GoneA said:
Me: "actually julianne, i like my steak medium-rare."
Julianne: [pauses for a moment with a rather quizzical look on her face] "...so would it be silly to ask what large or small-rare is?"
This reminds me of a high school acquaintance of mine, who a few years ago was set up on a blind date. It was a double date. Basically, he had to go out with some girl's friend, so our buddy John could go out with that girl. So. He can't leave, because John's date is going well. His girl however was as sharp as hot spaghetti. Boredom (and cruelty) set in, and he began to play with her. At one point he says to her, "Look! A diversion!" She turns to see!
My worst date was a couple of years ago, and in a roundabout way, is how I got here. I like internet dating. I was on OkCupid for a while, where I met some really cool, nerdy, good-looking, funny guys. I went on quite a few really good dates that led to more dating, or at least more booty-calling. I was really into this one guy, let's call him J. He was very intelligent, and so full of life and adventure! He went running with the bulls! He backpacked his way south through Europe for two months. He hopped a ferry to (was it Egypt?) Africa. He'd worked for Bloomberg and survived for a few years. He was working on a master's in something I found fascinating at the time. He made me laugh until I hurt days later. Oh he was so funny. We began to spend hours and hours on the phone, laughing the entire time, developing our own private jokes, building a romance. One thing was clear: neither of us was looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. Just a new friend to have regular sex with. Maybe something else later, depending on the strength of the friendship itself. The friendship was going well. J and I were really bonding. We decided to have a date. Something fun, romantic, to be followed by rough sex.
So we meet up in Brooklyn to start with a walk by the water, and to check out a fair that was happening on the promenade. Well. He wasn't as attractive as his photos. Not at all. At all. He was much heavier in person, and his photos (I think deliberately) hid a huge bald spot he could have mentioned. However, he still had the same friendly eyes which had been the biggest appeal of his photos anyway. They were dark blue, very clear, curious, friendly, approachable and beautiful. Plus, like I said, we'd really bonded. I was extremely attracted to J, just not so much physically. As they say though, the mind is the most important sexual organ. And my mind was hooked.
When we got back to his apartment, it was a mess. Why would you invite someone over if it's a wreck? Easy. It's always a wreck. The bathroom was dirty. He needed to wash his dishes. The bed was made though. We sat on the floor amid the piles of papers and played video games. We went back to the couch and kissed. it was awful, but many first kisses are, right? So I kissed him again. Still awful. Bad sign. It just kept getting worse and worse. Physically painful at times, and then I see his dick.
Now, he'd already told me weeks before that he did not eat pussy. I had been willing to make a rare exception for him, so turned on by his mind was I. But that statement comes with expectations. And those expectations were not met.
2.5" very, very hard. And shaped like a pyramid. I put him to sleep the only way I know how and bailed.