twins one time, and married this gorgeous girl and just had their second child. I know others who are all shapes and sizes and appearances who have carved themselves out a nice little niche in life and are currently happy, content, dating, married, have families. None of them subscribe to any bullshit about being an alpha, an asshole, proving their masculinity, lowering women's values, any of that. They are genuine, good people, who are confident in who they are, confident in their area of work, have hobbies that they enjoy, are good dads, etc.
There are many, many exceptions, but I do agree that people generally date others somewhere within their same level of attractiveness. I do think that women are generally attracted to guys who show confidence and leadership qualities and some kind of masculine traits like hunting, fishing, fixing things, strength, standing up for themselves, wealth, etc. (Big penis is at the very bottom of the list, if it's even on there, once you get away from the high school, college, Spring Break "Wooo!" Girls). But there are so many exceptions to this rule that it can be overcome, because everybody is unique, even if there are general rules of thumb. In general, girls are looking for traits of guys who show qualities of being a good boyfriend, husband, father, so those kinds of things are ingrained in what society expects from men in those roles.
But I can probably come up with some good advice, as can many others on here I'm sure, for attracting a girl during those early stages, from approaching, to the first date. I've learned a thing or two about making a girl want to keep talking or talk to you again, maybe even getting her a little sexually intrigued or turned on. Just a couple weeks back, I stopped this girl with a genuine question after a class, haven't spoke to her all semester, the question should have taken a minute to answer, but within a few minutes had her opening up, standing outside the building for like 20 minutes, dropping her notebook, laughing, talking about herself, etc. Finally, we had to walk off because we were going separate directions, but I could tell she really enjoyed the conversation and wanted it to keep going. And I didn't "neg" her or any of that shit. On the contrary, I made her feel good about herself by showing a genuine impressed interest in what she is doing. Ten years ago, I would not have even spoke up to her, I'd have just found some unassuming, unintimidating guy in the class to ask my question
That's one advantage of being so introverted for so long, it makes you observe other people's behavior, little details, learn what makes girls tick, what generally works, what doesn't. I'm not saying that PUA stuff doesn't work, just that a lot of the kinda guys who would be reading up on that probably don't have the confidence or ability to convincingly pull it off, and you might be better off with a different approach, even if it doesn't work all the time. I'm looking for a sexy, shy, quiet girl who is intelligent, likes to read, likes mental stimulation and interesting conversation, and maybe has a bit of a freak side when you get her going. And I'm at the point in life I've decided I'm just not settling for anything less
