Issues with Wife in bedroom?

[Attila the Hung]

Well then, disregard my advice as clearly the whiskey was doing the talking for me that night when I wrote my post. Good to hear things are looking up for the two of you, hopefully It`ll stay that way. On a seperate note I am surprised to hear from some of the female posters that dryness can be an issue quite often even when aroused, with my girl it is never an issue unless we get right down to it without any foreplay, and even then within a few minutes of gentle thrusting my gf is soaking wet and I am slipping and sliding all over the place, if anything she gets too wet when really aroused which unfortunately doesn`t create much friction.

 

[kinda_hung]

Well then, disregard my advice as clearly the whiskey was doing the talking for me that night when I wrote my post. Good to hear things are looking up for the two of you, hopefully It`ll stay that way. On a seperate note I am surprised to hear from some of the female posters that dryness can be an issue quite often even when aroused, with my girl it is never an issue unless we get right down to it without any foreplay, and even then within a few minutes of gentle thrusting my gf is soaking wet and I am slipping and sliding all over the place, if anything she gets too wet when really aroused which unfortunately doesn`t create much friction.

Yeah. My wife was really, really wet sunday night. Almost too wet and not a lot of friction either. Sometimes when she's like that and I'm not totally horny, I can fuck her for a long time before cumming. But the other night it was so hot I came a few minutes after she had. With all the sploshing noise coming from her pussy, it pushed me over the edge. :redface:

 

[kinda_hung]

Well. Sex was great Sat, Sun, and Wed. But wed. night she complained that her labia minor where VERY sensitive.. They were pretty swollen. She has pretty big labia that are great, but they were deffinetely more swollen and bigger than normal. So she really didn't want me playing with them much at all. We had sex and it was great anyways wed. night. Now thurs and today she still has very swollen labias that are sore and she said the area between her urethra and vagina is swollen and sore! The dr. gave her something for yeast infection. So I guess we will see what happens now.

I thought maybe her labias were just swollen and excited for sex and the reason for them being sensitive. But I guess not! :frown1:

 

[Olivia]

Wow. I cannot believe most men say just get used to it. My husband and I have been married for 10 years now. We rarely have sex. Maybe twice a month and believe me it's not because I don't won't to. He doesn't.

He is about 10 years older than me, plus works all the time but so do I. We both work rotating shifts and it's tough but I do want sex more often.

We did it the other night. At first I was upset & angry at him because when we were getting started, he had to start talking about something that upset me. I asked him why does he do that. He apologized but I thought I was out of the mood. Then he started touching me, begging me to sit up so he can look/play with my breasts. He knows I have issues with my breasts because they are quite big and sometimes I feel like a freak, but he loves them. He started sucking on them etc. and I quickly got back in the mood.

I don't understand why some women are not interested in trying new things. I always am. I am still trying for anal sex but have never gone all the way because it hurts too much, but it's fun trying.

Right now I'm looking for some good graphic sex books that will teach us something new to try. I think it will be a lot if fun trying out some of those positions.

 

[beachbum1971]

Started to write this and then read the last few posts. Glad thing have improved! For anyone else with the same issues, here are a few friendly words of advice:

Women need to feel sexy to be in the mood. If she is working a lot, mothering 3 kids, and has no time for herself, or makes no time for herself, then she most likely will not be in the mood. If she takes 2 nights a week to go to the gym, or does something for herself that boosts her self esteem, that's when her brain can get back to the bedroom. All work and no play is what it sounds like.

I started poledancing at a gym for fun, and it's a great ego boost. Not a second career, but it really help me regain confidence and feel sexy. Plus, it's an incredible workout and great stress relief!
Best of luck!

 

[D_Rosalind Mussell]

I'm so glad things turned around! Couple will go through these what I call "dry spells" and eventually things come back around. Maybe the break in routine helped you both turn it around. I hope this helps bring you closer together.

 

[kinda_hung]

This yeast inf. is really sucking though! I'm going crazy without pussy!

 

[helgaleena]

She needs to add yogurt to her diet. And you need to find other ways to have sex besides putting in that particular slot. Be inventive.

 

[B_crackoff]

She needs to add yogurt to her diet. And you need to find other ways to have sex besides putting in that particular slot. Be inventive.

Bloody Hell HG, I'm beginning to think you are Yoda!

 

[kinda_hung]

She needs to add yogurt to her diet. And you need to find other ways to have sex besides putting in that particular slot. Be inventive.

She does eat a lot of yogurt and she promised me a BJ for tonight! I doubt it will last more than 5 min. though. Then she will start complaining her jaw hurts...

 

[D_Edwin Eatser]

Kinda hung, my ex wife was just like that so I went looking elsewhere and eventually got a young mistress. Everyone is entitled to good sex, it doesn't have to be commitment, just pleasure.

 

[B_subgirrl]

Kinda hung, my ex wife was just like that so I went looking elsewhere and eventually got a young mistress. Everyone is entitled to good sex, it doesn't have to be commitment, just pleasure.

Everyone is NOT 'entitled' to good sex. What a heap of crap!

 

[meadow7]

When you only have sex with your wife 4x per year and you are not only willing, ready, and able, but also well-endowed? It's kind of frustrating. I am happy with my family life, but need more physical satisfaction.

 

[petite]

When you only have sex with your wife 4x per year and you are not only willing, ready, and able, but also well-endowed? It's kind of frustrating. I am happy with my family life, but need more physical satisfaction.

Aw, I feel for you! I'd be frustrated, too. It's great that you're happy with your family life. Have you tried visiting a sex therapist together with your wife?

 

[L_Lynn]

She does eat a lot of yogurt and she promised me a BJ for tonight! I doubt it will last more than 5 min. though. Then she will start complaining her jaw hurts...

If her jaw hurts then she should alternate between sucking you and just licking the head while she strokes you, then back to a few thrusts in the mouth, then stroking again. Key is a lot of lubrication. It may take longer to get you off, but blowing a huge cock can be hard on the jaws. You can let her know that you love when she gives you head, but you don't want her to be in pain so just having her mouth on you, her tongue licking you while she strokes your cock is pleasurable too.

As to the more recent comments on here... I have mixed feelings. I don't advocate cheating but damn if I don't understand women who don't WANT to be turned on. I cringe whenever I hear a girlfriend talk about withholding sex because she was mad over a fight they had due to his not doing the dishes which he stopped doing because she always complained about how he did them. I see too many women who create drama, who won't fuck their husbands, who practically push men into affairs and then berate them for cheating. And it pisses me off whenever anyone lives down to a stereotype.

Then again, there are a lot of asshole men out there who treat their wives like crap or who screw around even though they have a fine sex life with a loving wife at home. So I guess I can't just call it an absolute wrong every time any person strays outside their marriage.

 

[petite]

As to the more recent comments on here... I have mixed feelings. I don't advocate cheating but damn if I don't understand women who don't WANT to be turned on. I cringe whenever I hear a girlfriend talk about withholding sex because she was mad over a fight they had due to his not doing the dishes which he stopped doing because she always complained about how he did them. I see too many women who create drama, who won't fuck their husbands, who practically push men into affairs and then berate them for cheating. And it pisses me off whenever anyone lives down to a stereotype.

Then again, there are a lot of asshole men out there who treat their wives like crap or who screw around even though they have a fine sex life with a loving wife at home. So I guess I can't just call it an absolute wrong every time any person strays outside their marriage.

If a guy just decided to give up on his wife and have an affair, that's really low to me. He's a man of very bad character, and selfish, and a coward.

He should see a marriage counselor or a sex therapist with his wife to get at the root of whatever the problems are and fix them if he loves her. If he doesn't love her, he needs to end the marriage and move on.

Within the context of therapy, they can address why sex stopped, whether she has any health issues that have affected her sex drive, the things that are preventing them from becoming intimate, and ways in which they can re-establish intimacy. And if none of those things work, then within the safety of that environment, they can explore HONESTLY whether it's an option that the husband have his sexual needs met outside the marriage and under what sort of conditions.

There are some people who get off on the excitement of deception and keeping a secret, and that's just terrible, taking that sort of pleasure in something that would hurt another person so deeply. That's phenomenally selfish. It's just wrong.

 

[Drifterwood]

If a guy just decided to give up on his wife and have an affair, that's really low to me. He's a man of very bad character, and selfish, and a coward.

I find this simplistic, naive and inappropriately judgmental.

One of my best friends has been married over twenty five years. She has a good strong sex drive, but her husband lost interest fifteen years ago. She recently told me that she had had seventeen lovers in that time. She needs sex in her life.

He suspects and probably knows that things have happened, but he is big enough to understand the reality of the disparity in their needs. They don't allow sex issues to derail their otherwise very happy and dedicated marriage.

 

[petite]

I find this simplistic, naive and inappropriately judgmental.

One of my best friends has been married over twenty five years. She has a good strong sex drive, but her husband lost interest fifteen years ago. She recently told me that she had had seventeen lovers in that time. She needs sex in her life.

He suspects and probably knows that things have happened, but he is big enough to understand the reality of the disparity in their needs. They don't allow sex issues to derail their otherwise very happy and dedicated marriage.

You are correct. I don't respect cheaters. I've never cheated on anyone and I never will.

I need sex in my life. Most people need sex in their lives. That's why you should see a counselor about the problem to find a solution if you love your partner and you care about the marriage. That's not simplistic or naive. I expect that if you love someone, you should be honest with that person and work to solve the problem with your partner, and then if you can't get it from your partner, you need to talk to them about finding that outside your marriage with honesty, instead of with deception. A lot of couples turn to polyamory and they do it honestly instead of deceiving each other. See a sex therapist!

 

[ManlyBanisters]

Sorry pet, I'm with Drifter. You have a very monocular view of the situation. Not everyone operates like you and relationships are complicated things. It is the acceptable society view that 'cheating' is a bad thing and unacceptable regardless of circumstances, but that just isn't the case. It may be unacceptable to you, and you have probably let theboyfriend know that - but that does not mean another relationship, as per the one Drifter describes, can't be perfectly healthy and happy with (so-called) cheating as a part of it.

We all make compromises in life, as we get older especially - for some turning a blind eye on a cheating spouse is an acceptable compromise. For others it is not. Not everyone is like you and, lovely as you are, it would be a very boring world if they were.

 

[petite]

MB, are you saying that you think that Drifter's friend's husband is happier with her cheating on him than he would be if they were openly polyamorous? A sort of unspoken but understood, "I just don't want to know, just let me pretend it's not happening" sort of situation? How would you really know that your spouse felt that way if you were always hiding your affairs?

I suppose there is probably someone who likes that, but is that really the case in the majority of these situations? Like the OP and most of the men who are complaining about their lack of marital sex in this thread?

It seems like the vast majority of those situations would be one cowardly spouse who just wants to excuse his/her own behavior by deceiving her/himself that his/her spouse is happier with "secret" affairs than the alternative, trying to rekindle a sexual spark or honestly including a new sexual partner for the unfulfilled spouse.

I know a lot of people who have been cheated on, and I've been cheated on before, too, and I've never heard the cuckolded person say, "I was glad he/she kept it a secret from me." I've never heard anyone say, "I knew but I didn't want to know, you know?" I'm not saying that doesn't happen, I'm sure that it does, but a lot of people are cheated on and the end result is usually an unbelievable amount of pain and regret. I've seen that pain, and I've wondered how anyone could inflict that pain on anyone that he/she is supposed to love. It's always been cruel to me, to the person who is hurt, that pain.