It isn't fair!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by BIGdkluver, May 16, 2007.

  1. BIGdkluver

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    This topic has probably been discussed here already, but I recently experienced it and so it's very current to me right now.

    Why are some people so shallow as to chose their friends based mainly on physical appearances only? In other words, people tend to gravitate toward others initially because those "others" are pretty (for girls) or handsome (for guys). That is just SO not fair and not right!

    I suspect that many gay and bi-men are the most guilty of this. The main thing they look for is physical--an attractive face, a good physique, and a big basket. What about the poor guy whose nose might be a little big? Or whose ears stick out? That guy might be intelligent, kind, articulate, have a great sense of humor, and possess many other fine inner virtues,
    but for many people, those things don't count. In a gay bar or at a gay party, if the guy doesn't look like David Boreanz or some other sexy, handsome movie star, then he's rejected instantly. I've even heard guys say rude things like, "Go play on the highway!"

    Many times I've seen a man sitting alone at the end of a bar, accompanied only by his drink. He may not be ugly--just not super good- looking or not have the best body or not be a 20's-something. Yet no one talks to him. He is isolated--off by himself just to sit and nurse his empty glass while everyone else around him is connecting, dancing, and having fun together.

    Yes, I know what you're probably thinking: "Man, this guy must be a troll himself!" Well, I'll be the first to admit that I'm not the best looking guy in the world. But I do know that I have value and merit as a human being.
    I cannot change my facial appearance or my age, but I would make a wonderful friend for anyone who appreciates niceness and pleasantness in a person.

    So I would hope that people of all sexual orientations would try to look beyond the physical attributes of a person and connect to the inner being, which is where the REAL person can be found.
     
  2. Charles Finn

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    I totally agree ppl make judgements based on looks or age.
     
  3. SpoiledPrincess

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    I think someone's looks can be a valid reason for initially approaching them, we're the product in the most part of our environment and how one looks influences how you're treated therefore forms a large part of one's personality. I like my friends both male and female to be attractive in mind and body, however if someone is gorgeous but thick they won't last past the first five minutes of conversation with me, but someone who's less attractive but with a good mind and sense of humour will.
     
  4. BIGCOCKsucker

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    No, you're quite right, it isn't fair, but as a good friend of mine always said, "Fair is just a shade of skin and hair!"

    Sadly and unfortunately, much of life operates on a purely superficial level. I first realized that when I was in my teens, back in the 70's. Over the last 30 years, we, as a culture, have become even more, much more, obsessed with the visual and the superficial and a person's worth is more than ever defined by their looks and whether they have six pack ab's, bulging biceps, and a big dick. And lord knows, gay men can be the biggest bitches of them all and just downright BRUTAL! For all too many people, beyond the obvious visual and physical appeal, having handsome, muscular, well-endowed friends and lovers, somehow, also validates their own worth.

    Personally, I got burned out on the club scene locally by the time I reached my late 20's. It became very predictable and plastic after a while. When I first came out of the closet at age 23 and was reveling in the club scene and my new found emancipation, an older and wiser friend told me, "This all seems wondeful to you now, but when you get to know these people better, you'll find that you don't like a lot of them very much!"

    Even back in the 80's, I didn't find some of the gay clubs in Seattle all that friendly. I always had a whole lot more fun in Tacoma or Portland, without having to deal with the "Seattletude".

    Not too long ago, I expressed my personal feelings online about gay clubs in Seattle with a guy from Seattle. The guy got horribly defensive and made me feel guilty for having ever mentioned it, insinuating that it was just me.

    Last year, I went to Puerto Vallarta a couple of times and had a great time, doing the clubs and the like. I asked a couple of guys who had visited Seattle, what they thought of the Seattle gay scene. In both instances, there was a silent stare and then, "The guys think that they are all that!" "They aren't!" Or something to that effect... One guy was a 26 year old guy from NYC and the other a 40 something guy from San Francisco. I felt a little better, knowing that it wasn't just me!

    The last time that I went to a club here locally, 2 years ago, I was greeted by a stranger with a shaved head, who said to me, "Get a haircut!" I thought to myself, "How fucking rude can you be!" A shaved one like he had, no doubt!

    I do wish that people, in general, were a lot nicer and more loving to one another, and much more inclusive of differences, but the trend, over the years, has been just the opposite... If you don't fit into the ideal clone image, all too many will just ignore you, or worse yet, make you the subject of their ridicule and derision.

    Oh, well... C'est la vie, mon cheri! Tout casse, tout lasse, tout passe...

    This probably isn't the best place for deep philosophical discussions... The basis and purpose of this site is for Depth that is measured in inches, mein Freund, and the numerological 5 attitude part of me finds that exciting and it gets me horny as all hell. Alas, my numerological 2 life path, on the other hand, ultimately, wants and needs a whole lot more...
    I've rambled on ad nauseam, ad infinitum... Alles gute!:rolleyes: :smile:
     
  5. Theunbroken

    Theunbroken New Member

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    Reason 458 why i love the internet :rolleyes: i have met people who like me for me, and there has never been any physical "requirements" so to speak, i get my fair chance to talk to some really nice people and i feel that, if it had been in person, they may not have even noticed me, because, although it is hard to admit, i actually try to make myself unoticable because i am so shy of myself
     
  6. Hunt3ed

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    I've re-married, but my first wife is an actress, she put many cat walk models to shame, and I liked nothing more than the compliments we got when we were out. Her skin was flawless, the cutest fanny there ever was and she had all the right equipment, and I should have been happy. But I wasn't. She obsessed over her weight the colour of her nipples, split ends, what she looked like in this dress or that, we had to have china that showed off her looks, bed linen that complimented her skin tone. I was never happy, never satisfied.

    My new wife, for a better word, weighs the same as I do has a birth mark on her forehead, a big scar on her spine by her bum. She is no cat walk model, but she is the greatest person I have ever been with, we have chips in our crockery, we go out in what ever we feal comfortable, we are open about every thing to one anouther and most off all our sex life is great. She is my lover, my best friend, and I am so proud to be with her and seen with her.

    In short I was a fashion freak, I was after the looks. Now I take every one the way they are; warts and all, and to me now ugly is a state of mind, not an out ward appearance. I think that every one because of their different experiences in life has something of value to offer, but I have little time for the shallow face value people out there that think its all about image.
     
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