Issues with cheating.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Stony_Scrotalump, Mar 22, 2010.

  1. D_Stony_Scrotalump

    D_Stony_Scrotalump New Member

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    Hey guys how are you doing. I'm kind of new here, sorta. But I had a random question for you guys and was wondering how you felt.

    I'm 19 years old and am a virgin. No doubt about it I'm a guy and love woman. Thing about this situation is I've always wanted to lose my virginity and have had chances to do so, but I don't feel like I'm the type of guy that goes up to any girl and fucks them for no reason or because I'm "horny". I sometimes feel disgusted about even being with someone because I don't want to get my feelings broken for I am a very emotional guy and being cheated on would suck big time.

    Just wanted to ask, do you guys ever feel like sex is really the main focus in relationships these days? Does sex really make or break a relationship? Does this make your partner want to cheat on you if they're not fully satisfied?
     
  2. treetruck

    treetruck New Member

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    sex has very little to do with a relationship and every thing at the same time, I've been with my partner for 26 years now, we dont have a lot of sex now but I love him more now. always do what right for you!
     
  3. ManlyBanisters

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    I think you are over-thinking the issue.

    You seem more interested in a relationship with someone special. Concentrate on that and the sex will work out. I wish I could tell you you will never get cheated on, maybe you will never get cheated on, I hope you don't - but no one can promise you that. When you have a special someone do your best to be honest with both her and yourself about everything, not just sex. That's the key to a healthy relationship, in my book anyway.
     
  4. lopo2000

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    Man, sex is not everything, although it's an important thing in a relationship. It doesn't matter you're good or not, for me, it just matters that you want to learn and improve time after time and are open to options. I have seen relationships that are 'sexless' and the spouses are very cold and distant to each other. I believe this is because sex is a way of communication between two lovers. Without sex, you can't really figure out the way to convey how you feel towards each others.
     
  5. helgaleena

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    The best way to play this is the way you are doing it-- make sure to have sex only with the persons you really like and could love. Sex is much too wonderful to waste on people you do not love. It is a gift of your most intimate self.

    Not everyone is able to love large numbers of their fellow humans sincerely, like a Casanova. Not everyone is extroverted enough! Just remember that your love is a good guide to where to have your sex, and follow your heart however it may function.
     
  6. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy New Member

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    Sex is not the main aspect of a long-term primary relationship.

    Sex is the main aspect of a fuck-buddy relationship.
     
  7. D_Stony_Scrotalump

    D_Stony_Scrotalump New Member

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    so it just depends on where you heart is? Thank you guys for giving me your advice on this issue. And to manly-banisters, I think I might have been over thinking the issue. I don't want my life to mean nothing in the end. I feel like if I don't think fast or make a mistake, I will fall deeply and never get a chance to pick myself up. I'm glad to know you guys respect the love situation and that it is real in some sense. It just depends on the person. Love you guys!
     
  8. need2bsexy2

    need2bsexy2 Active Member

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    You are too young to cheat. You first must understand your emotions, WHO creates those positive emotions, and concentrate on them.

    Sure, I started dating my wife when I was 15. She asked me out for the first date but I was hooked after that. We got married in college and went from there, poor as mice. Both of us had this concept or perception that it was us against
    "them" (everybody else in the world). We have worked as a team since we met. I worked and she stayed at home with the kids. That is what our parents did and that is what we did. In a relationship both persons need a role, a task to be completed every day. It is a job but it has the most wonderful rewards.

    Now, for all of the wonderful benefits I have had from building a family and having the extended family gathering around us for holidays...Yes, I have cheated.

    I have cheated repeatedly but only after having my kids graduate from college. That was my number one goal but my number four goal was to sample what was out there to see if I had missed something.

    Yes, it was a mid-life crises. I bought the exotic sports car, I fired everybody I employed and I went to my house to work by myself. It was a bad fit because my wife and I were with each other 24/7. I took many business trips. We had a wonderful time when 24 people came over for the holidays but there was a longing in my loins for something else.

    So, even though I had everything to live for and everything to lose, I ventured out to see what was there. It was astounding to see all of that pussy ready to fuck. I guess I was just too focused on the family to see it.

    So part of my mid-life crises was to cheat and sample the buffet. I met many differnet women, 12 others to be exact, and the memory of each one I cherish. They were all different and I treasure that I was able to pleasure them all except for one.

    I guess the bottom line is: Build something first and then see if you want to cheat on it. I had many things to accomplish in my life before I ever took the risk. I took care of my kids and I made sure I could take care of my wife. That was my job and I did it. After that I felt free to sample some things and came to discover that I had the very best things in life.

    Cheat? NEVER AGAIN.
     
  9. Darkriff

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    As a formally married man, (well technically I still am, divorce isn't final yet) sex is by far not the thing that makes or breaks a relationship unless she's a shallow bitch. In that case you were better off anyway.

    Sex can make things worse tho. Ever hear that it's the little things that count? Ever hear that it's the little things that count? That's true for the most part. If you're having problems in a relationship then the little things only make the situation worse and help back up that person's reason for wanting to get out. In short, if you're having problems in your relationship, then a lack of interest in the bedroom may not be enough to call it quits, but it can definately supply some ammunition, when things suck, they tend to suck alot more when the little things start piling up.
     
  10. cbrmale

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    As a man married for almost 24 years, I too vouch that sex is not the main part of a long-term loving relationship, but it is one of many ingredients. Compatibility, shared values, getting on well together and so on are very important. Having good sex on top of those things moves a relationship to greatness. Although good sex or lots of sex doesn't make a good relationship, bad sex or no sex can, and often does, break a relationship.

    As to your first point, I think you're trying to over analyse love and sex. The best and most memorable sex I have ever had in my life was with one-time lovers, who wanted nothing more than to have fantastic sex with me.

    Yes, women get horny, women enjoy pleasure, and women do enjoy good sex. You don't need to be in love, you don't need to be in a relationship, you don't need any of those things to have a good sexy time with someone. Until someone experiences casual sex, they just don't know, so don't condemn what you don't know and don't understand.
     
  11. Skull Mason

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    just cheat on her first and don't tell her, then even if she does end up cheating on you you already beat her to it ;)
     
  12. BS76

    BS76 Active Member

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    No, sex isn't the main focus. Yes, sex can make or break a relationship. Comes down to being sexually compatible. If you're not then it's just as much of a disqualifier as not being a good match in any other way.
     
  13. sexplease

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    one very important thing: it (in this case sex) is NOT cheating if your monogamy needs (and beliefs) are NOT discussed. That would be your bad.
    If you assume monogamy of someone and they go off and pork around, that's what's working for them. So. But it's your choice to open your mouth and discuss what you want and need.

    everything else is so much more interesting to learn on your own and with another in a relationship.
    You'll probably have a few (trial relationships they're called) until you find who and what works for you.

    Wear a glove for sex, talk, LISTEN, and have fun in your youth!
     
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