Issues with approaching young women

[Tattooed Goddess]

Your mass soliciting of women sends a message of desperation. They sniffed you out. When a guy is too vague about compliments he sounds not very genuine. When a guy gets too specific about compliments he can come off stalkerish, thus also driving a woman away.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

That whole negging concept of pick up Artistry only works on basic bitches. If you want a basic bitch, be a basic bro. You'll have little basic children one day. The world will be full of your ilk.

 

[The Meat Rod Cometh]

Loll I just really have to say something here, I'm newly single, nice looking guy, 42 years old. And I just started back dating. I could just relate what I experimented in the last 6 months.

Now, It's doesn't reflect every women's, but there's some attitude that you need to grasp that women doesn't really see herself.

First, I started to be very nice to women... be honest, apply myself to write some nice text, note what I noticed about her, be respectful.

Well everything that you would expect of a gentle men. On dating site, it just doesn't work... I wrote like 4 nice letter a day, to 4 different women, and not just a "hi" a full paragraph that show my interest, I received like 1 reply out of 50, they simply don't reply.

Didn't work out, women are just too solicited.

Now, everybody told me to just stop looking and everything will come at the right time. Well It's true in a sense.

What I find out, mostly, is that women are so accustom to receive compliments, that they don't give a shit when your honest to her. They find it appealing when the guy just ignore her, or tell her that you don't give a shit.

The secret is to be yourself, don't waste energy on women, treat them like follow human, if a women interest you, talk to her like if she was your bud, and don't give a minute more. So that she understand that you exist, but show her that you have too much fun without her.

Make her feel that she is not needed, but be direct, leave no choice. "I'm leaving... your coming?".

Women are really complicated, they want respect, but only after they have been ignored.
They want nice guy's but only after been trash talked.

In dating site, I only receive response, when I use, no compliment, direct, with a nice face picture. I know, it's stupid, but women just don't care about compliments.

anyway, it's my two cents.

Thanks for that first hand insight. Another one of countless examples so many men have faced. All the more reason men and women should study relationship science in depth. As just like anything else in life it is an art and a science at the same time.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Thanks for that first hand insight. Another one of countless examples so many men have faced. All the more reason men and women should study relationship science in depth. As just like anything else in life it is an art and a science at the same time.

I've studied this subject for years. Plus taking my own experiences and that of my husband's when it comes to his experience dating women, and we must be studying different books. Your relationship advice is such bullshit. It's so old school Dr. Phil.

And I love how a nutty guy with backwards thinking agrees with you and you pat yourself on the back.

So far your supporters can't even be taken seriously.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

. Another one of countless examples so many men have faced. .

The problem I have is, the OP doesn't acknowledge the hardships Women face. He thinks we all just get what we want if we just flutter our eyes or some shit. Until these frustrated guys can SEE that, and look at sex and relationships as something that involves the feelings and concerns of Both parties, they won't be getting fucked.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

I'd like to analyze these heart felt letters he sent to those 4 women in one day.

Because women rarely respond, so many guys copy and paste a pretty written canned message to multiple women.

I get some word for word copied and pasted messages from guys who forget they already sent me that message before. I get embarrassed for them and I feel bad for the women who believe they are the first to receive it.

 

[The Meat Rod Cometh]

The problem I have is, the OP doesn't acknowledge the hardships Women face. He thinks we all just get what we want if we just flutter our eyes or some shit. Until these frustrated guys can SEE that, and look at sex and relationships as something that involves the feelings and concerns of Both parties, they won't be getting fucked.

Perhaps you have a thread expressing these things more in depth.
As it seems our OP here has made his decisions on what he wants to do and is no longer seeking advice at this time.
It would probably at this point be best to carry on this line of thought elsewhere on site.
I feel a thread clarifying the differences between genuine self-empowered attractiveness vs. just manipulative pickup artistry would be in order.

 

[deleted936015]

Can one of these pick up artists pick me up a bottle of appleton estate reserve blend???
Thatd be about the most helpful thing they could do....

 

[The Meat Rod Cometh]

Can one of these pick up artists pick me up a bottle of appleton estate reserve blend???
Thatd be about the most helpful thing they could do....

Better yet. I'll get you some fine quality H20. Wouldn't want you to miss anything.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Perhaps you have a thread expressing these things more in depth.
As it seems our OP here has made his decisions on what he wants to do and is no longer seeking advice at this time.
It would probably at this point be best to carry on this line of thought elsewhere on site.
I feel a thread clarifying the differences between genuine self-empowered attractiveness vs. just manipulative pickup artistry would be in order.

I'm not the one that bumped this thread... but I agree

 

[The Meat Rod Cometh]

I'm not the one that bumped this thread... but I agree

Bumper Boy here says we roll out.

 

[sizehungry]

Having had similar difficulties myself , i can understand your position very well . As I frequently find on this site , advice from our female members generally makes sense . For me , communication and interaction with women in day to day matters is invariably a happy and uplifting experience , but , if I'm looking at something of a personal nature , the tendency is to put it in the " too hard " basket . I do think that this is almost certainly driven by fear of rejection in my case , something I'm slowly getting over at long last . A few things I am certain of , be yourself , do not be an asshole , take a good look at the advice on this site , as it can be informative/educational , and show her respect , she is a person with feelings , not just an object to fuck . You sound like a good fellow , the very best of luck to you .

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Bumper Boy here says we roll out.

You know how... go for it.

 

[sangheili90]

Having had similar difficulties myself , i can understand your position very well . As I frequently find on this site , advice from our female members generally makes sense . For me , communication and interaction with women in day to day matters is invariably a happy and uplifting experience , but , if I'm looking at something of a personal nature , the tendency is to put it in the " too hard " basket . I do think that this is almost certainly driven by fear of rejection in my case , something I'm slowly getting over at long last . A few things I am certain of , be yourself , do not be an asshole , take a good look at the advice on this site , as it can be informative/educational , and show her respect , she is a person with feelings , not just an object to fuck . You sound like a good fellow , the very best of luck to you .

This is an older thread of mine and I've had some progress over the past 6 months and learned a lot. I will say this, being nice to some women is a sign of weakness and something they will exploit if they think they can, which is what I think happened to me with one girl I was dating in April. Attention from men validates a woman's attractiveness, if she is insecure and/or has issues it is easy to see why she'd string guys along in order to get this. The girl I was dating spread her legs very early on but didn't show an ounce of intimacy towards me, this was her means of acquiring not only attention but material type things as well (dinner, movies, etc.).

 

[rtg]

Well everything that you would expect of a gentle men. On dating site, it just doesn't work... I wrote like 4 nice letter a day, to 4 different women, and not just a "hi" a full paragraph that show my interest, I received like 1 reply out of 50, they simply don't reply.

Didn't work out, women are just too solicited.

No, they clearly just weren't interested in you. When I was internet dating if I got 50 guys messaging me in day I would always write back to the ones I was interested in. Who I would not write back to: men to appeared to try too hard, who seemed to desperate and who went too far in complimenting me it just seemed fake and men who acted like they knew me just from reading my profile. You seem like one of those dudes. Other men I would not reply to included: players, guys with the "couples who train together stay together mentality", guys without jobs, guys with kids, divorced men, newly single men, entitled men, women haters, those who I just wasn't physically attracted to, and the list goes on.

See... sometimes the problem isn't women; it's you.

I also would get a number of men who didn't respond to me. But I took it as "he's not just interested", rather than playing the blame guy. Because I'm an adult.

What I find out, mostly, is that women are so accustom to receive compliments, that they don't give a shit when your honest to her.

This is based on your 6 month internet dating experience? Or just the fact that you are having difficulties getting back on the horse? Or both?

I rarely receive compliments. Because Im generally not in situations where they are necessary or appropriate. I also value honestly immensely. And I'd rather someone be honest with me than bullshit me with fakery.

They find it appealing when the guy just ignore her, or tell her that you don't give a shit.

The secret is to be yourself, don't waste energy on women, treat them like follow human, if a women interest you, talk to her like if she was your bud, and don't give a minute more. So that she understand that you exist, but show her that you have too much fun without her.

Make her feel that she is not needed, but be direct, leave no choice. "I'm leaving... your coming?".

Women are really complicated, they want respect, but only after they have been ignored.
They want nice guy's but only after been trash talked.

In dating site, I only receive response, when I use, no compliment, direct, with a nice face picture. I know, it's stupid, but women just don't care about compliments.

anyway, it's my two cents.

The whole "treat me mean, keep em keen" is for players and shallow people (both men and female"). If a guy ignores me or is a jerk to me I'm not going to keep talking to him until he seems to respect me. Or until he decides I'm worth the time of day. He can get fucked if he wants to play those games.

You probably come across as creepy, trying too hard, not genuine and clingy to these women. You do to me based on the one post I've read of yours.

Your two cents are worthless and full of so many pathetic generalisations. God forbid you meet a strong woman like so many of us on here...

 

[Lee_M]

A young woman's value in the dating market is almost entirely based upon her looks and physical attractiveness. She could be a high school drop out with no job, hobbies or interest but if she was cute she'd have a lot of guys interested in her. The only exception to this would be if she had some behavior issues, and even then a lot of guys would put up with it. Attractive women have plenty of options, she could literally just sit at a bar and have dozens of men approach her and because of this she has her pick.

A man cannot go simply based upon his looks alone, he needs to have other things in his life squared away to be seen as a relationship material. A guy could be very attractive, but if he is slightly awkward, lacks education, has no money, a dead end job his value diminishes.

As you say, women only need to be attractive to be in the game right, but a guy needs to socially comfortable, educated, have money, a job and good values?

Lets flip the coin, so this means women generally have ONE thing to reply to in order to be approached, but men approx 5 that they can reply on. So what happens if she isn't overly attractive or is only average, but the guy possess 4 of the 5 traits mentioned .. Doesn't that mean SHE is worse off than the guy?

 

[rtg]

[

As you say, women only need to be attractive to be in the game right, but a guy needs to socially comfortable, educated, have money, a job and good values?

Lets flip the coin, so this means women generally have ONE thing to reply to in order to be approached, but men approx 5 that they can reply on. So what happens if she isn't overly attractive or is only average, but the guy possess 4 of the 5 traits mentioned .. Doesn't that mean SHE is worse off than the guy?

This is yet one of the many ridiculous and sexist statements he's made. And according to him, if a guy possesses all of those traits and can't get a woman... then it's the woman's fault because she's just shallow and / or a gold digger

No matter how much we tell him, he's never going to understand that if a woman thinks you have a dud personality then she won't be interested, or will lose interest quickly. That is why he can't keep a woman interested.

 

[Lee_M]

This is a really old thread but you are right though, a lot of guys have to go through trial and error to figure out what works and what doesn't when it comes to "gaming" women. Naturally no woman will comprehend this because it isn't something they ever have to work on, thus the reason why you are getting flak on here.

Personally, I've learned over time that young women of today's times in western society are impossible to please and are looking for the tiniest excuses to reject a guy. My philosophy right now is very simple, work on becoming the total package and have everything going for me, which I pretty much do. Is it a lonely path, yes, but at least I don't have to lower my standards and stoop down to something beneath me until something decent actually comes along.

As you say this is a really old thread, and looking at the date of this post disappoints me because it appears you have learnt nothing about women since originally creating the thread

Grow up and get over the "Poor guys" and "Women are evil" complexes, and whilst your at it stop being patronizing.
If you are picking shitty women to approach and sleep with, that is your issue, not OURS!

 

[someperson]

This is an older thread of mine and I've had some progress over the past 6 months and learned a lot. I will say this, being nice to some women is a sign of weakness and something they will exploit if they think they can, which is what I think happened to me with one girl I was dating in April. Attention from men validates a woman's attractiveness, if she is insecure and/or has issues it is easy to see why she'd string guys along in order to get this. The girl I was dating spread her legs very early on but didn't show an ounce of intimacy towards me, this was her means of acquiring not only attention but material type things as well (dinner, movies, etc.).

maybe she was a hooker that is why...

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

This is an older thread of mine and I've had some progress over the past 6 months and learned a lot. I will say this, being nice to some women is a sign of weakness and something they will exploit if they think they can, which is what I think happened to me with one girl I was dating in April. Attention from men validates a woman's attractiveness, if she is insecure and/or has issues it is easy to see why she'd string guys along in order to get this. The girl I was dating spread her legs very early on but didn't show an ounce of intimacy towards me, this was her means of acquiring not only attention but material type things as well (dinner, movies, etc.).

And now you're going to apply this newfound knowledge of exactly ONE woman (who was what? 19?) to every woman you meet. Good luck with that.