Had some sex issues in my past relationship, basically didn't have sex for over a year; just watched porn, jerked off a lot, and during that period my penis was working perfectly fine. The thing is now I entered a relationship, I cannot get hard when the guy wants me to fuck him. He is extremely sexy and hot, but when he gets in all fours even if during foreplay I'm hard as a rock, whenever it's time to do the actual deed it becomes limb and cannot make it get hard again. Anyone who had a similar experience and managed to solve it?
Issues with real sex - losing the erection
- Thread starter nsownu
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Its a classic case of psychologically based erectile dysfunction. You're anxious about performing which makes you unable to become erect which makes you more anxious, forming a nasty feedback loop. I recommend talking with your partner about the situation so that you feel safer. Some other tips that can help are abstaining for a bit and incorporating more foreplay and edging. If all else fails you can talk with a therapist or a doctor for advice and treatment if necessary.
Hang in there man. People dont go into relationships and get naked with each other if they dont desire each other. He wants you. You dont need to feel anxious about performing.
Hang in there man. People dont go into relationships and get naked with each other if they dont desire each other. He wants you. You dont need to feel anxious about performing.
Thanks man, really appreciate your kind words.
Same thing happened to me. We werent together long so never got around to a fix. But yea, think it was psychological. Had success one time after a little alcohol (take edge off nerves).
Same here, psychological erectile dysfunction. I talked to a therapist about it and he advised similar to what MeatStickSupreme suggests above about having a discussion. My therapist also advised addressing other things in my personal life that might be causing insecurities. In my case, a messy house. I didn't get an opportunity to sort all this out as there were other issues pertaining to this individual but I would be interested in knowing what happens with you.
The other replies are spot-on - same thing happened to me when I first had sex in my 20s. Even when jerking off alone, if I get anxious or too focused on being hard, it's detrimental. Relaxation helps an erection - so paradoxically, if you relax as if you're letting yourself go soft, it has the opposite effect!
